公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: ควรตอบด้วยโครงสร้างที่ชัดเจน: ตอบว่าเคยชอบหรือไม่ก่อน แล้วจึงให้เหตุผลและตัวอย่าง ควรใช้ past tense ให้ถูกต้อง เช่น “liked,” “went” และ “made me feel” แก้คำที่ไม่เป็นธรรมชาติ เช่น “some sandwich” เป็น “some sandwiches,” “my families” เป็น “my family” และหลีกเลี่ยงการพูดซ้ำ ควรใช้คำเชื่อม เช่น “because” หรือ “for example” เพื่อให้คำตอบลื่นไหลและมีรายละเอียดเฉพาะเจาะจงมากขึ้น

範例: Yes, I really enjoyed going to parks as a child. I often went there with my family or friends to have a picnic and play games. For example, we sometimes brought sandwiches and flew kites, which always made me feel happy.

建議: ควรเริ่มด้วยคำตอบตรง ๆ เช่น “Yes, I still do” และใช้ present tense ให้ถูกต้อง ควรแก้ “going to park” เป็น “going to parks” หรือ “going to the park,” “something new that different” เป็น “activities that are different” และ “something interest me” เป็น “things that interest me” ควรเลือกกิจกรรมให้ชัดเจนและไม่พูดซ้ำ เช่น ออกกำลังกาย วิ่ง หรือทำงาน โดยใช้คำเชื่อม “Nowadays” และ “because” เพื่อเปรียบเทียบกับวัยเด็กอย่างเป็นธรรมชาติ

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, although I do different activities now. Nowadays, I usually go jogging, exercise, or do some work outdoors because I like being surrounded by nature. I also enjoy watching people and discovering interesting places.

建議: ควรตอบให้ชัดเจนและลดการพูดซ้ำ โดยแก้ “so many natural and trees” เป็น “a lot of natural areas and trees” และ “more park” เป็น “more parks” ประโยค “it can be a carbon emission to reduce” ใช้ไม่ถูกต้อง ควรเปลี่ยนเป็น “parks can help reduce carbon emissions and air pollution” ควรอธิบายประโยชน์ให้เป็นเหตุเป็นผล เช่น สถานที่ออกกำลังกาย พื้นที่พักผ่อน และการปรับปรุงคุณภาพอากาศ พร้อมใช้คำเชื่อม “because” หรือ “as a result”

範例: Yes, I would definitely like to see more parks in my city. Although my city has some natural areas, there are not enough public parks for residents. More parks would provide places for exercise and relaxation, and they could also help reduce air pollution and carbon emissions.

建議: ควรตอบตรง ๆ ว่าต้องการไป Central Park และใช้รูปประโยคให้ถูกต้อง เช่น “a park I have never visited before” แทน “any part that I never seen before” และ “one of the largest parks in the world” แทน “one of a huge park” ควรใช้ present perfect ให้ถูกต้องใน “I have never seen/visited” และเพิ่มรายละเอียดเฉพาะเจาะจง เช่น สถานที่ที่อยากเห็นหรือกิจกรรมที่อยากทำ โดยตัดคำฟุ่มเฟือยและการหยุดพูดที่ไม่จำเป็น

範例: Yes, I would love to visit Central Park in New York City. It is one of the largest and most famous urban parks in the world, and I have never been there before. I would like to walk around the park, see the trees and lakes, and experience its peaceful atmosphere.

× When I was a child, I like going to the park and doing some activity with my friends and family.

✓ When I was a child, I liked going to the park and doing some activities with my friends and family.

The phrase when I was a child refers to a completed period in the past, so like must change to the past tense liked.

× When I was a child, I like going to the park and doing some activity with my friends and family.

✓ When I was a child, I liked going to the park and doing some activities with my friends and family.

Some is used with a plural countable noun in this context, so activity should be activities. Use some activities when referring to more than one activity.

× I often go to the park with some with some sandwich to picnic with my families and then make me feel more happy.

✓ I often went to the park with some sandwiches to have a picnic with my family, and this made me feel happier.

The answer describes a childhood habit, so go and make should be in the past tense: went and made. The improved structure also makes the cause-and-effect relationship clear.

× I often go to the park with some with some sandwich to picnic with my families and then make me feel more happy.

✓ I often went to the park with some sandwiches to have a picnic with my family, and this made me feel happier.

Sandwiches is plural because the sentence uses some and refers to more than one sandwich. Family is normally treated as a singular collective noun when referring to one family.

× For now, I like going to park, just do something new that different from from when I was a child.

✓ For now, I like going to the park and doing something new that is different from what I did when I was a child.

The noun park needs the definite article the when referring to a specific type of place the speaker likes visiting. The phrase different from what I did is also grammatically complete.

× For now, I like going to park, just do something new that different from from when I was a child.

✓ For now, I like going to the park and doing something new that is different from what I did when I was a child.

The clause that different is missing the verb is. Every complete clause needs a verb, so use that is different.

× I like going to practice, to exercise and work, working running and seeing something interest me.

✓ I like practicing, exercising, working, running, and seeing things that interest me.

Interest is a verb, so it cannot directly describe something in this structure. Use things that interest me, where interest agrees with the plural subject things. The revised sentence also uses parallel forms consistently.

× In my city they have so many natural and trees, but I think I want to see more park because if you have a park in in the city, we can go there to do some more activities and it can be a carbon emission to reduce more carbon and pollution in the air.

✓ In my city, there are many natural areas and trees, but I would like to see more parks because having parks in the city can help reduce carbon emissions and air pollution.

Use there are to introduce plural nouns such as natural areas and trees. The there-be structure requires are because the following nouns are plural.

× In my city they have so many natural and trees, but I think I want to see more park because if you have a park in in the city, we can go there to do some more activities and it can be a carbon emission to reduce more carbon and pollution in the air.

✓ In my city, there are many natural areas and trees, but I would like to see more parks because having parks in the city can help reduce carbon emissions and air pollution.

More refers to more than one park in this general statement, so park should be parks. Carbon emissions is also plural because the sentence refers to emissions in general.

× In my city they have so many natural and trees, but I think I want to see more park because if you have a park in in the city, we can go there to do some more activities and it can be a carbon emission to reduce more carbon and pollution in the air.

✓ In my city, there are many natural areas and trees, but I would like to see more parks because having parks in the city can help reduce carbon emissions and air pollution.

The original sentence combines several incomplete and unclear clauses. The correction uses a clear subject and verb in each clause and expresses the intended meaning with the structure can help reduce.

× If they have to talk about any part that I never seen before, I want to see, uh, Central Park in New York City because it's one of a huge park in the world and is more with a tree and filled with the natural things that I want to visit one time in my life.

✓ If you are asking about a park that I have never seen before, I would like to visit Central Park in New York City because it is one of the largest parks in the world and is filled with trees and natural features that I would like to see at least once in my life.

After have, use the past participle seen, so have never seen is required. The present perfect is appropriate because the experience began in the past and is relevant now.

× If they have to talk about any part that I never seen before, I want to see, uh, Central Park in New York City because it's one of a huge park in the world and is more with a tree and filled with the natural things that I want to visit one time in my life.

✓ If you are asking about a park that I have never seen before, I would like to visit Central Park in New York City because it is one of the largest parks in the world and is filled with trees and natural features that I would like to see at least once in my life.

After one of, the noun must be plural because the expression identifies one member of a larger group. Therefore, use one of the largest parks, not one of a huge park. Trees is plural because the sentence refers to more than one tree.

× If they have to talk about any part that I never seen before, I want to see, uh, Central Park in New York City because it's one of a huge park in the world and is more with a tree and filled with the natural things that I want to visit one time in my life.

✓ If you are asking about a park that I have never seen before, I would like to visit Central Park in New York City because it is one of the largest parks in the world and is filled with trees and natural features that I would like to see at least once in my life.

The superlative phrase requires the definite article the: one of the largest parks. This article is used because the phrase refers to a specific group of the largest parks.

× If they have to talk about any part that I never seen before, I want to see, uh, Central Park in New York City because it's one of a huge park in the world and is more with a tree and filled with the natural things that I want to visit one time in my life.

✓ If you are asking about a park that I have never seen before, I would like to visit Central Park in New York City because it is one of the largest parks in the world and is filled with trees and natural features that I would like to see at least once in my life.

When comparing a park with all other parks in the world, use the superlative largest rather than the comparative more. The correct pattern is one of the largest parks.