公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be direct and clear: give a concise topic sentence stating whether you liked parks, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid filler sounds and unclear phrases. Use appropriate vocabulary (e.g. noisy, crowded, unsafe) to describe childhood impressions.

範例: No, I didn’t enjoy going to parks as a child. For example, they were often noisy and crowded, which made me feel uncomfortable. Because of that, I preferred staying at home or playing in quieter places.

建議: Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No) and use correct tense and grammar. Use linking words (because, when, so) to connect reasons and give a specific example of what you do in parks. Reduce hesitations and correct phrases (e.g. 'when I feel like going outside', 'relax my body' → 'relax').

範例: Yes, I still like going to parks. I often go when I feel like getting fresh air because walking there helps me relax. For instance, last weekend I sat on a bench and watched the sky while listening to music.

建議: Answer directly and organize support with linking words. State whether you would like more parks and give specific reasons (more green space, plants, night views). Use clearer vocabulary (flowers, trees, natural landscapes, stars) and avoid repetition.

範例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide green space and improve air quality. For example, more parks with trees and flower beds would make the city more pleasant and allow people to enjoy stargazing at night.

建議: Give a direct topic sentence and then add specific reasons why you want to visit that park. Use linking words (because, so, for example) and include details about what interests you (design, plants, cultural features). Correct plural and article usage (e.g. 'different cities have different parks').

範例: Yes, I would like to visit a park in Beijing because parks there often have historical gardens and unique landscaping. For example, I want to see traditional pavilions and ancient trees that are different from the modern parks in my city.

× Actually not, because I think the child is, umm, very. MMM. It's very uh, uh, not polite, not imply.

✓ Not really, because I think children are, umm, very... umm, not polite and not well behaved.

The original uses 'the child' (singular) when referring to children in general; use plural 'children' and plural verb 'are' (subject-verb agreement). 'It's' and 'not imply' are incorrect; 'not imply' is not a correct description of behavior — use 'not well behaved' or 'impolite'. Also remove filler sounds for clarity. Suggestion: use plural nouns for general statements and choose appropriate adjectives or adjective phrases to describe behavior.

× Always, sometimes I like going to park, uh, when I was feel outside or I want to relax my body and I will go to park to see the sky.

✓ Sometimes I like going to the park when I feel like going outside or when I want to relax, and I go to the park to look at the sky.

Errors: missing article 'the' before 'park' (use 'the park' for specific/common places) and incorrect verb form 'was feel' — should be present 'feel' for habitual action. Also awkward phrasing 'relax my body' — use 'relax' or 'relax my body' consistently. Use consistent tense (present simple) for habitual actions. Suggestion: include appropriate articles and use present simple for habits.

× I like to see some umm flower or tree or some maybe a natural landscape umm I like to look sky in the night because I like star is.

✓ I like to see flowers and trees or natural landscapes. I like to look at the sky at night because I like stars.

Multiple errors: 'some umm flower' should be plural 'flowers' for general liking (subject-verb agreement/plurality). 'Look sky' requires preposition 'look at the sky'. 'In the night' should be 'at night'. 'I like star is' is incorrect structure — use 'I like stars'. Suggestions: use plural nouns for general preferences, include correct prepositions ('at' for 'look at the sky', 'at night'), and use simple noun plural forms.

× Yes, umm, I want to go to Beijing Park because I think different city have a different park and their landscape is different from our cities.

✓ Yes, I want to go to Beijing Park because I think different cities have different parks and their landscapes are different from ours.

Errors: 'different city have' — subject-verb agreement and pluralization: use 'cities have'. 'A different park' is okay but for general comparison use plural 'parks'. 'Their landscape is different from our cities' mixes singular/plural and possessive forms — better: 'their landscapes are different from ours.' Suggestion: make number consistent (plural) when comparing multiple cities and use correct subject-verb agreement and pronouns.