公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Clarify and organize your reply. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No), then give 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and incorrect verb forms. Focus on correct past tense and natural collocations (e.g., “play games” not “overplayed”).

範例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often went to a park near my home with my friends, where we played games such as cricket and volleyball. Because the park was safe and spacious, we spent most afternoons running around and exploring.

建議: Be concise and correct word choice. Begin with a direct answer, then give specific current habits and purpose. Use linking words (for example, “usually” and “because”) and correct collocations (e.g., “go sightseeing” not “site seeking”). Avoid repetition and awkward pronouns.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to the park near my home. I usually go there with my family in the evenings to relax and talk, and we often watch children playing. Because the park is peaceful, it helps us unwind after a busy day.

建議: Answer directly and support with clear reasons. Use linking words like “because” and “for example” correctly. Avoid unclear phrases and fillers. Provide specific benefits (appearance, air quality, exercise) with concise explanations and correct grammar (e.g., “help people relax and get some exercise”).

範例: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because they improve the appearance and air quality. For example, parks provide green spaces where people can relax after work and do light exercise such as walking or stretching.

建議: Provide a clear, organized response. Start with a direct statement about which park you want to visit, then give specific activities and reasons. Avoid filler words and use correct modal verbs for future plans (e.g., “I would like to go” or “I plan to go”).

範例: Yes, I would like to visit Heart Lake in my city. The park has a small heart-shaped lake, and I plan to go there this weekend to sit by the water, read a book, and take a long walk to relieve stress.

× I'm just absolutely, absolutely.

✓ I absolutely loved it.

The original sentence is fragmented and repetitive. Replace with a complete clause that matches the past context ('Did you like going to parks as a child?') and uses a clear verb. Use 'loved' to indicate past liking and 'absolutely' as an adverb modifying the verb.

× When I was a child I used to go back near my home.

✓ When I was a child, I used to go to the park near my home.

The phrase 'go back near my home' is not idiomatic and lacks clarity. Use 'used to' for past habitual actions and place the object 'the park' after 'go to'. Add a comma after the introductory clause for clarity.

× Oh, me and my friends are overplayed.

✓ Oh, my friends and I used to play a lot.

Use the subject pronoun order 'my friends and I' and the correct past habitual verb 'used to play' instead of 'are overplayed'. 'Overplayed' is incorrect meaning-wise here. 'Play a lot' conveys frequent play in the past.

× There are some games like cricket, volleyball and some other play some other games.

✓ We played games like cricket, volleyball, and other games.

The original mixes present 'there are' with unclear repetition. Because context is past, use 'we played' and list examples cleanly. Remove duplicated phrases and keep parallel structure.

× I still go to the park which is near near my home.

✓ I still go to the park near my home.

Remove the duplicated word 'near'. Use present simple 'I still go' for habitual present actions. The relative clause 'which is' is unnecessary and can be omitted for conciseness.

× I usually go there with my family members in the evening.

✓ I usually go there with my family in the evening.

'Family members' is wordy; 'my family' is more natural. The present simple 'go' correctly expresses a habitual action, so no tense change is needed.

× We we do their site seeking and just talking with the others and watching children playing us, playing around us.

✓ We do sightseeing, talk with others, and watch children playing around us.

The original contains repetition ('we we'), incorrect phrase 'site seeking', and awkward 'playing us'. Use 'sightseeing' (noun) or 'go sightseeing' and maintain parallel verb forms: 'do sightseeing, talk, and watch'. 'Children playing around us' is the correct phrase.

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city with because UMM 8 enhance the appearance of the city and improves the air quality.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they enhance the appearance of the city and improve air quality.

Remove the redundant conjunction 'with' and 'UMM 8' which seems to be filler. Use plural subject 'they' to refer to 'parks', so verbs should be plural ('enhance', 'improve'). Keep consistent parallel structure.

× People can relax after their daily stress and do and get some little bit exercises.

✓ People can relax after daily stress and get some light exercise.

'Some little bit exercises' is ungrammatical. Use 'get some light exercise' or 'do a bit of exercise'. Also 'their' before 'daily stress' is unnecessary; 'daily stress' suffices.

× And there are several parks in my city where I like to go, specially the heart lake.

✓ There are several parks in my city where I like to go, especially Heart Lake.

Avoid starting with 'And'. Use 'especially' (spelled correctly) and capitalize proper noun 'Heart Lake'. The sentence is present preference, so present form is fine.

× It has a small lake in the shape of a heart.

✓ It has a small lake shaped like a heart.

The original is understandable but wordy. Use the reduced adjective phrase 'shaped like a heart' instead of 'in the shape of a heart' for conciseness. Article use is fine; this is a style improvement.

× I want to go there on the weekend.

✓ I want to go there on the weekend.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable. 'Want to' correctly expresses intention. No change needed.

× I could sit, read and, uh, walk around the lake, uh, and wind my stress.

✓ I could sit, read, walk around the lake, and unwind to relieve my stress.

'Wind my stress' is incorrect; the intended verb is 'unwind' meaning to relax. Use parallel gerunds 'sit, read, walk' and add 'to relieve my stress' or simply 'and unwind' for clarity. 'Could' is acceptable for a possible activity in the future or habit.