公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Clarifica errores y organiza la respuesta: comienza con una frase directa que responda a la pregunta, corrige «work» por «parks», usa tiempos verbales consistentes y evita oraciones confusas o palabras sueltas. Añade un detalle específico y usa un conector si amplías la idea (por ejemplo, “because” o “so”). Mantén máximo cinco oraciones.

範例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because my mother worked long hours and I often had no one to play with. So I spent a lot of time in green spaces, climbing trees and exploring. Those visits helped me learn how to entertain myself and made me feel safe outdoors.

建議: Mejora la naturalidad y la precisión: use expresiones naturales como “go for a walk” o “go hiking”, evite traducciones literales como “becomes my nervous system”. Sea más conciso y use un conector para enlazar razones (por ejemplo, “because” o “so”). Mantenga hasta cinco oraciones.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks; I often go for a walk or short hike there because it helps me relax and stay healthy. It also allows me to disconnect from work and clear my mind, which improves my concentration when I return.

建議: Corrija la repetición y la gramática: evite repeticiones como “to create to create” y termine la idea. Use un inicio directo (Yes/No) y añada una razón específica y concisa. Use conectores para explicar consecuencias (por ejemplo, “so” o “which means”).

範例: Yes, I would love more parks because recently several nearby green spaces were removed to build new housing. This is unfortunate, as it reduces places for exercise and relaxation for local residents.

建議: Mejora la claridad y corrección: cambie frases como “a few ones” por “a few” o “some parks”, evite construcciones confusas como “that in there outside of the country”. Dé un ejemplo concreto (nombre o país) y use un conector para comparar (e.g., “because” or “than”).

範例: Yes, there are a few parks I want to visit abroad, such as national parks in Canada or New Zealand, because they are much larger and greener than the parks near my home in Spain.

× As a child, I enjoyed going to work because my mom worked a lot, so I often didn't have anyone to play with. And for that reason is that I spend much, a lot of time at the green spaces where I climb. I bake.

✓ As a child, I enjoyed going to the park because my mom worked a lot, so I often didn't have anyone to play with. For that reason, I spent a lot of time in the green spaces where I climbed and played.

El estudiante mezcla tiempos verbales y usa presente donde debe usar pasado. Se usa 'enjoyed' y 'didn't have' en pasado, por lo que 'spend' y 'climb. I bake' también deben estar en pasado y corregidos a formas naturales: 'spent' y 'climbed and played'. Además, 'going to work' es incoherente con 'parks' y se corrige a 'going to the park'. Sugerencia: mantener el tiempo pasado coherente en toda la frase y revisar frases sueltas como 'I bake' que parecen errores tipográficos.

× Now that I'm older, I still enjoy going to green spaces just to do some small walk or to even do some hiking because it becomes my nervous system, it makes me healthier and it helps me to disconnect from work.

✓ Now that I'm older, I still enjoy going to green spaces just to take a short walk or even go hiking because it calms my nervous system, makes me healthier, and helps me disconnect from work.

Uso incorrecto de tiempos y de formas verbales: 'do some small walk' no es natural en inglés; debe usarse 'take a short walk'. 'To even do some hiking' se simplifica a 'even go hiking'. 'It becomes my nervous system' es una construcción incorrecta; la intención es 'calms my nervous system'. Sugerencia: usar expresiones idiomáticas correctas ('take a walk', 'go hiking') y elegir verbos adecuados para describir efectos ('calms', 'helps').

× I would really love to see more parks because a few weeks ago I saw that most of the parks around my home were taken down to make more buildings for to create to create new homes and it's sad to see how they.

✓ I would really love to see more parks because a few weeks ago I saw that most of the parks around my home were taken down to create new homes, and it's sad to see that.

Uso redundante e incorrecto de infinitivos: 'to make more buildings for to create to create' debe simplificarse a 'to create new homes'. Además falta cierre de la oración final; 'it's sad to see how they' es incompleta; debe completarse como 'it's sad to see that'. Sugerencia: evitar duplicación de 'to create', usar la voz pasiva correctamente ('were taken down') y asegurar cláusulas completas.

× There are a few ones that I would like to visit but they are not from my hometown, so I would like to visit them that in there outside of the country and they are quite big and greener than the ones that are here in Spain.

✓ There are a few that I would like to visit, but they are not in my hometown; they are outside the country, and they are much bigger and greener than the parks here in Spain.

Uso incorrecto y redundante de pronombres y expresiones: 'a few ones' es incorrecto; se usa 'a few' o 'a few ones' is awkward. 'Not from my hometown' debería ser 'not in my hometown'. Frase confusa 'visit them that in there outside of the country' debe reorganizarse a 'they are outside the country'. Comparativo 'greener than the ones that are here in Spain' se mejora a 'greener than the parks here in Spain'. Sugerencia: usar pronombres y frases espaciales correctas ('in my hometown', 'outside the country') y evitar palabras innecesarias.