公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be concise and use correct tense. Start with a clear topic sentence in the past tense, then add one specific supporting detail. Avoid repetition and filler words (e.g., "umm", repeating phrases). Use linking words like "and" or "because" to connect ideas.

範例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks when I was a child. I often went with my friends, and we loved playing on the slides because they were fast and exciting.

建議: Use present tense and correct verbs. Give a clear topic sentence about current preference, then one specific reason. Remove redundant words and repeat words, and use a linking word such as "because" or "so" to explain.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, especially water parks, because they offer many different rides and a fun atmosphere that helps me relax.

建議: Answer directly with a clear opinion (yes/no) and explain briefly with specific reasons. Use correct articles and numbers, and avoid awkward phrasing. Use linking words like "because" or "so" to support your view.

範例: Not really. I think having three or four good parks in the city is enough because they are easier to maintain and everyone can access them.

建議: Provide a clear topic sentence about the future desire, use correct grammar for expressions of desire (e.g., "I would like to visit"). Be specific (name the park, why you want to go) and avoid repetition. Use linking words like "because" to give reasons.

範例: Yes. I would like to visit a large water park in Toronto because it is one of the biggest in Canada and has many exciting rides and attractions that I have never tried.

× Yes, I like going to parks as a child when I was a when I was a child, I love to go parks with my friends. Umm, especially on the slide.

✓ When I was a child, I liked going to parks. I loved going to parks with my friends, especially to play on the slide.

The sentence mixes present tense ('like', 'love') with past time reference ('when I was a child'). Use past tense for habits in the past: 'liked' and 'loved'. Also 'go parks' is missing the preposition 'to' or a gerund; 'play on the slide' is clearer. Suggestion: use past simple for past routines and include necessary prepositions.

× Yes, I still allowed to go back, especially water the parks because it's it's a wonderful experience in water theme park with so many rides.

✓ Yes, I am still allowed to go back, especially to water parks, because it's a wonderful experience at a water theme park with so many rides.

The original omits the correct form of the verb 'to be' with 'allowed' (passive modal-like construction): use 'am allowed'. Also 'water the parks' has incorrect word order and missing prepositions; use 'to water parks' or 'to the water park' and 'at a water theme park' for location. Remove duplicate 'it's it's'.

× I'm not that much person who loves so many parts. I just want to be 3 or 4 parks in a city which every can everyone can go.

✓ I'm not the kind of person who loves many parks. I think 3 or 4 parks in a city are enough for everyone to visit.

Problems: wrong pronoun/phrase 'that much person' should be 'the kind of person'; 'so many parts' is incorrect word choice ('parks' intended). 'Which every can everyone can go' is ungrammatical pronoun and word order; use 'for everyone to visit'. Also subject-verb agreement: '3 or 4 parks ... are enough'. Use clearer quantifier.

× Yes, umm, there is a water park in Toronto that I love to go, which is one of the largest park in Canada and that is one of my dream to go there and it has very large, right. That was one of my dream.

✓ Yes, there is a water park in Toronto that I would love to visit. It is one of the largest parks in Canada and visiting it is one of my dreams.

Multiple issues: 'love to go' with present preference should be 'would love to visit' for future intention. 'One of the largest park' requires plural 'parks'. 'One of my dream' should be 'one of my dreams'. Remove 'it has very large, right' which is unclear; instead state the park is large. Use consistent tense and correct articles/plurals.