公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using correct tenses and possessives. Use linking words like "because" correctly and avoid repetition.

範例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child because they were peaceful and full of trees. For example, I used to play on the swings with my friends and have picnics with my family, which left me with many happy memories.

建議: Give one clear reason and support it with a specific detail. Correct grammar (possessives, articles) and avoid repetition. Use linking words like "because" and "for example" to connect ideas.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they remind me of childhood and help me relax. For example, I often walk among the trees to clear my mind and get fresh air, which improves my mood and health.

建議: Answer directly, give a specific reason and one supporting example. Use correct plural forms and articles, and link sentences logically (e.g., "because", "for example"). Avoid vague claims like "improvement in our country" without explanation.

範例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide safe places for children and older people to exercise. For example, adding small neighborhood parks would give families a nearby outdoor space for walking, play, and community events.

建議: State the park clearly and give one or two specific reasons why. Use correct verb forms and avoid vague phrases like "etcetera." Link ideas with words like "because" and "for example." Be specific about what you expect to see or learn.

範例: Yes, in the future I would like to visit Delhi National Park because I want to see wildlife and learn about local ecosystems. For example, I hope to observe deer and various birds, walk through the forest trails, and learn about conservation efforts.

× Yes, I did like going Park as a child because their memories are very interesting and that is was very beautiful.

✓ Yes, I did like going to parks as a child because the memories were very interesting and it was very beautiful.

Multiple errors: missing preposition before 'Park' (should be 'to parks') is a preposition error but primarily third person and verb form errors: 'their memories are' incorrectly uses plural possessive for unspecified memories; change to 'the memories were' for past tense; 'that is was very beautiful' mixes present and past ('is' and 'was') and incorrect pronoun—use 'it was very beautiful'. Also use plural 'parks' or 'the park(s)' consistently. Suggestion: use 'going to parks' or 'going to the park' and keep verbs in past tense when speaking about childhood (were, was).

× Yes, I like going Park now because many my memories attach with Park and Park is a very beautiful place.

✓ Yes, I like going to parks now because many of my memories are associated with parks and a park is a very beautiful place.

Errors: missing preposition 'to' after 'going' and missing preposition 'of' in 'many of my memories'. 'Attach with' is incorrect collocation; use 'are associated with' or 'are attached to'. Also article use: 'Park is a very beautiful place' should be 'a park is a very beautiful place' or 'parks are very beautiful places'. Maintain present simple tense 'I like'.

× There is a very green and green everywhere for good, healthy for our health.

✓ There is a lot of greenery everywhere, which is good and healthy for our health.

Original sentence is ungrammatical and repetitive ('green and green'). Use noun 'greenery' or adjective phrase 'a lot of green'. Also 'for good, healthy for our health' is awkward and redundant; rephrase to 'which is good and healthy for our health' or simply 'which is good for our health'.

× Yes, I would like more park in my city because this is well everyone and park is a good place for everyone, child and old person.

✓ Yes, I would like more parks in my city because they are good for everyone; parks are good places for children and older people.

Errors: 'more park' should be 'more parks' (quantifier with countable noun). 'this is well everyone' is meaningless—replace with 'they are good for everyone'. 'child and old person' incorrect forms and singular; use plural 'children and older people' or 'children and elderly people'. Keep consistent plural forms when speaking generally about parks.

× So I would like more park in my city. This is improvement in our country.

✓ So I would like more parks in my city. This would be an improvement for our country.

'more park' should be 'more parks' (plural). 'This is improvement' missing article and wrong tense; use 'This would be an improvement' or 'This is an improvement'. Also use 'for our country' rather than 'in our country' when describing benefit. Modal 'would' fits polite/ hypothetical tone.

× Yes, in future I want go to Delhi National Park because this is my dream.

✓ Yes, in the future I want to go to Delhi National Park because this is my dream.

Missing 'to' after 'want' ('want to go') and missing article 'the' before 'future' ('in the future'). Also 'Delhi National Park' may need 'the' if a specific park name uses it optionally; keep 'to Delhi National Park'. Maintain present simple for 'want' when stating plans.

× I see all wild animal, I connected with the wild animal and wildlife.

✓ I want to see all wild animals; I feel connected to wild animals and wildlife.

'I see' is present simple incorrectly used for future intention—use 'want to see' or 'would like to see' or rephrase. 'all wild animal' should be plural 'all wild animals'. 'I connected with' is past tense and wrong form; use 'I feel connected to' or 'I am connected with' to express ongoing connection. Use preposition 'to' not 'with' for 'connected to' (both possible but 'connected to' is common).

× I see animals and their old cultures and I like trees and etcetera.

✓ I want to see animals and their ancient cultures, and I like trees, etc.

Again 'I see' should be 'I want to see' for intended future visit. 'old cultures' is better expressed as 'ancient cultures' or 'traditional cultures'. Use comma before 'etc.' and avoid 'and etcetera' (redundant). Also 'animals and their ancient cultures' may need clearer meaning; if referring to habitats or traditional human cultures associated with animals, rephrase for clarity.