公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be clear and concise. Start with a direct topic sentence about liking parks, then give 1–2 specific supporting details using correct tense and vocabulary. Avoid repetition and irrelevant phrases (e.g., “Sir”, numbers like “88”). Use past tense for childhood experiences and link ideas with words like "because" and "so".

範例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child because I often played volleyball there with my friends. We spent hours running around, playing games, and having picnics, so those visits were a highlight of my childhood.

建議: Use present tense and correct verbs; avoid filler words. Give one clear reason why you still go, then add a specific example or activity. Replace awkward phrases like "give me a stressful mind" with "relieves my stress" or "helps me relax". Use linking words such as "because" and "so" to connect ideas.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me relax and relieve stress. For example, I often go with my family to play volleyball and we also sit and talk about childhood memories, which is very relaxing.

建議: Answer the question directly (Yes/No/Maybe) and then explain briefly. Avoid listing park names without clear structure. Use correct grammar for people visiting (e.g., "many people visit"). Be specific about why more parks would be good (e.g., space, recreation, environment).

範例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide space for exercise and family activities. For instance, the Fish Park and National Park attract many visitors, and adding smaller neighborhood parks would make outdoor space more accessible.

建議: Give a clear, concise plan using future tense and correct verb forms. State which park and one specific reason you want to visit (wildlife, scenery, animals). Avoid repeating phrases and mentioning unrelated details. Use linking words like "because" and "for example" appropriately.

範例: Yes, I would like to visit the wildlife park in the future because I want to see native animals and enjoy the natural scenery. For example, a friend recently visited and recommended the guided tours, so I plan to go next year.

× Yes, I like going to park as a child because I will spend a lot of time with my friend and playing a playing a volleyball with my friend in the childhood and I will board excited to complete my work and study Sir and I will also 88 of us and always playing the volleyball in the ground.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks as a child because I spent a lot of time with my friends and played volleyball with them in my childhood. I was excited to finish my homework and study, and we were always playing volleyball on the ground.

The student used present and future tense forms (like, will spend, will board, will also) when describing past habitual actions. The question asks about childhood, so past tense is required. Also singular/plural and verb form issues were corrected (park -> parks; friend -> friends; playing -> played). Suggestions: use past simple for past habits (liked, spent, played, was), and ensure nouns match plurality (parks, friends).

× Yes, I like still going to parks because it give me a stressful, stressful mind and give happiness and I will going to with my family and friends.

✓ Yes, I still like going to parks because it relieves my stress and makes me happy, and I go there with my family and friends.

The student mixed present simple and incorrect verb forms (like still going, give, will going). For current habits use present simple (I still like, it relieves, I go). Also 'stressful mind' is unnatural; 'relieves my stress' or 'reduces stress' is correct. Remove redundant words and correct subject-verb agreement (it gives -> it relieves).

× I spend a lot of time with my family and uh, always, uh, tell our childhood memories and always, uh, playing volleyball with my family and friends.

✓ I spend a lot of time with my family and always talk about our childhood memories and play volleyball with my family and friends.

The sentence improperly mixes base verbs and -ing forms (tell ... playing) and uses present continuous incorrectly. For habitual actions use base verbs with present simple (talk, play). Remove filler sounds (uh) and keep parallel structure (talk about ... and play ...).

× A lot of according to my point of view, a lot of parks in my city like National Park and White Light Park and Hindustani Park is my city.

✓ In my opinion, there are many parks in my city, such as National Park, White Light Park, and Hindustani Park.

Original sentence is ungrammatical and redundant ('A lot of according to my point of view'). It also misuses 'is my city' and lacks 'there are' for existence. Use a clear opinion phrase and 'there are' plus a list introduced by 'such as'. Ensure subject-verb agreement with plural 'parks' and use commas for the list.

× It is very famous, famous park in my city, the most famous park is the fish park.

✓ They are very famous parks in my city; the most famous park is the Fish Park.

The student repeated 'famous' unnecessarily and used singular/plural inconsistently. Use plural 'parks' when referring to multiple parks. Proper names like 'Fish Park' are capitalized and 'the' is appropriate before 'most famous park'.

× A lot of people are visited in this park and tourism also come to this park.

✓ A lot of people visit this park and tourists also come to this park.

The phrase 'are visited' is passive and incorrect here; use active present simple 'visit' for habitual actions. 'Tourism' is the activity; use 'tourists' for people. Also ensure verb agreement with plural subject (tourists come).

× Yes, Sir, I going to the wildlife park because it is a very beautiful place.

✓ Yes, Sir, I want to go to the wildlife park because it is a very beautiful place.

'I going to' is missing auxiliary and is ungrammatical. The student likely meant intention or desire; use 'I want to go' or 'I am going to go'. For a future plan 'I plan to go' or 'I am going to visit' would also work. Keep tense consistent with the future intention.

× A lot of tourism are a lot of tourism are visitors to this place.

✓ Many tourists visit this place.

The original is repetitive and uses 'tourism' incorrectly as a count noun and repeats the phrase. Use 'tourists' (count noun) and correct verb form 'visit'. Keep sentence concise and avoid repetition.

× For example, my friend Bishop is also going to this park, so that's why I'm going to.

✓ For example, my friend Bishop also goes to this park, so I want to go too.

The clause 'so that's why I'm going to' is incomplete and ungrammatical. Use a complete verb phrase ('I want to go too' or 'I will go too'). Also match tense: if stating a habitual action use 'goes'; for desire use 'want to go'. This correction makes the relationship clear and grammatically complete.