公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Avoid repetition and fix verb tenses and articles (e.g., “in our hometown,” “there were no parks”).

範例: No, I didn't. There weren't any parks in my hometown, so we used open fields instead to play games like cricket and kabaddi.

建議: Organize your answer: give a clear reason, then one specific detail. Fix grammar (e.g., “different types of facilities,” “do some exercises,” “in Kathmandu it’s hard to find open spaces”). Use a linking word like ‘because’ or ‘however’.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy parks because they have pleasant facilities and greenery where I can exercise. However, in Kathmandu it is often hard to find open green spaces, so I visit parks when I can.

建議: Make a direct statement, then give a specific reason and an example of a benefit. Correct phrasing (e.g., “I would like to see more parks,” “the government should create more”). Use linking words such as ‘because’ and ‘for example’.

範例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in Kathmandu because the city is crowded and has few green spaces. For example, new parks would give residents places to exercise and relax, which would improve public health.

建議: Answer directly, then give a couple of specific details (location, features, why you want to go). Remove hesitations and repetition. Use correct articles and plural forms (e.g., “located in the heart of Kathmandu,” “a beautiful place with various flowers”).

範例: Yes, I would like to visit the Garden of Dreams, which is located in the heart of Kathmandu. It is popular for its well-kept lawns, many flower beds and peaceful atmosphere, so I look forward to relaxing there.

× No, I didn't when I was a child.

✓ No, I didn't like going to parks when I was a child.

The original sentence omits the main verb 'like', making the meaning unclear. The past tense auxiliary 'didn't' requires the base form of the main verb. Add 'like' to complete the negative past-tense statement.

× There is no park in in our hometown, so there is no opportunity to go there.

✓ There were no parks in our hometown, so we had no opportunity to go to them.

The question asks about childhood (past), so 'there is' should be changed to past 'there were'. Also use plural 'parks' if none existed, and adjust 'opportunity to go there' to 'go to them' to match plural and natural phrasing.

× However, we go the open places to play different types of outdoor games.

✓ However, we went to open places to play different types of outdoor games.

The sentence refers to childhood (past), so the verb should be past tense 'went' rather than present 'go'. Also include preposition 'to' after 'went' for correct verb-preposition structure.

× Yes I do. I like to go to the park because there is a there is a different types of facilities with natural beauty and do some types of exercises.

✓ Yes, I do. I like to go to the park because there are different types of facilities with natural beauty where I can do some exercises.

Mix of errors: 'there is a there is a' is a repetition and should be removed. 'Different types of facilities' is plural, so use 'there are'. Use 'where I can do some exercises' to express purpose; avoid 'do some types of exercises' which is awkward.

× In the context of Kathmandu, there is no open places to park. Is the best options to go though to find the open.

✓ In the context of Kathmandu, there are few open places or parks. It is best to go elsewhere to find open spaces.

Tense and number: use 'are' with plural 'places'. Original sentences are fragmented and unclear ('Is the best options...'). Rephrase to a clear, grammatical pair of sentences: use 'It is best to go elsewhere' and 'open spaces' for clarity.

× Yes, I would like to more of parks in my city because uh, in the crowded city like Kathmandu, there is no open places and it's hard to find the greenery and the outdoor exercises.

✓ Yes, I would like to have more parks in my city because, in a crowded city like Kathmandu, there are few open places and it's hard to find greenery and opportunities for outdoor exercise.

Add 'have' after 'would like to' to complete the phrase. Use article 'a crowded city' and change 'there is no open places' to 'there are few open places' for number agreement. 'The greenery' → 'greenery' (uncountable). 'The outdoor exercises' → 'opportunities for outdoor exercise' is more natural.

× So if government and authorities, more open parks will be beneficial.

✓ So if the government and authorities build more open parks, it will be beneficial.

The original lacks a verb in the conditional clause. Add 'the' before 'government', include verb 'build' to show action, and make the result clause grammatical: 'it will be beneficial'.

× Yes, I am, uh, there is a park called Garden of dreams.

✓ Yes, there is a park called the Garden of Dreams.

Remove the unnecessary 'I am, uh,' which is a spoken hesitation and not grammatical here. Use 'there is' to introduce the park and include the definite article 'the' before the proper name 'Garden of Dreams'.

× It is the located at the center heart of Kathmandu.

✓ It is located in the heart of Kathmandu.

Remove unneeded 'the' before 'located' and use the preposition 'in' with 'the heart of Kathmandu'. 'Center heart' is redundant; 'heart' is sufficient.

× It is very popular among the, uh, among the people and it is a very beautiful places, different, different flowers and greenery.

✓ It is very popular among the people and it is a very beautiful place with many different flowers and lots of greenery.

Use singular 'place' rather than plural 'places' to agree with 'It is'. 'Different, different' is repetitive; replace with 'many different'. Add 'with' to link features 'many different flowers and lots of greenery'.

× And it is a.

✓ And it is a peaceful and well-maintained park.

Original fragment 'And it is a.' lacks the noun/complement after 'a'. Provide a complete noun phrase like 'a peaceful and well-maintained park' to finish the sentence meaningfully.