公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, correct tense errors, and add one specific detail. Use one linking word if expanding. For example, say when you went and what you did there.

範例: Yes, I did. I often went to the park near my house when I was a child, and I used to play football and climb trees with my friends.

建議: Good content and structure but improve natural phrasing and accuracy: remove unnecessary articles, use concise vocabulary, and add a brief specific reason or example with a linking word (e.g., because or so).

範例: Yes, I still enjoy visiting parks on weekends with my family because being outdoors helps me relax and we often have picnics or short walks together.

建議: Avoid vague or awkward phrasing and keep sentences concise: begin with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific reason with linking words. Correct the location word choice (city vs village) and use precise vocabulary.

範例: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because they add greenery and improve air quality, and people would have more places to exercise and relax.

建議: Make your answer more concise and grammatically correct: start with a clear topic sentence, correct subject–verb agreement, avoid repetition, and give one or two specific details about the park. Use linking words such as and or for example.

範例: Yes, I would like to visit a large park in Ludhiana district in the future because it has outdoor gym equipment and extensive gardens with many trees and flowers for relaxing walks.

× Yes I did. I like going to parks as a child. I play with played with my friends there.

✓ Yes, I did. I liked going to parks as a child. I played with my friends there.

The student mixes past and present tenses. The question asks about childhood, so past tense should be used. 'I like going to parks as a child' should be 'I liked going to parks as a child' and 'I play with played with my friends there' should be simply 'I played with my friends there.' Use past simple for completed habitual actions in childhood. Suggestion: Use past simple for past habits: 'I liked' and 'I played.'

× It helps me to connect with the nature.

✓ It helps me to connect with nature.

'The nature' is incorrect here; 'nature' as a general concept usually does not take the definite article. Also 'connect with nature' is the common collocation. Remove 'the' for natural general meaning. Suggestion: Use 'connect with nature.'

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because I love greenery and parks are enhanced beauty in my village.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because I love greenery and parks enhance the beauty of my village.

'Parks are enhanced beauty in my village' is ungrammatical. The intended meaning is that parks increase or enhance beauty. Use the active verb 'enhance' and include the definite article with 'beauty' as 'the beauty of my village.' Suggestion: Say 'parks enhance the beauty of my village.'

× Yes, in the future I would want to go a big park that are located in Ludhiana District.

✓ Yes, in the future I would like to go to a big park that is located in Ludhiana District.

Multiple errors: 'would want to go a big park' needs 'go to a big park' and 'would like' is more natural than 'would want' here. 'That are located' is plural but refers to 'a big park' (singular), so use 'is located.' Also add the preposition 'to.' Suggestion: Use 'I would like to go to a big park that is located in Ludhiana District.'

× It's a more beautiful and big park and there are so many facilities are available like gym equipments and greenery, and there are so many trees, flowers and so on.

✓ It's a very big and beautiful park, and many facilities are available, such as gym equipment and green spaces; there are also many trees, flowers, and so on.

Word order: use 'big and beautiful' (opinion before size often varies but 'big and beautiful' is natural). 'More beautiful and big' is awkward. 'There are so many facilities are available' repeats the verb and is incorrect; use 'many facilities are available' or 'there are many facilities available.' 'Gym equipments' is uncountable: use 'gym equipment.' 'Greenery' is acceptable but 'green spaces' is clearer. Use commas and conjunctions properly. Suggestion: 'It's a very big and beautiful park, and many facilities are available, such as gym equipment and green spaces.'