公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 回答要更自然，先用一句主题句直接回答，然后用1–2个具体且连贯的支持细节。注意语法（例如“communicate with starters”不合适，应为“meet other children/people”），避免重复（如“more and more”）。使用连接词如“also”或“besides”要恰当，句子不宜过长。

範例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often met other children there, which helped me make friends and learn how to play in groups. Also, spending time outdoors made me feel healthier because of the fresh air.

建議: 回答要更简洁并自然表达频率和原因。去掉口语填充词（如“you know”）和重复词（如“that that”）。使用清晰的连接词说明时间、频率与理由。

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. On weekends I usually spend an hour at the riverside park in my city because it is very attractive and has many facilities, such as walking paths and benches.

建議: 内容需更准确、流畅。避免错误搭配（如“leash activities”应为“leisure activities”）和重复（多次否定或重复词）。给出1–2个具体理由并使用连接词（for example, additionally）。用更合适的词表达经济效益，例如“boost local businesses”。

範例: Yes, definitely. More parks would give people extra space for leisure activities like jogging or picnics. In addition, new parks could boost local businesses by attracting more visitors and creating opportunities for vendors.

建議: 回答要更自然并避免冗余（如“also...also...too”），用更地道的形容词（例如“beautiful”或“scenic”而非“aesthetic”）。说明具体想去的原因和期待的活动，并保持句子简洁。

範例: Yes, I would love to visit an oceanfront park in another city of my province. It is known for its diverse facilities and beautiful seaside views, and I would enjoy walking along the shore and taking photos.

× I thought that going to parks is not only beneficial for you to communicate with starters, but also communicate get more interpersonal skills.

✓ I thought that going to parks are not only beneficial for meeting strangers, but also help you develop more interpersonal skills.

句中有代词和短语使用不当：“you to communicate with starters”不自然且“starters”用词错误，应为“strangers”；且后半句的动词结构混乱（“communicate get”）应改为并列的结构。建议使用“help you + 动词原形”或“be beneficial for + doing”。注意主语与动词一致（复数可用“parks are”或改为“going to parks is”取决于结构，这里改为整体复数表达）。

× going to parks can also make you inhale more and more refreshing oxygen, increasing your immunity to diseases.

✓ Going to parks can also let you breathe more fresh air, increasing your immunity to disease.

“inhale more and more refreshing oxygen”措辞不自然，形容词使用冗长且“oxygen”在此语境常用“air”；“increasing your immunity to diseases”中“diseases”可用不可数或单数更自然。建议使用简洁的形容词搭配，如“breathe more fresh air”。

× For example, during the weekends, I always spend at least one hour on going to a park in the, you know, in the riverfront avenue of my city because I think that that park is extremely aesthetic, which also possesses a variety of amenities.

✓ For example, on weekends I always spend at least one hour going to a park on the riverfront avenue of my city because I think that park is extremely attractive and has a variety of amenities.

时态和介词使用有问题：应为一般现在时描述习惯性动作，短语应为“on weekends”而非“during the weekends”；“spend ... on going”结构不正确，应为“spend ... going”或“spend ... at”；“aesthetic”作形容词用在这里不自然，改为“attractive”；“possesses”虽可用但不如“has”自然。建议记住常用搭配：on weekends, spend time doing sth, have amenities。

× because installing a variety of parks cannot only make people get more space to do some leash activities, but also can, you know, cause a serious of other income not not only for the for the authorities, but also for the vendors.

✓ because building a variety of parks can not only give people more space to do leisure activities, but also generate additional income not only for the authorities but also for vendors.

多个介词/词汇使用错误：应为“leisure activities”而非“leash”；“installing parks”不如“building”或“creating”自然；“make people get more space”应为“give people more space”；“cause a serious of other income”语法混乱，应为“generate additional income”；重复的“not not only for the for the”需删除多余词。建议注意常见搭配并检查重复词。

× For instance, there is an oceanfront park in the other city of my province, which also has attracted me to a large extent because of the multiple and diversified amenities.

✓ For instance, there is an oceanfront park in another city in my province that has greatly attracted me because of its many and diverse amenities.

时态和表达不自然：用“in the other city of my province”过于笨拙，改为“in another city in my province”；“has attracted me to a large extent”不自然，改为“has greatly attracted me”；“multiple and diversified amenities”重复冗余，简化为“many and diverse amenities”。建议用更地道的短语并保持时态一致。

× Besides, the ocean landscape here is also aesthetic and exquisite too.

✓ Besides, the ocean landscape there is also very beautiful and exquisite.

“aesthetic”作为形容词可用，但在口语中不如“beautiful”自然；“also ... too”重复，应避免双重强调。建议使用单一程度副词（如“very”）并避免重复“also/too”。