公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 発音と文法の誤りが多く、文の構造も不自然です。まず主語と動詞の一致や過去形の使い方（例：’I liked...’, ‘I played...’）を正しくし、重複（’they they’）や不必要な語を省きましょう。また、話を整理して主題文（I liked going to parks）を最初に置き、続けて具体的な詳細（友達と遊んだ、絵を描くのが好きだった）を2〜3文でつなげる練習をしてください。リンク表現（for example, also, and）を使って流れを良くしましょう。

範例: I liked going to parks when I was a child. For example, I often played games with my friends there. I also enjoyed drawing pictures while sitting on the grass.

建議: 語順と語彙の選択（’clear airs’, ‘happier atmosphere’）が不自然です。現在の習慣を表す時は現在形を使い、理由を一つか二つに絞って具体的に述べましょう。接続詞（for example, because, so）で文をつなげ、短く明確な文を最大5文までに収めてください。さらに、’sit on a bench’などの自然な表現を使いましょう。

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because the air is fresh and the environment is calming. For example, I often sit on a bench to read or relax when I visit a park.

建議: 返答が冗長で語順が混乱しています（’more works’, ‘installed or parked’）。まず質問に直接答え（Yes/No）を明確にし、その理由を1〜2文で具体的に述べましょう。例えば、公園は十分にあるので別の施設（convenience stores, supermarkets）が欲しいと述べる際は、語彙を正確に使い、重複を避けてください。また接続詞（because, so）で論理的に理由をつなぎます。

範例: No, I don't think we need more parks in my city because there are already many. Instead, I would prefer more convenience stores and supermarkets in my neighborhood.

建議: 場所名や特徴を述べる際の語法が不正確です（’I had not be sat there’, ‘dogs and carrots’）。まず明確に未来の意図を表す表現（I want to visit, I hope to go）を使い、公園の特徴は具体的で正しい語彙（green spaces, friendly dogs, walking paths等）を選びましょう。文は最大5文に収め、接続語（for example, because, also）で理由を整理してください。

範例: Yes, I would like to visit a park in Hebei in the future because it is famous for its large green spaces and friendly dogs. I hope to walk along the paths and enjoy the peaceful atmosphere there.

× I liked going to a park when I was a child because they they were as many friends and so I talked with them and playing some games.

✓ I liked going to parks when I was a child because there were many friends, so I talked with them and played some games.

The sentence uses incorrect singular/plural forms: 'a park' vs 'they' and 'as many' is wrong. Use 'parks' to match 'many friends'. Also 'playing' should be past tense to match 'liked' and 'talked'. Improve by ensuring nouns and verbs agree in number and tense: 'parks', 'there were many friends', 'played'. Suggestions: Decide whether singular or plural is intended and make subjects, verbs, and pronouns agree in number.

× I liked going to a park when I was a child because they they were as many friends and so I talked with them and playing some games.

✓ I liked going to parks when I was a child because there were many friends, so I talked with them and played some games.

The original mixes 'talked' (past) with 'playing' (present participle), creating inconsistent verb forms. Use past simple consistently: 'played'. Suggestion: Keep verbs in the same tense for coordinated actions: use 'talked and played'.

× I liked going to a park when I was a child because they they were as many friends and so I talked with them and playing some games.

✓ I liked going to parks when I was a child because there were many friends, so I talked with them and played some games.

The pronoun 'they' does not agree with 'a park' and is repeated. Replace with 'there' + 'were' to introduce existence of friends. Ensure pronouns match their antecedents.

× I also had a hobby such as drawing up drawing.

✓ I also had a hobby such as drawing.

'Drawing up drawing' is redundant and ungrammatical. Use the noun 'drawing' once. Remove extra words. Suggestion: Use concise noun phrase: 'a hobby such as drawing'.

× Of course I still like going to parks now because there are a lot of clear airs and it makes me happier atmosphere and when I would be at park I often shared a bench.

✓ Of course I still like going to parks now because the air is clear and it makes me feel happier, and when I am at a park I often share a bench.

Several problems: 'clear airs' is incorrect—use 'the air is clear' (singular, uncountable). 'Makes me happier atmosphere' is ungrammatical; use 'makes me feel happier' or 'creates a happier atmosphere'. 'When I would be at park' mixes conditional/modal and missing article—use present simple 'when I am at a park'. 'Shared' should be present simple 'share' to match 'still like'. Suggestion: Use correct collocations ('the air is clear'), correct verb tense and articles.

× Of course I still like going to parks now because there are a lot of clear airs and it makes me happier atmosphere and when I would be at park I often shared a bench.

✓ Of course I still like going to parks now because the air is clear and it makes me feel happier, and when I am at a park I often share a bench.

'At park' needs the article 'a' before 'park'. Also 'going to parks' is correct but 'at park' must be 'at a park'. Suggestion: Use articles with singular countable nouns: 'at a park'.

× I would not like to see more works in my city because there is there has been already installed or parked some many parks in my in my town, so I want more installed convenience stores and supermarket.

✓ I would not like to see more parks built in my city because there are already many parks in my town, so I want more convenience stores and supermarkets to be built.

'Works' is incorrect for 'parks'. 'There is there has been already installed or parked some many parks' is ungrammatical; use 'there are already many parks'. 'Supermarket' should be plural to match 'more'. Use 'built' or 'installed' consistently. Ensure nouns match number and use clear verbs. Suggestion: Use 'there are already many parks' and pluralize 'supermarkets'.

× I would not like to see more works in my city because there is there has been already installed or parked some many parks in my in my town, so I want more installed convenience stores and supermarket.

✓ I would not like to see more parks built in my city because there are already many parks in my town, so I want more convenience stores and supermarkets to be built.

'Installed' and 'parked' are odd collocations for parks; use 'built' or 'created'. Also remove duplicated words 'in my in my'. Suggestion: Use natural verbs for construction: 'built'.

× Uh yes, I want to visit a park in Hebea but I I had not be sat there.

✓ Uh yes, I want to visit a park in Hebei but I have not been there.

'Had not be sat there' is incorrect: wrong tense and form. For a past experience up to now, use present perfect 'have not been there'. Also 'sat' is wrong; use 'been'. Suggestion: Use 'I have not been there' for experiences not yet had.

× It is famous to be many green spaces and dogs and carrots.

✓ It is famous for having many green spaces, dogs, and carriages.

'Famous to be many' is incorrect; use 'famous for having'. 'Carrots' is likely wrong—probably 'carriages' or 'cafes'; original word is unclear. Choose a logical noun; I suggested 'carriages' but confirm intended word. Suggestion: Use 'famous for having' + noun phrase and verify the correct listed items.

× They are friendly so I want to see them.

✓ The dogs are friendly, so I want to see them.

Sentence lacks clear subject: 'They' is vague. Clarify the referent 'the dogs'. Also keep comma before 'so' when joining clauses. Suggestion: Make subjects explicit: 'The dogs are friendly'.

× In addition, it was very big so.

✓ In addition, it is very big.

'It was very big so' is incomplete and mixes past tense with a likely present or future intention. Remove trailing 'so' and use present tense 'is' when describing a place. Suggestion: Complete the thought or use correct tense: 'It is very big' or 'It was very big when I visited'.