公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and fluent. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words and repetitions, and add one or two specific supporting details using a linking word. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

範例: Yes, I loved going to the park as a child. For example, after long school days I used to imagine playing on the swings and running around with friends. Because the park felt relaxing and exciting, it became the highlight of my week.

建議: Organize your answer with a topic sentence and a clear reason. Minimize hesitations and correct tense consistency. Use a linking word to connect ideas and add a brief specific example.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, although my schedule is quite hectic. Because I take my nephews there regularly, I often sit on a bench while they play, which gives me a pleasant break from work. This routine helps me relax on weekends.

建議: Answer directly and give a reason or example. Reduce fillers and make grammar accurate (e.g., tense and article use). Use a linking word to show purpose or frequency.

範例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because we often look for new places to take my nephews. For instance, if there were more small neighborhood parks, families could walk to them instead of driving.

建議: Be specific and correct word choice. Start with a clear statement naming the park or location, explain why you want to return, and avoid vague or incorrect words (e.g., 'wasted' → 'visited'). Keep it concise and fluent.

範例: Yes, I would like to revisit the large park in the capital city that I visited once before. I enjoyed its lakes and walking paths, so I plan to go back to spend a whole day exploring and taking photos.

× Unquestionably, I, I loved to go to the park when I was a child, umm, in a whole working days when I was in school, uh, when I was sitting in the school in the classroom, uh, was thinking about when will be this week over and I.

✓ Unquestionably, I loved going to the park when I was a child; during the long school days I would sit in class thinking about when the week would be over.

Issues: present/past tense and verb form. 'Loved to go' is acceptable but 'loved going' is more natural. 'In a whole working days' is ungrammatical — corrected to 'during the long school days'. The subordinate clause 'when will be this week over' uses incorrect question word order and tense; it should be indirect speech: 'when the week would be over'. Also supplied proper sentence structure and punctuation to clarify meaning.

× And now it is my schedule is little hectic, but I do go, uh, to take my little, uh, nephews, uh, to the park. So I just sit there and they have fun. Uh, I still enjoyed going to the park with them.

✓ Now my schedule is a little hectic, but I still go to take my young nephews to the park. I just sit there while they have fun, and I still enjoy going to the park with them.

Issues: present tense consistency and article use. Remove redundant 'it is' and use 'a little hectic'. 'Little nephews' is incorrect; use 'young nephews'. 'I still enjoyed' mixes past with present; use present 'I still enjoy' to match ongoing habit. Added 'while' for clarity.

× Uh, sure, I currently do uh, visit many parks, uh, when I take my nephews with me. So in every, uh, next time I take them to the new park.

✓ Sure, I currently visit many parks when I take my nephews with me, so every time I try to take them to a new park.

Issues: verb form and word choice. 'Do visit' is unnecessary emphatic; simple present 'visit' is natural. 'In every next time' is ungrammatical; use 'every time' and 'try to take them to a new park' to convey intention. Also remove filler words for clarity.

× Uh, for sure there is a park in the capital of my country, which is long, uh, there I would like to go again, uh, which I wasted in the past. So I would definitely like to go there.

✓ There is a park in the capital of my country that is large; I would like to go there again because I wasted my previous visit in the past.

Issues: word choice and past tense phrasing. 'Which is long' likely intended 'large' or 'long-lasting' — corrected to 'large'. 'Which I wasted in the past' is awkward; clarify as 'I wasted my previous visit' and keep past tense 'wasted' but connect reasons clearly. Alternatively say 'I missed the chance to enjoy it before' for clearer meaning.