公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Your answer is natural, relevant and sufficiently detailed, but slightly long and could be tightened to avoid redundancy. Keep to a clear topic sentence and one or two specific supporting details. Also vary vocabulary (e.g., use ‘spent time’ or ‘played outdoors’) and use a linking phrase to connect ideas succinctly.

範例: Yes. I loved the park near my house and went almost every day. For example, I spent afternoons there playing football with friends and sitting under flowering trees, which always helped me relax.

建議: The content is relevant but contains grammar mistakes and some unclear phrases (e.g., ‘fresh sea bridge’, ‘on wind’, tense consistency). Use present simple for habitual actions and correct collocations like ‘sea breeze’ and ‘go there in the evenings’. Keep it to two to three concise sentences and include a clear linking word.

範例: Yes, I do. There is a park by the sea near my home, and the sea breeze and open views help me unwind. I usually go there in the evenings to read or do light work after a busy day.

建議: Your idea is clear but phrasing has several errors and unclear words (‘give resistance’, ‘on winds’, ‘improve our level B’). Use precise vocabulary (e.g., ‘residents’, ‘sea breeze’ or ‘after work’), add a linking word to explain benefits, and keep sentences concise. Provide one specific example of a park benefit.

範例: Yes. My city is full of concrete, so more parks are needed. For example, new parks would give residents places to exercise and socialize after work, which would improve community well‑being.

建議: Good clear answer with interesting content. Minor improvements: use more precise collocations (e.g., ‘man‑made parks’ or ‘artificial parks’ is fine) and avoid repetition (‘architecture and attractions’ instead of ‘attraction that people have designed’). Use one linking phrase and keep to three sentences maximum.

範例: Yes. I want to visit large man‑made parks that showcase impressive engineering. For instance, I’d like to see the innovative architecture and high‑tech exhibits and try interactive installations there.

× There is a park near my house right by the sea and the fresh sea bridge and open views made me feel very relaxed.

✓ There is a park near my house right by the sea, and the fresh sea breeze and open views make me feel very relaxed.

Mixed tense and word choice: the sentence begins in present tense ('There is') but then uses past tense 'made'. For consistency with 'There is' and the follow-up 'I often go there', use present tense 'make'. Also 'sea bridge' is incorrect in this context; 'sea breeze' fits the intended meaning. Add a comma before 'and' to separate clauses.

× I often go there in the evening to read or do some light work and on wind after a busy day.

✓ I often go there in the evening to read or do some light work and feel the wind after a busy day.

Preposition and phrase choice: 'on wind' is incorrect. Use 'feel the wind' or 'enjoy the breeze'. Also the sentence lacked a verb for the second part; adding 'feel' completes the clause.

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because it is dominated by large buildings and concrete and we don't have enough green spaces for relaxation.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because it is dominated by large buildings and concrete, and we don't have enough green spaces for relaxation.

Run-on coordination: two independent clauses joined by 'and' require a comma before 'and' for clarity. The sentence is otherwise grammatically correct.

× New parks would give resistance a place to exercise, meet friends and on winds after work which would improve our level B.

✓ New parks would give residents a place to exercise, meet friends and enjoy the breeze after work, which would improve our quality of life.

Wrong word choice: 'resistance' is incorrect; 'residents' fits. 'on winds' is incorrect; use 'enjoy the breeze' or 'feel the wind'. 'Level B' is unclear and ungrammatical; replace with 'quality of life' to express improvement. Added a comma before 'which' to separate the relative clause.

× Yes, I would like to visit artificial parks in the future because they are built on very large scales and showcase impressive human engineering.

✓ Yes, I would like to visit artificial parks in the future because they are built on a very large scale and showcase impressive human engineering.

Number agreement and idiom: 'on very large scales' is awkward; the idiomatic expression is 'on a very large scale' (singular) when referring to the overall scale of such projects.

× I'm curious to see the architecture and attraction that people have designed, and I'd like to experience the advanced technology they use in those parks.

✓ I'm curious to see the architecture and attractions that people have designed, and I'd like to experience the advanced technologies they use in those parks.

Count and agreement: 'attraction' should be plural 'attractions' to match 'architecture' and 'people have designed' (multiple features). 'Technology' can be plural 'technologies' when referring to different systems used. This improves parallelism and accuracy.