公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more grammatically accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g., “park/parks” used repeatedly) and incorrect tense/forms (use past tense for childhood).

範例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, I often played football and climbed trees with my friends there, which made those afternoons both fun and peaceful.

建議: Use present simple for current habits and correct phrasing. Begin with a direct topic sentence, then give concise, specific reasons using linking words (e.g., “because”, “so”). Remove redundant sentences and fix prepositions (say ‘go there’ not ‘go to there’).

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they are peaceful and good for exercise. For instance, I usually visit a nearby park on weekends to jog and meet friends, which helps me relax.

建議: Give a clear opinion then two concise, specific reasons. Correct grammar (countable nouns, verb agreement) and avoid repeating the same phrase. Use linking words like “because” and “so” but only once to keep sentences natural.

範例: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because they offer safe play areas for children and peaceful green spaces for older people. For example, a new park near my neighborhood would encourage families to spend time outdoors and improve air quality.

建議: Be specific about which parks and why. Use correct expressions (e.g., “in the future” and “famous national parks such as…”). Avoid vague phrases like “many several” and awkward connectors like “despite of this.” Use one topic sentence and one or two supporting details with examples.

範例: Yes, I hope to visit several national parks in the future, such as [Park Name], because I want to see wildlife and scenic mountains. I would also like to explore local botanical gardens to learn more about native plants.

× Definitely yes. I like to go to parks during my childhood because I found park a very enjoyable and peaceful place and I play with all my friends in the park.

✓ Definitely yes. I liked going to parks during my childhood because I found the park a very enjoyable and peaceful place and I played with all my friends in the park.

The speaker refers to childhood, a past time, so verbs should be in the past tense (liked, found, played). Also 'the park' requires the definite article. Use past simple for completed past habits: 'liked going', 'played'. Suggestions: change present verbs to past when talking about childhood and include 'the' before 'park' when referring to a specific place.

× Definitely, as I like to go to parks nowadays because I found the park a very peaceful and fun place.

✓ Definitely, as I like to go to parks nowadays because I find the park a very peaceful and fun place.

The sentence mixes present habitual 'like' with past 'found'. When describing a current opinion use present simple consistently: 'find'. Keep tense consistent: 'I like' and 'I find'. Suggestion: use present simple for current habits and opinions.

× Whenever I'm free, I go to there.

✓ Whenever I'm free, I go there.

The preposition 'to' is unnecessary with the adverb 'there'. Use either 'go there' or 'go to the park'. Suggestion: remove 'to' or specify the place: 'go to the park'.

× I go there, enjoy my time and play with others in the park.

✓ I go there, enjoy my time, and play with others in the park.

This sentence is grammatically fine in tense but needs a serial comma for clarity and parallelism: verbs in present simple list ongoing habits. Ensure comma before 'and' for clarity in series. Suggestion: keep verbs parallel and punctuate list clearly.

× Of course I would like to see more parks in my city because parks are basic necessity of every city because it provide a very good environment for children as well as it is very relaxing and peaceful place for elder ones.

✓ Of course I would like to see more parks in my city because parks are a basic necessity of every city; they provide a very good environment for children and are very relaxing and peaceful places for older people.

Multiple problems: missing article 'a' before 'basic necessity', subject-verb agreement 'provide' must match plural 'parks' or use 'they provide', 'it is very relaxing' mismatches singular/plural and 'elder ones' is unnatural — use 'older people'. Also run-on sentence: split or use punctuation. Use plural 'places' to match parks. Suggestion: add articles, correct agreement by using 'they provide', use natural phrase 'older people', and fix sentence structure.

× Yes, there are a number of parks I want to go in the future.

✓ Yes, there are a number of parks I want to go to in the future.

The verb phrase 'want to go' requires the preposition 'to' when specifying destination: 'go to a park'. Insert 'to' after 'go'. Suggestion: use 'go to' for destinations.

× It includes various national parks which are famous in my country.

✓ They include various national parks that are famous in my country.

Subject reference: 'It includes' is incorrect when referring to 'a number of parks' (plural) — use 'they include'. Also use 'that' for defining relative clauses. Ensure subject agreement: plural subject with plural verb. Suggestion: make verb agree with plural subject and use 'that' or 'which' appropriately (use 'that' for essential clauses).

× Despite of this, there are many several other parks which I would like to go in the future.

✓ Despite this, there are several other parks which I would like to go to in the future.

Use 'despite' without 'of'. 'Many several' is redundant — choose 'several' or 'many'. As above, 'go to' needs 'to'. Suggestion: use 'Despite this', remove redundancy, and include 'to' after 'go'.