公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be careful with tense and article usage, and make answers more concise and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense ('I loved...'), then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and correct small grammar errors (e.g., 'one or two hours', 'the swings').

範例: I loved going to parks with my family when I was young. For example, my mother often took me and I would spend an hour or two playing on the swings and climbing frames, which I found very exciting.

建議: Use clearer phrasing and correct collocations ('not as interested as', 'relax' instead of 'let my hair down'), and simplify sentence structure. Begin with a direct topic sentence about current interest, then add one or two specific reasons connected with linking words ('because', 'so').

範例: I’m not as interested in parks as I was as a child, but I still visit them sometimes. I go there to relax or jog because the trees and fresh air feel calming, and seeing other people outdoors lifts my mood.

建議: Fix word choice and grammar ('parks', 'help people unwind', 'places for children to play') and avoid repetition. Provide a concise main idea then two clear benefits using linking words ('because', 'for example').

範例: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because they help people unwind after a long day and provide safe places for children to play. For example, a new park could encourage families to spend more time outdoors and improve community health.

建議: Be concise and use precise vocabulary ('theme park', 'characters from films'). Start with a direct answer, then give specific reasons with linking words. Remove filler words and repetitions.

範例: Yes, I would like to visit Disneyland in the future because it’s a famous theme park full of attractions. I want to meet characters from my favorite films and try different rides and shows.

× When I was young, I really, really love to go to the park with my family, especially with my mom, because when I come with her, I can play in the park for a long time, like one of two hours.

✓ When I was young, I really, really loved going to the park with my family, especially with my mom, because when I went with her, I could play in the park for a long time, like one or two hours.

The sentence describes past habits, so verbs should be in the past tense. 'Love' should be 'loved'; 'to go' is acceptable but 'going' is more natural for habitual past actions; 'come' should be 'went' to match past time; 'can' should be 'could' for past ability; 'one of two hours' is ungrammatical and should be 'one or two hours'. Suggestion: use consistent past tense for all verbs when describing past routines and use 'one or two' for approximate duration.

× So I can play some activities in that part like swing that this makes really interesting.

✓ So I could do some activities in that park like swinging, which made it really interesting.

The sentence mixes tenses and has incorrect noun choice. 'Part' should be 'park'. Activities are described with verbs in -ing form after 'do' or as gerunds: 'swing' should be 'swinging'. 'That this makes' is incorrect grammar; use a relative clause 'which made it really interesting'. Also change 'can' to 'could' to match past tense context.

× Actually I don't really have a large interested like my childhood but I still like to go to the park when I want to let my hair down or just jogging around the park be because it has a lot of trees and also people that makes me feel satisfying.

✓ Actually I don't really have as much interest as I did in my childhood, but I still like to go to the park when I want to let my hair down or just jog around the park because it has a lot of trees and people, which makes me feel satisfied.

Multiple tense and form issues: 'large interested' is ungrammatical — use 'as much interest'; compare past and present with 'as I did in my childhood'. 'Just jogging' should be parallel with 'to let' so use infinitive 'to jog' or rephrase; remove 'be' which is extraneous. 'That makes' should be 'which makes' referring to the presence of trees and people. Use 'satisfied' (adjective) instead of 'satisfying' to describe the speaker's feeling.

× Actually I don't really have a large interested like my childhood but I still like to go to the park when I want to let my hair down or just jogging around the park be because it has a lot of trees and also people that makes me feel satisfying.

✓ Actually I don't really have as much interest as I did in my childhood, but I still like to go to the park when I want to let my hair down or just jog around the park because it has a lot of trees and people, which makes me feel satisfied.

The phrase 'like my childhood' needs a clause comparing current interest with past interest: 'as I did in my childhood'. 'People that makes' uses 'that' for people and singular verb 'makes' — use 'people, which makes' or 'people who make'. This correction also fixes pronoun/reference issues and verb agreement.

× Absolutely, yes, I would because I think parts can bring a lot of advantages such as help people unwind after a long day or just have a place for kids and children play in it.

✓ Absolutely, yes, I would because I think parks can bring a lot of advantages such as helping people unwind after a long day or providing a place for kids and children to play.

'Parts' should be 'parks'. The verbs following 'such as' need gerunds or infinitives: use 'helping' or restructure. 'Kids and children' is redundant — choose one or keep both but not repetitively; 'play in it' is awkward — use 'to play'.

× And I think parks is a a park of the important park in the cities.

✓ And I think parks are an important part of cities.

Multiple article and agreement errors: 'parks is' should be 'parks are' (plural subject-verb agreement). 'a a park of the important park' is incorrect; correct phrase is 'an important part of cities'. Use 'an' before vowel sound and 'part of' to express role.

× Actually, I want to visit Disneyland because it's like a large playground and park like it's it's called the park and because it has a lot of characters in the movie, in the cartoon.

✓ Actually, I want to visit Disneyland because it's a large playground and park, and it features many characters from movies and cartoons.

Redundant phrases 'like it's it's called the park' are ungrammatical; simplify to 'it is a large playground and park'. 'Characters in the movie, in the cartoon' should be 'characters from movies and cartoons'. Ensure present tense 'want' is fine for future intention and clean up redundancy.

× So I just want to visit their place to meet some some favorite characters and also do some activity.

✓ So I just want to visit the place to meet some of my favorite characters and also do some activities.

'Their place' is awkward; 'the place' or 'Disneyland' is better. 'Some some' is a repetition; remove duplicate. 'Favorite characters' needs possession 'my favorite'. 'Do some activity' should be plural 'do some activities' or 'take part in some activities'. Use gerund/plural forms appropriately.