公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler or unclear words (e.g., “THR”), and link ideas with simple connectors. Add one specific memory or example to make the answer more vivid. Keep to no more than 4–5 sentences.

範例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I was fascinated by nature and enjoyed watching plants, insects and squirrels. For example, I used to spend hours trying to catch ladybugs with my friends and we would play on the swings afterward. Those visits helped me learn about different animals and made me feel happy.

建議: Begin with a direct response, then briefly explain why using coherent linking words. Avoid awkward phrases (“college going student”, “regular 1 for me”) and be specific about frequency. Limit to 3–4 sentences.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy visiting parks, but I go much less often now. Because I am a college student, I am usually busy with classes and studying, so I visit a park only once a week or even less often. When I do go, I like to relax and clear my mind after a busy week.

建議: Answer directly and give concise supporting reasons. Avoid repeating earlier phrases and keep sentences natural. Specify why more parks would help (e.g., recreation, fresh air) and mention whether accessibility or company matters separately.

範例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide green space and improve people’s well-being. For example, more small parks near homes would make it easier for residents to exercise or relax. I would especially enjoy parks that have walking paths and benches where I could meet friends.

建議: Start with a clear topic sentence, then give a specific example or reason. Avoid repeating the word “scenery”; instead describe what you enjoy (views, boating, wildlife). Keep it to 2–3 sentences for clarity.

範例: Yes, I would like to visit parks that have lakes because the water makes the views more attractive and attracts birds. For instance, I hope to visit the lakeside park in X city where people can rent boats and watch sunsets over the water.

× I very much loved going to parks as a child as I liked exploring new THR things.

✓ I loved going to parks very much as a child because I liked exploring new things.

The adverb phrase 'very much' is better placed after the verb phrase 'loved' for natural English word order. Also 'as' used twice is awkward; replace the second 'as' with 'because' to show reason. 'THR' appears to be an error or typo and should be removed or replaced with 'things'. Suggestion: Place adverbial modifiers after the main verb and use 'because' for causal explanation.

× I was very intrigued about the nature.

✓ I was very intrigued by nature.

The adjective 'intrigued' is typically followed by 'by' rather than 'about'. Also English normally omits the definite article with general noun 'nature' (use 'nature' not 'the nature'). Suggestion: Use 'intrigued by' and drop 'the' when speaking about nature in general.

× I liked looking at plants and various kinds of creatures like insects and squirrels which were around the park.

✓ I liked looking at plants and various creatures, like insects and squirrels, that lived in the park.

'Kinds' is unnecessary and wordy; 'various creatures' is more natural. Use 'that lived in the park' or 'in the park' rather than 'which were around the park' for clearer, more idiomatic phrasing. Commas help separate the example phrase. Suggestion: Prefer concise phrases ('various creatures') and use restrictive 'that' or prepositional phrase 'in the park' for location.

× I also had a number of friends to play with in the park.

✓ I also had a number of friends to play with at the park.

The original sentence is grammatically acceptable but 'play with in the park' is slightly less idiomatic than 'play with at the park'. This correction improves preposition choice for location. Suggestion: Use 'at the park' when referring to activities that occur at that location.

× I still like going to the parks but I don't really have the time to do so as I'm always busy with one thing or the other.

✓ I still like going to parks, but I don't really have time to do so because I'm always busy with one thing or another.

Use no article before 'parks' when speaking generally ('going to parks' rather than 'the parks'). Also 'have the time' is acceptable but 'have time' is more natural here. Replace 'as' with 'because' for clarity and change 'one thing or the other' to the more common 'one thing or another'. Suggestion: Omit unnecessary articles and use standard idioms ('one thing or another').

× I'm a college going student so I have to spend time studying and knowing about different things that I can pursue in my career.

✓ I'm a college student, so I have to spend time studying and learning about different things I can pursue in my career.

'College going student' is nonstandard; use 'college student'. 'Knowing about' is awkward; 'learning about' is the correct verb to express acquiring knowledge. Also remove unnecessary 'that'. Suggestion: Use standard compound noun 'college student' and prefer 'learning about' for gaining knowledge.

× So going to the park is a weekly or a monthly thing rather than a regular 1 for me.

✓ So going to the park is a weekly or monthly thing rather than a regular activity for me.

Replace numeral '1' with the noun 'activity'. The article 'a' before 'monthly' is unnecessary when paired with 'weekly'. Use 'activity' to clarify meaning. Suggestion: Use nouns instead of numerals in this context and keep parallel structure ('weekly or monthly thing').

× As I said earlier, I'm very intrigued by the nature and I love exploring so seeing new parks will be a great idea if I get good company to explore new locations with and I would always be ready to explore new parks.

✓ As I said earlier, I'm very intrigued by nature and I love exploring, so seeing new parks would be a great idea if I have good company to explore with, and I would always be ready to visit new parks.

Drop the article 'the' before 'nature'. Use 'would be' for a hypothetical idea. 'Get good company to explore new locations with' is awkward; use 'have good company to explore with'. Use 'visit new parks' instead of repeating 'explore new parks' to avoid redundancy and improve clarity. Add commas to separate clauses. Suggestion: Use natural collocations ('have good company'), correct conditional/modal usage ('would be'), and manage clause boundaries with commas.

× I would like to go to parks in cities where there are lakes nearby as it adds to the scenery and makes the scenery more beautiful.

✓ I would like to go to parks in cities where there are lakes nearby, because they add to the scenery and make it more beautiful.

Subject-verb agreement and pronoun reference: 'it adds to the scenery' incorrectly uses 'it' to refer to 'lakes' (plural); use 'they add' and 'make it more beautiful'. Also avoid repeating 'scenery' twice; replace second instance with 'it'. Add 'because' for clarity and a comma before the clause. Suggestion: Ensure pronouns agree in number with their antecedents and avoid repetitive wording.