公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Câu trả lời khá tự nhiên nhưng hơi dài và có vài lỗi nhỏ về ngữ pháp và từ vựng (ví dụ: “the parks” không cần mạo từ, “play with the swings” nên là “play on the swings”, “become more memorable” sai thì – nên là “made our afternoons more memorable and carefree”). Hãy rút gọn thành 2–3 câu, dùng câu chủ đề rõ ràng, sửa lỗi nhỏ và thêm một chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ: một trò chơi hoặc kỷ niệm).

範例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often played on the swings and slides with my friends, and we would race each other or have picnics, which made those afternoons fun and unforgettable.

建議: Ý tưởng rõ ràng nhưng có lỗi ngữ pháp và từ vựng (ví dụ: “nears” → “near”, “every mornings” → “every morning”, câu dài và hơi lủng củng). Hãy sử dụng cấu trúc ngắn, dùng linking word nếu thêm chi tiết (e.g., “because”, “so”), và nêu một hoạt động cụ thể kèm thời gian.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, especially the one near my house, because it has good facilities and lots of trees. I usually go jogging there in the mornings and sit on a bench to listen to music after work.

建議: Nội dung hợp lý nhưng có lỗi phát âm/viết (“packs” nên “parks”), số ít/những chỗ ngữ pháp cần chỉnh (“high rise building” → “high-rise buildings”, lặp từ “so”). Hãy viết ngắn gọn, đưa lý do cụ thể (ví dụ: “improve air quality”, “provide play areas for children”) và kết luận bằng mong muốn rõ ràng.

範例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because high-rise buildings have reduced public green space. More parks would improve air quality and provide safe play areas for children, so I hope the local government will invest in them.

建議: Ý trả lời cụ thể nhưng có vài lỗi nhỏ về mạo từ và diễn đạt (ví dụ: “the Disneyland” → “Disneyland”, “on the TV of Disney” → “on Disney TV” hoặc “in Disney films”). Cần tránh tiếng ần (“Uh”) và sử dụng 2–3 câu rõ ràng, nêu hoạt động cụ thể bạn muốn thử.

範例: If I have the chance, I would like to visit Disneyland because it brings my favourite Disney characters to life. I am especially excited to watch the parades and try the themed rides.

× I really enjoyed going to the parks because I could meet my friends to play with the swings or the slides, and we could also chat about our families and our studies at school, which made our afternoons become more memorable and carefree.

✓ I really enjoyed going to parks because I could meet my friends to play on swings or slides, and we could also chat about our families and our studies at school, which made our afternoons more memorable and carefree.

Use of the definite article 'the' before plural general nouns is incorrect when speaking about parks in general. Also, 'play with the swings' and 'the slides' should be 'play on swings' and 'slides' for natural collocation. 'Made our afternoons become more memorable' is wordy; use 'made our afternoons more memorable'. Suggestions: omit 'the' for general plural nouns, use 'play on' with swings/slides, and simplify 'become more' to 'more'.

× I still enjoy going to parks now, especially the one nears my house because it has a lot of facilities and green surroundings so that I can spend time going jogging there and sitting on some benches to listen to music every mornings.

✓ I still enjoy going to parks now, especially the one near my house because it has a lot of facilities and green surroundings so I can go jogging there and sit on some benches to listen to music every morning.

Use 'near' not 'nears' (preposition vs verb). 'So that I can spend time going jogging' is awkward; use 'so I can go jogging'. 'Every mornings' is uncountable/adverbial and should be 'every morning'. Suggestions: use correct preposition 'near', use simple verb forms 'go jogging' and 'sit', and use 'every morning' for habitual time expressions.

× Absolutely, I want to see more packs appearing in the city because nowadays there are many high rise building as well as skyscrapers in my city, so there are no spaces for the parks.

✓ Absolutely, I want to see more parks appearing in the city because nowadays there are many high-rise buildings as well as skyscrapers in my city, so there is no space for parks.

'Packs' is incorrect plural form; should be 'parks'. 'High rise building' needs plural 'buildings' and a hyphenated adjective 'high-rise'. 'There are no spaces for the parks' is unnatural; use 'there is no space for parks' or 'no space for the parks' depending on context. Suggestions: correct plural forms, hyphenate compound adjectives, and use uncountable 'space' when referring to available room in general.

× So I hope that in the future the local authorities as well the government will invest more in building parks for the residents.

✓ So I hope that in the future the local authorities as well as the government will invest more in building parks for the residents.

Missing conjunction 'as' in the correlative phrase 'as well as'. Use 'as well as' to link two entities properly. Suggestion: include 'as' to form 'as well as'.

× Uh, if I have a chance in the future, I will visit the Disneyland.

✓ Uh, if I have a chance in the future, I will visit Disneyland.

Use of the definite article 'the' with proper noun 'Disneyland' is incorrect; theme park names usually do not take 'the'. Suggestion: drop 'the' before names like Disneyland.

× it is designed for people to meet all the characters that I have seen on the TV of Disney, such as Cinderella.

✓ it is designed for people to meet all the characters that I have seen on Disney TV, such as Cinderella.

Awkward phrase 'on the TV of Disney' should be 'on Disney TV' or 'on Disney's TV channels'. Move possessive 'Disney' before 'TV' and omit 'the'. Suggestion: use natural possessive forms like 'Disney TV' or 'Disney's TV channels'.

× And I also want to try some parades and the rides there.

✓ And I also want to try some parades and ride some attractions there.

'Try some parades' is unnatural; you 'watch' or 'attend' parades rather than 'try' them. 'Try the rides' is acceptable but 'the rides' could be 'ride some attractions' for variety. Suggestions: use verbs that collocate with events/activities: 'attend parades' and 'ride attractions'.