公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more fluent and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (uh, umm), and use one or two supporting details with linking words. Also vary vocabulary (e.g., ‘enjoyed’, ‘butterflies’ already good) and avoid repetition.

範例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because they were full of colorful flowers and butterflies. For example, I often spent hours chasing butterflies and exploring plants, which made me feel joyful and curious.

建議: Give a direct topic sentence and a specific reason with a linking word. Reduce hesitation and correct phrasing: say ‘relieve my stress’ not ‘redo my stress’. Keep it within 2–3 sentences for clarity.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me relax and relieve stress. For instance, I like to sit on a bench and read or take a short walk to clear my mind.

建議: Answer directly and give a specific reason with clearer grammar and fewer repetitions. Use linking words like ‘because’ or ‘so’ correctly and correct singular/plural (park/parks, city/city). Provide one concrete suggestion or effect of having more parks.

範例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because currently we have very few green spaces. If there were more parks, people could exercise, relax outdoors, and children would have safe places to play.

建議: Be specific about the parks and why you want to visit them. Avoid vague phrases (‘the new park in my future’) and reduce hesitations. Use linking words to explain reasons (e.g., ‘because’, ‘because they feature’, ‘for example’).

範例: Yes, I would love to visit famous parks in Korea or Japan because they often combine beautiful gardens with cultural features. For example, I want to see Japan’s traditional gardens to learn about their design and enjoy seasonal flowers like cherry blossoms.

× Yes, I did, uh, because I like to, umm, I like to play in the park because they, they have a lot of flowers and uh, I can see, uh, beautiful butterflies and, uh, small, small insects. Yeah, that's why I like, I like to, I like to go into the park.

✓ Yes, I did, because I liked to play in the park because it had a lot of flowers and I could see beautiful butterflies and small insects. That's why I liked to go to the park.

The student mixes past and present tense. The question asks about childhood (past), so verbs should be in the past tense (liked, had, could). Also 'the park' is singular so use singular pronoun 'it' rather than 'they'. Use 'go to the park' rather than 'go into the park' for general visits. Suggestion: keep all verbs in past tense when describing past habits and use matching singular pronouns.

× Uh, yes, yes, I do because I, I like to, I'm still like to go to the parks because, uh, it can, can make me relax and redo my stress. So I, I like it.

✓ Yes, I do because I still like to go to parks because they can help me relax and reduce my stress. So I like them.

Student uses awkward verb forms and incorrect verb choice. Use present simple for current habits (I still like, they can help). 'Make me relax' is better expressed as 'help me relax'. 'Redo my stress' is incorrect; correct verb is 'reduce'. Also plural 'parks' requires plural pronoun 'them'. Suggestion: use simple present for current preferences and choose accurate verbs like 'help' and 'reduce'.

× Yes, I would like to see more park in my cities, uh, because there there don't have a park in my city. So I really like to, I really like to be there. There will be, uh, park.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because there isn't a park in my area. So I would really like to have parks there.

Errors: 'more park' should be plural 'more parks'; 'my cities' conflicts with 'my city'—use one consistent noun. 'There there don't have a park' is ungrammatical; correct structure is 'there isn't a park' or 'there are no parks'. 'There will be park' is incorrect—use 'have parks' or 'there would be parks'. Suggestion: use plural when referring to multiple parks, keep subject consistent, and use correct 'there is/are' constructions.

× Uh, yes, I, yes, I I really like to go to the new park in my future, like like in the Korea countries or Japanese countries. Yeah, I really like to go there. The park are really interesting and I think really meaningful.

✓ Yes, I would really like to go to a new park in the future, for example in Korea or Japan. I really want to go there. The parks are really interesting and I think they are meaningful.

Preposition and country form errors: say 'in the future' not 'in my future'. Country names should be used without 'countries' when listing (Korea, Japan). Use article 'a new park' for a nonspecific single park. Subject-verb agreement: 'The park are' should be 'The parks are' (plural) or 'The park is' (singular) and refer correctly with 'they are'. Suggestion: use 'in the future', proper country names, appropriate articles, and match number between subject and verb.