公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 回答需要更自然、句子更简洁并且注意时态一致。尽量用一到两句话作为主题句，然后用一到两句具体细节支持，避免重复（比如“ride a bike”“riding bike”“ride bicycling”重复）。注意代词和动词形式（如“I usually went”改为“I usually went”或“I used to go”之一）。

範例: Yes, I did. I used to go to the park with my friends to ride bikes and have snacks. We would plan when to meet, bring refreshments to share, and sometimes visit each other’s houses to rest after cycling.

建議: 回答要更有逻辑，避免语法错误和词汇混用（例如“go to party”应为“go to the park”）。用清晰的主题句说明现在的情况，然后用连接词（because, so, but）衔接理由。减少犹豫词（uh）和重复。

範例: Yes, I still like going to parks, but now I usually go alone because my friends are often busy. I go there to relax and jog, and I rarely ride a bike anymore because it tires me and I don’t own a suitable bike.

建議: 表达要更准确，句子更连贯。注意主谓一致和词序（如“the government places great emphasis on urban construction”）。用具体理由支持观点（例如改善空气质量、增加休闲空间），并用连接词连接观点与结果。

範例: Yes, I would. The government is focusing on urban development, so adding more parks would provide people with green spaces to relax and exercise. More parks would also improve air quality and help protect the environment.

建議: 回答应更简洁并修正词汇与语法错误（如“last summer holiday”改为“last summer”或“during last summer holiday”）。提供一到两条具体原因说明想去该公园（如景点、活动、氛围），并用连词使叙述更顺畅。

範例: Yes, I would like to visit Shenzhen Citizen Park. My friend told me it’s large and popular, with many people, open lawns for picnics and places to relax. If I go, I’d spend the day there with friends, sharing snacks and enjoying the atmosphere.

× I usually go to the park with my friend because I really like ride a bike when I was a child.

✓ I usually went to the park with my friend because I really liked riding a bike when I was a child.

句中时态不一致且动词形式错误。主句描述过去习惯应使用过去时（went/liked），动词“like”后接动名词形式“riding”。建议将主句和从句都改为过去时，并把“ride a bike”改为“riding a bike”。

× We always discuss when we will go to the park and riding bike and ride bicycling and also we will talk about what would you what would you like to eat?

✓ We always discussed when we would go to the park, riding our bikes, and we would talk about what we would like to eat.

句子混合时态和结构重复造成主谓不一致与语序混乱。把动词统一为过去时（discussed/would），并使用并列结构“riding our bikes”替代重复词语，疑问句改为间接引语“what we would like to eat”。

× So we will bring the refreshments to the park and share with each other.

✓ So we would bring refreshments to the park and share them with each other.

“share with each other”可以，但更自然的是“share them with each other”。此外上下文为过去习惯，用过去时或过去将来时更合适，故用“would bring”。

× And also I remember I always go to the my I. Always went to my friends houses because I feel very tired.

✓ I remember I always went to my friends' houses because I felt very tired.

原句结构混乱，有多余词“the my I”且时态应为过去时。将句子合并为一句，使用过去时“went/felt”，并把“friends houses”改为所有格“friends' houses”。

× After that I will go go return to my.

✓ After that I would return to my house.

原句缺少完整宾语且有重复“go go”。根据上下文为过去习惯，使用“would return”更自然，并补全宾语“house”。

× Yes, of course, I really go to the park by myself because the many people are busy now, even though we are friends, every people need to pay more attention on their life.

✓ Yes, of course, I often go to the park by myself because many people are busy now. Even though we are friends, everyone needs to pay more attention to their own lives.

“really go”不自然，改为“often go”。“the many people”多余定冠词，改为“many people”。“every people”应为“everyone”。介词搭配“pay attention to”不是“on”，并补上“own lives”。

× So I really go to party only by myself.

✓ So I really go to the park only by myself.

原句中“party”应为“park”（语义错误，而非量词，但根据列表选择最接近问题类型）；表达独自去公园用“only by myself”可以保留但更自然为“by myself”或“alone”。建议改为“go to the park by myself”。

× I will only take a break on the park and also I will jog jogging or running during.

✓ I would only take a break in the park and also jog or run when I have free time.

动词重复“jog jogging”错误；介词应为“in the park”。根据过去习惯用“would”，并用并列动词“jog or run”，补全时间状语“when I have free time”。

× But actually. I don't always ride the bike as I was a child because I think they're too tired and also I don't have a bike suit for me, uh, and also I think that is very good if I have time.

✓ But actually, I don't always ride a bike like I did as a child because I find it too tiring, and I don't have a bike that fits me. I would like to if I have time.

原句时态和表达混乱。“as I was a child”应为“like I did as a child”。“they're too tired”指代不明，应为“it’s too tiring”或“I find it too tiring”。“a bike suit for me”表达错误，应为“a bike that fits me”。最后一句用“would like to if I have time”更自然。

× nowadays the government's very pay very emphasize on building city, so many people can find that the park is the park qualities.

✓ Nowadays the government places great emphasis on building the city, so many people notice the improved quality of parks.

动词搭配错误，“government's very pay very emphasize on”不合语法，改为“government places great emphasis on”。“building city”应为“building the city”。“park is the park qualities”毫无意义，改为“the improved quality of parks”。

× There are more nature park, and also it give extra spaces for people to relax them, and also it is very useful way to protect our environment.

✓ There are more natural parks, and they also give extra space for people to relax, and they are a useful way to protect our environment.

“nature park”应为形容词“natural parks”。“give extra spaces”改为不可数“give extra space”。“relax them”错误，应该是“for people to relax”。句子主语需一致，使用“they”。

× So I. If you can set more nature park not only good at people health but also good at protecting our environment.

✓ So I think if you can set more natural parks, it will not only be good for people's health but also help protect our environment.

句子断裂且结构不完整。把碎片合并为完整的条件句，使用“good for”代替“good at”，并改正形容词“nature”→“natural”。

× I remember my friend went to the Shenzhen Citizen Park when last summer holiday she told me that's a really big and very popular.

✓ I remember my friend went to Shenzhen Citizen Park last summer holiday; she told me it's really big and very popular.

时态与连接词使用不当。把时间状语置于适当位置并用分号连接两部分；报道他人话语用现在时“it's”或过去时均可，但更自然保留原话的现在时。删除多余“the”。

× There are many kind of people and they are also have a very large Swissy to offer people to have a take a break and also they can have a picnic there.

✓ There are many kinds of people and they also have a very large space to offer people a place to take a break; they can also have picnics there.

“many kind of”应为“many kinds of”。“are also have”主谓冲突，改为“also have”。“Swissy”不明，推断为“space”。“have a take a break”冗余，改为“a place to take a break”。“picnic”作名词复数“picnics”。

× So that's really relaxed and very happy when. Sites Shenzhen Park so if I have a chance I want to go there to have a trip and also I want to have a big day with my friend to share our bakery and refreshment and talk with other.

✓ So it's really relaxing and makes people happy when they visit Shenzhen Park. If I have a chance, I want to go there for a trip and have a big day with my friends to share our baked goods and refreshments and talk with others.

句子断裂且用词错误。“relaxed”应为形容人或感受的“relaxing”。“when. Sites Shenzhen Park”无意义，改为“when they visit Shenzhen Park”。“bakery”误用，改为“baked goods”。“refreshment”复数“refreshments”。“talk with other”改为“talk with others”。