公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Cần cải thiện ngữ pháp cơ bản, trật tự từ và loại bỏ từ thừa để câu tự nhiên hơn. Hãy mở đầu trực tiếp trả lời (Yes/No + topic sentence), sau đó cung cấp 1-2 chi tiết cụ thể về nơi và hoạt động, dùng liên từ đơn giản (e.g., and, so, because) để kết nối ý. Tránh lặp từ và lỗi thì (was/used to).

範例: Yes, I did. Although it wasn't a formal park, there was a green area beside a big high school near my house. After classes, my friends and I used to go there to play traditional games, and we often spent a couple of hours running around and chatting.

建議: Cần sửa lỗi ngữ pháp (thì và số ít/những từ như 'places'), sắp xếp câu rõ ràng: nêu trực tiếp câu trả lời, giải thích nguyên nhân ngắn gọn và cung cấp một ví dụ cụ thể. Tránh lặp từ và sử dụng thì nhất quán (present/past).

範例: I still enjoy going to parks. After my family moved for my father's job, I couldn't visit playgrounds as often, but now I usually walk in the nearby park every weekend. These walks help me relax and clear my mind after a busy week.

建議: Cần trả lời rõ ràng (Yes/No/balanced) và tổ chức ý: nêu quan điểm chính, đưa lý do 1-2 câu kèm liên từ (because, however). Chú ý từ vựng đúng (e.g., 'parks' not 'parts', 'amount'→'number' or 'many'), và tránh tiếng lóng/tiếng nói lúng túng như 'umm'.

範例: I have mixed feelings about that. On one hand, more parks would provide people with places to relax and exercise, which is beneficial. However, I worry that constructing many new parks could harm the environment if it's not done carefully.

建議: Cần trả lời cụ thể về địa điểm mong muốn và miêu tả ngắn gọn lí do với từ vựng chính xác (countries, France not French, lakes not 'poor lake'). Tránh lỗi ngữ pháp và dùng cấu trúc đơn giản, rõ ràng. Nên nêu ví dụ cụ thể một công viên hoặc một đặc điểm bạn muốn thấy.

範例: Yes, I'd love to visit parks in Europe, especially in Italy and France. For example, I would like to see Villa Borghese in Rome because of its beautiful gardens and lakes, and parks in the south of France for their vibrant scenery and peaceful walking paths.

× I think yes, but is was not a really a real park.

✓ I think yes, but it was not really a park.

The sentence has incorrect article usage and a typo 'is was'. Use 'it' to refer to the park and remove the extra article 'a' before 'real park'. In Vietnamese: Câu này có lỗi về mạo từ và lỗi chính tả 'is was'. Nên dùng 'it' để chỉ công viên và bỏ mạo từ thừa 'a' trước 'real park'.

× It's like just was a part of a big high school which nearby my house.

✓ It was just part of a big high school near my house.

The original order is awkward and 'which nearby my house' is ungrammatical. Use 'near my house' as the correct prepositional phrase and remove unnecessary words. In Vietnamese: Câu này có cấu trúc lộn xộn và 'which nearby my house' sai ngữ pháp. Dùng 'near my house' và lược bỏ từ không cần thiết.

× I remember when I was a kid, after my school day, I always together with my friends went to that school for to play some traditional games.

✓ I remember that when I was a kid, after school I always went to that school with my friends to play some traditional games.

Word order and unnecessary words: 'always together with my friends went' should be 'I always went ... with my friends'; 'for to play' is incorrect, use 'to play'. Also 'after my school day' is more naturally 'after school'. In Vietnamese: Lỗi về trật tự từ và từ thừa: chuyển thành 'I always went ... with my friends' và dùng 'to play' thay vì 'for to play', 'after school' tự nhiên hơn.

× Because my family have to move to a new places for my dad's sake of job, so I didn't have any chance to go to the playground anymore.

✓ Because my family had to move to a new place for my dad's job, I didn't have any chance to go to the playground anymore.

Subject-verb agreement and article/plural: 'family' as a unit takes singular verb 'had' (past), 'a new places' is wrong—use 'a new place' or 'new places'. Remove redundant 'so' after 'Because' and simplify 'for my dad's job'. In Vietnamese: Lỗi về việc chia động từ với 'family', mạo từ và số nhiều: dùng 'had' cho gia đình như một chủ thể, 'a new place' thay vì 'a new places', và loại bỏ 'so' thừa.

× But instead in every at every weekends I usually go for work in the park which is nearby my house and I find I found that that activities really helped me wind down.

✓ Instead, every weekend I usually go to the park near my house for work, and I find that those activities really help me wind down.

Tense consistency: use present simple 'go' and 'find' with 'every weekend'. Fix prepositions: 'go to the park' and 'near my house'. Use 'those activities' (plural) and present 'help' for habitual action. Remove duplicate words. In Vietnamese: Cần nhất quán thì hiện tại đơn cho thói quen, sửa giới từ 'go to the park', dùng 'those activities' và 'help' hiện tại, và loại bỏ từ lặp.

× I think that is amount should be minimized.

✓ I think the number should be limited.

'Amount' is for uncountable nouns; for countable things like parks use 'number'. 'Should be minimized' is awkward for countable items; 'limited' is more natural. In Vietnamese: 'Amount' dùng cho danh từ không đếm được; với công viên phải dùng 'number', và 'limited' tự nhiên hơn 'minimized'.

× Like OK, I agree that if people have more places to relax it's gonna be a really good umm thing for them, but if the government invest in building a lot of parts is gonna have a really negative impact on the environment due to the process of building them.

✓ I agree that if people have more places to relax, it would be very good for them, but if the government invests in building a lot of parks, it would have a very negative impact on the environment because of the construction process.

Modal/tense and subject-verb agreement: Use conditional 'would' for hypothetical result and 'invests' for third person singular. 'Gonna' is informal; use 'would'. 'Parts' is wrong word; use 'parks'. 'Due to the process of building them' is better as 'because of the construction process'. In Vietnamese: Cần chia động từ đúng cho ngôi thứ ba 'invests', dùng 'would' cho điều kiện, tránh 'gonna', sửa 'parts' thành 'parks' và diễn đạt tự nhiên hơn cho 'because of the construction process'.

× I'd love to go to some in the country that love to travel one day, for example European countries.

✓ I'd love to travel to some countries one day, for example European countries.

Unclear and redundant phrasing: 'go to some in the country that love to travel' is ungrammatical. Use 'travel to some countries' to express desire. In Vietnamese: Cấu trúc mơ hồ và thừa từ; nên nói 'travel to some countries' để rõ ý.

× I always see a lot of video on social platform that display the beauty of the park in European country such as Italy or French which are surrounded by stunning and vibrant scenery in the poor lake.

✓ I always see a lot of videos on social platforms that show the beauty of parks in European countries such as Italy or France, which are surrounded by stunning and vibrant scenery near the lakes.

Plural and article errors: 'video' -> 'videos', 'social platform' -> 'social platforms'. 'Display' -> 'show' or 'display' with correct subject-verb agreement. 'European country such as Italy or French' should be 'European countries such as Italy or France'. 'Poor lake' likely wrong; use 'lakes' and 'near the lakes' or 'by the lakes' depending on meaning. In Vietnamese: Sửa số nhiều và mạo từ, dùng 'videos' và 'social platforms', 'France' thay 'French', và sửa cụm 'poor lake' thành 'lakes' hoặc 'near the lakes' để ý nghĩa rõ ràng.