公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Cần nối câu và làm câu trả lời mượt mà hơn, tránh những câu ngắt quãng và sửa ngữ pháp. Nên mở đầu bằng câu chủ đề rõ ràng, sau đó cung cấp chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ nơi chốn, hoạt động làm ở công viên, tần suất) và dùng liên từ để nối ý. Đồng thời chú ý cấu trúc thì (past simple) và câu hoàn chỉnh.

範例: Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child. I often visited the nearest park with my friends every weekend, where we played on the swings and climbed trees. Those visits were a big part of my childhood because they gave me freedom and fun.

建議: Cần diễn đạt rõ ý định hiện tại và tránh lỗi ngữ pháp/đảo trật tự. Tránh nói lặp và dùng từ không chính xác (ví dụ “improve my house” không phù hợp). Nên nói mục đích cụ thể (exercise, relax, enjoy scenery) và dùng liên từ để kết nối ý.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to the park. I usually go for a walk to get some exercise and to relax in the fresh air, and I also like sitting on a bench to enjoy the scenery after a busy day.

建議: Cần trả lời trực tiếp câu hỏi về mong muốn có thêm công viên và sửa lỗi số lượng/điều kiện. Tránh những lỗi phát âm/viết như “Parsimacon/parts”. Nên nói rõ có muốn thêm công viên hay không và nêu lý do (ví dụ dân số tăng, nhu cầu không gian xanh), dùng số liệu hoặc so sánh ngắn nếu có.

範例: I would like to see more parks in my city. At the moment there are only two or three small parks, which is not enough for the growing population, so more green spaces would improve residents' health and leisure options.

建議: Cần cụ thể hơn về những công viên muốn đến và lý do thuyết phục. Sửa lỗi ngữ pháp (ví dụ “I'd to make” → “I'd like to”), từ không phù hợp (“diet” có lẽ muốn nói “culture” hoặc “local food”). Nên đưa ra ví dụ tên địa điểm hoặc hoạt động mong muốn và kết nối lý do với lợi ích cá nhân.

範例: In the future, I'd like to visit famous parks in other cities or provinces, such as national parks or botanical gardens. I want to meet new people, learn about local history and culture, and try regional food while exploring new places.

× Yes, I did. When I was a child. I went to the parks in my area so much. This is one of my playground to play with my friends.

✓ Yes, I did. When I was a child, I went to the parks in my area a lot. This was one of my playgrounds to play with my friends.

Original sentences contain sentence fragments and incorrect article and plural use. 'When I was a child.' is a fragment and should be connected with a comma. 'so much' is informal and unnatural here; 'a lot' is better. 'the parks' is acceptable but 'parks in my area' is clearer. 'This is one of my playground' has two errors: tense consistency (past) and plural noun 'playgrounds'. Correct to 'This was one of my playgrounds'. Suggestion: combine fragments, maintain past tense for childhood, and use correct plural form for countable nouns.

× Currently I am a little bit over teenager. I still like going to the park umm because I want to go for a walk for my house to improve my house or I can relax with the fresh air and the views.

✓ Currently I am a little past my teens. I still like going to the park because I want to go for a walk near my house to clear my mind, or I can relax and enjoy the fresh air and the views.

Original has incorrect expression 'over teenager' and awkward phrasing. Use 'a little past my teens' for age. Verb forms and prepositions are wrong: 'go for a walk for my house' should be 'go for a walk near my house' or 'around my house'. 'to improve my house' is likely incorrect meaning; replaced with 'to clear my mind'. Also use parallel verbs 'relax and enjoy' and correct article usage with 'the fresh air and the views'. Suggestion: use natural idiomatic expressions for age and movement, correct prepositions and parallel structure.

× I think that I visited all of the the Parsimacon in my city because in my city just how two to three parts. So I think I visited all of this.

✓ I think that I have visited all of the parks in my city because my city only has about two or three parks. So I think I have been to all of them.

Multiple errors: 'visited' should be present perfect ('have visited'/'have been to') because the action is relevant to the present. Typo 'the the Parsimacon' and incorrect word 'Parsimacon' should be 'parks'. 'in my city just how two to three parts' has wrong word order and words: corrected to 'my city only has about two or three parks'. 'all of this' should be 'all of them' referring to parks. Suggestion: fix typos, use present perfect for life experiences, correct noun choice and pronoun reference.

× In the future, I think I want to visit another park in Otto, other cities or other provinces in my country. I'd to make new friends and to know about the history or the diet.

✓ In the future, I would like to visit parks in other cities or provinces in my country. I want to make new friends and learn about the history and local cuisine.

Original has incorrect place name 'Otto' (unclear) and awkward modal 'I think I want' — 'I would like' is more natural for future intentions. 'I'd to make' is ungrammatical; use 'I want to make' or 'I'd like to make'. 'to know about the history or the diet' is wrong: use 'learn about the history and local cuisine' if meaning food. Suggestion: use 'would like' for polite future intentions, correct infinitive forms, and choose appropriate nouns ('cuisine' instead of 'diet') and parallel structure.