公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Reduce hesitations and repeat words, start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Aim for smoother fluency and correct small grammar errors (e.g., "I used to ask my father to take me to the park").

範例: Yes. I used to go to the park every day after my father came home from work. For example, we would meet other children there, and I especially enjoyed playing games like tag and swinging on the playground, which made those visits very memorable.

建議: Give a concise topic sentence, then use linking words to contrast past and present activities (e.g., "however, now"). Provide specific details about current activities and feelings to show range of vocabulary (e.g., "stroll, relax, exercise"). Reduce filler words.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy visiting parks. However, now I prefer walking among the trees and enjoying the flowers rather than playing; for instance, I often take a 30-minute brisk walk to relax and get some exercise while listening to birds.

建議: Begin with a clear opinion sentence, then explain reasons using linking words like "because" or "so". Provide specific suggestions or comparisons (e.g., types of facilities you'd like) to enrich content and show vocabulary variety.

範例: I think our city has many small parks, but I would like to see more large parks because they offer longer walking paths and better facilities. For example, a big park with ponds, shaded trails and seating areas would allow me to exercise and relax more comfortably.

建議: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence, then give a realistic and specific aspiration. Avoid vague absolutes; mention a few examples or types of famous parks to show knowledge and make the answer more concrete.

範例: I don't have a specific park in mind, but I would love to visit famous parks around the world. For instance, I hope to see Central Park in New York, Hyde Park in London, and the gardens of Kyoto, because each offers a different atmosphere and culture.

× I always, uh, contact him to, uh, to go to the park.

✓ I always contact him to go to the park.

The original sentence contains disfluent pauses but grammatically the issue is unnecessary repetition of 'to'. Corrected sentence removes duplicate 'to'. Use the base form 'contact' (present simple) for habitual action. Suggestion: say 'I always contact him to go to the park' or 'I always ask him to go to the park.'

× Uh, the most thing that I like there is to play with other kids.

✓ The main thing I liked there was playing with other kids.

'The most thing' is incorrect; use 'the main thing' or 'what I liked most'. Also tense should match past context ('as a child'), so use past tense 'liked' and gerund 'playing' after 'liked'. Suggestion: use 'what I liked most was playing with other kids.'

× Uh, what I like the most uh, about parks now is uh, the nature, uh, the trees, uh, the flowers, uh, and the smell of the flowers too, uh, but the activity has been changed.

✓ What I like most about parks now is the nature: the trees, the flowers, and their smell, but the activities have changed.

Use 'activities have changed' (plural) to agree with plural subject and present perfect to indicate change over time. 'The nature' is better as 'nature' (no article). 'The smell of the flowers' can be 'their smell' for conciseness. Suggestion: 'What I like most about parks now is nature... but the activities have changed.'

× I like to walk more than play.

✓ I prefer walking to playing.

Comparing activities: use parallel gerund forms or 'prefer X to Y'. Original 'I like to walk more than play' is understandable but uneven. Suggestion: 'I like walking more than playing' or 'I prefer walking to playing.'

× I think we have a lot of parks in our city, but they are very small parks.

✓ I think we have a lot of parks in our city, but they are very small.

Redundant plural noun 'parks' after adjective phrase is acceptable but stylistically repetitive. Better to omit the second 'parks' or use 'small parks' earlier. Suggestion: 'we have a lot of small parks' or the corrected version.

× I hope that I can see different parks, huge parks, so that I can walk more in there.

✓ I hope I can see different, larger parks so that I can walk more there.

Do not use 'in there' with 'walk more'; use 'there'. Also 'huge parks' better as 'larger parks' or 'bigger parks' depending on contrast. 'Different parks, huge parks' is repetitive; combine with a comma. Suggestion: 'see different, larger parks so I can walk more there.'

× Well, there are no certain park that I want to go to, but I hope that I can visit, uh, every park in every country, uh, around the world.

✓ Well, there is no certain park that I want to go to, but I hope I can visit every park in every country around the world.

'No certain park' requires singular agreement with 'is' because 'park' is singular; alternatively use plural 'no certain parks'. Also remove filler pauses and unnecessary commas. 'Hope I can visit every park in every country around the world' is fine. Suggestion: use 'there is no particular park' or 'there are no particular parks'.