公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more grammatically accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, avoid filler words (uh, you know), and limit to 2–4 sentences. Add a specific detail or short example about activities you did to make the answer vivid.

範例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. After school I would often go there with my friends to play cricket or climb the trees, which helped me relax and stop feeling bored. Those afternoons were my favourite part of the day.

建議: Use present tense correctly and make ideas coherent with linking words. Replace vague phrases with clearer reasons and give one specific example of what you do now in a park. Keep to 2–4 sentences.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, but my purpose has changed. Nowadays I usually sit on a bench and read or watch children play because it helps me relax and clear my mind after work.

建議: Make your stance clear and consistent (present tense). Avoid repetition and filler words. Provide a concise reason and a specific comparison if possible. Use one linking word to structure your sentence.

範例: I don't think we need many more parks in Chandigarh because the city already has numerous well-maintained green spaces compared with nearby cities. However, a few small community gardens in new neighbourhoods would still be useful.

建議: Be specific about the park and why you want to visit it. Remove fillers and vague phrases; give one or two concrete reasons (features, activities, atmosphere) and end with a concise future plan phrase.

範例: Yes, I would like to visit a popular park in Delhi I saw on Instagram because it has impressive landscaping and interactive fountains. I'm planning to go there next year when I visit Delhi to see the design and take photos.

× I love going to park when I was a child because after coming from school I feel so bored and uh, I don't like to be sitting idle.

✓ I loved going to the park when I was a child because after coming home from school I felt very bored and I didn't like sitting idle.

Tense consistency: The sentence mixes present tense verbs (love, feel, don't like) with a past time reference 'when I was a child'. Change verbs to past tense (loved, felt, didn't like) to match the past context. Also use 'the park' (see next entry) and 'coming home' is more natural than 'coming from school' in this context. Suggestion: Keep time references and verb tenses consistent; when referring to past habits, use past simple (e.g., 'I loved', 'I felt').

× I love going to park when I was a child because after coming from school I feel so bored and uh, I don't like to be sitting idle.

✓ I loved going to the park when I was a child because after coming home from school I felt very bored and I didn't like sitting idle.

Missing definite article: In English, 'park' usually requires an article. Use 'the park' when referring to parks in general as a known place you go to. Also 'going to the park' is the idiomatic expression. Suggestion: Use 'the' before 'park' when talking about a specific or habitual place you visited (e.g., 'going to the park').

× So what I want to always do that time was I want to go to park and I want to spend time in playing there and with, uh, you know, my friend.

✓ So what I always wanted to do at that time was go to the park and spend time playing there with my friends.

Incorrect verb forms and word order: The sentence uses present tense 'want' and awkward constructions ('spend time in playing'). For past habitual actions, use past tense 'wanted' and the correct structure 'spend time playing'. Also 'my friend' should be plural if referring to spending time with friends often; use 'my friends' or 'a friend' depending on meaning. 'At that time' is the correct phrase. Suggestion: Use 'wanted' for past habits and the gerund without 'in' after 'spend time' (e.g., 'spend time playing').

× Of course I still like go to parks, but that has been a quite different from then and now.

✓ Of course I still like going to parks, but it is quite different now compared to then.

Verb form and tense consistency: 'like go' is ungrammatical; use 'like going'. 'Has been a quite different from then and now' is awkward and mixes tenses. Use 'it is quite different now compared to then' to show contrast between past and present. Suggestion: Use gerund after 'like' and a clear comparative phrase ('different now compared to then').

× Those times I was a very small kid so I don't know about, I don't know what this park for, but nowadays park is for my peace.

✓ Back then I was a very small child so I didn't know what parks were for, but nowadays the park is a place of peace for me.

Sentence structure and tense issues: 'Those times' is unnatural; use 'Back then'. Mix of past and present tenses and incorrect word order ('what this park for'). Use past simple 'didn't know' and proper question-like structure 'what parks were for'. Also add 'the' before 'park' and rephrase 'for my peace' as 'a place of peace for me' for clarity. Suggestion: Use 'back then' for past reference, past simple for past states, and correct noun phrases ('the park' or 'parks').

× I just go and sit and absorb the small kids.

✓ I just go and sit and watch the small kids play.

Incorrect verb choice: 'absorb the small kids' is incorrect; 'watch' or 'observe' is appropriate. Also include 'play' to clarify what the kids are doing. Maintain present simple if talking about a habitual present action. Suggestion: Use 'watch' or 'observe' instead of 'absorb', and add a verb describing the kids' action ('play').

× They play and it's needed for me.

✓ They play and it helps me relax.

Awkward expression and tense: 'it's needed for me' is unnatural. Use a present simple result phrase like 'it helps me relax' to express the benefit you get from watching them play. Suggestion: Use natural English expressions to show purpose or benefit (e.g., 'it helps me relax', 'it calms me').

× Of course I wanted to see a more parks in my city.

✓ Of course I would like to see more parks in my city.

Wrong tense and article: 'wanted' implies past desire but the question asks about present opinion; use 'would like' or 'want'. 'a more parks' is ungrammatical; say 'more parks' without 'a'. Suggestion: Use 'would like' for polite present desires and omit 'a' before 'more parks'.

× So my city is Chandigarh, which is a very good city.

✓ My city is Chandigarh, which is a very nice city.

Style and article: The original is grammatical but slightly repetitive. 'A very good city' is acceptable; 'a very nice city' is more natural in conversation. No article change required here, but streamlining improves fluency. Suggestion: Prefer concise, natural adjectives ('nice' or 'pleasant').

× And uh, I think still there is a more park compared to other cities here.

✓ And I think there are still more parks here compared to other cities.

Subject-verb agreement and article use: 'there is a more park' is incorrect. Use plural 'parks' and 'there are' to match. Place 'still' before 'more parks' or after 'think' for natural order. Suggestion: Use 'there are' with plural nouns and correct word order ('there are still more parks here').

× So eventually I don't think, uh, any need of more parks that has to be built in our, uh, city.

✓ So I don't think there is any need to build more parks in our city.

Word order and structure: The original mixes fragments and incorrect phrases ('any need of more parks that has to be built'). Use the clearest structure 'there is any need to build more parks'. Use infinitive 'to build' for purpose. Suggestion: Use 'there is no need to' or 'I don't think we need to build more parks' for clarity and naturalness.

× Uh, yeah, There is a park which is located in Delhi and I have seen in Instagram that it is very quite popular and you know, people tend to go there and it is very different from other parks which are present.

✓ Yes, there is a park located in Delhi that I saw on Instagram; it is quite popular and people tend to go there. It is very different from other parks.

Article and phrasing: 'seen in Instagram' should be 'saw on Instagram'. 'Very quite popular' is redundant; use 'quite popular' or 'very popular'. 'Which are present' is unnecessary; simply say 'other parks'. Also capitalize 'there' incorrectly; fix punctuation and sentence division. Suggestion: Use 'on Instagram', avoid redundant modifiers, and simplify relative clauses ('other parks').

× So I need to go there.

✓ So I want to go there.

Modal/tense nuance: 'need to go there' suggests obligation, but the intended meaning is desire or plan. Use 'want to' or 'plan to'. Suggestion: Choose verbs that reflect intention ('want to', 'plan to', 'intend to') rather than obligation unless that is intended.

× I'm planning to go to the park in the future. Let's see.

✓ I'm planning to go to that park in the future. Let's see.

Demonstrative clarity: The sentence is grammatically fine; adding 'that' clarifies which park is meant (the Delhi park mentioned earlier). 'Let's see' is conversational and acceptable. Suggestion: Use 'that park' for coherence when referring back to a specific place.