公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Give a direct topic sentence, correct grammar (verb forms, articles), remove fillers and provide one clear supporting detail. Use linking words if needed. For example: start with “Yes, I loved going to the park near my house.” then add a reason and a specific detail.

範例: Yes, I loved going to the park near my house because it had a big playground and outdoor classes for children. For example, every Saturday I played on the swings and joined storytelling sessions, which made those visits fun and memorable.

建議: Answer directly, fix verb tense and word order, avoid repetition, and give a specific frequency and one supporting reason. Use a linking word like “but” to contrast.

範例: I rarely go to parks now because I am busy with walking to classes and doing homework, but I try to visit once or twice a month to relax. For instance, I sometimes meet friends there on weekends to chat and unwind.

建議: Give a clear opinion sentence, avoid fillers, use correct plural and article forms, and provide a reason with a specific example. Use linking words like “because” or “for example.”

範例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because green spaces improve residents’ health and community life. For example, adding small parks in residential areas would give children safe places to play and adults places to exercise.

建議: Start with a clear topic sentence naming the park, correct vocabulary (e.g., “Central Park” if you mean it), fix grammar and avoid hesitations. Add a specific reason and one detail about what you would do there.

範例: In the future I want to visit Central Park in New York because it is famous and often featured on social media. I would like to have a picnic there, walk along the lake, and see the city skyline from the park.

× As a child I loved visit nearby my house.

✓ As a child I loved visiting the parks near my house.

The verb 'love' should be followed by a gerund (verb + -ing) when describing an activity you enjoyed. Also 'nearby my house' is unnatural word order and plural 'parks' fits context if there are multiple; reorder to 'the parks near my house.' Use 'visiting' not 'visit.'

× Because there have a lot of UH playground or some a lot of UH classes class.

✓ Because there were a lot of playgrounds and classes.

When stating existence in the past, use 'there were' not 'there have.' Use plural nouns 'playgrounds' and 'classes' to agree with 'a lot of.' Remove filler 'UH' and duplicated words. Simplify to 'a lot of playgrounds and classes.'

× Currently I'm rarely visit the park because I have a lot of to do walk or homework so I don't have the time to visit playground.

✓ Currently I rarely visit the park because I have a lot of work and homework, so I don't have time to go to the playground.

Use base form 'visit' with adverb placement 'rarely' before verb is acceptable but better 'I rarely visit.' 'Have a lot of to do walk' is incorrect — use 'a lot of work' or 'a lot to do.' 'Go to the playground' is the natural collocation. Also include article 'the' before 'playground' if referring to a specific place.

× But I try to sometimes visit program and hang out my friend.

✓ But I sometimes try to visit events and hang out with my friends.

Use natural nouns: 'program' is unclear; 'events' fits. 'Try to sometimes' should be 'sometimes try to' or 'I try sometimes.' For 'hang out' you need 'with' and plural 'friends' if more than one. Also use gerund objects correctly. Reorder for natural English: 'I sometimes try to visit events and hang out with my friends.'

× Absolutely yes, near my house, uh, have the four or five park.

✓ Absolutely yes. Near my house there are four or five parks.

Use 'there are' to indicate existence in present. Plural 'parks' with number. Place 'there are' before the number for natural word order. Remove filler 'uh' and use punctuation to separate ideas.

× Uh, is there just a playground or progress sometimes the in park?

✓ Sometimes the parks only have a playground or just a few facilities.

Sentence structure is confused. 'Progress' is incorrect word here. Use 'have' to indicate possession: 'parks have a playground' or 'only have a playground.' Place adverb 'sometimes' at start for clarity. Use plural 'parks' and 'facilities' for clarity.

× In the future, I want to go to the New York park, uh, because it's very famous in our country and, uh, social media always appear that pork and picnic on that park.

✓ In the future, I want to go to New York because it is very famous in our country, and social media often show people having picnics in its parks.

'New York park' is unclear; likely meant 'New York' or 'a park in New York.' Use 'want to go to New York.' 'Social media always appear that pork and picnic on that park' is incorrect: use 'social media often show people having picnics in its parks.' 'Pork' is wrong word for 'park' or 'people' — clarify to 'people having picnics.' Use 'often' for frequency and present tense 'show.'

× So I want to visit them.

✓ So I want to visit it/them depending on meaning: 'So I want to visit it' (the city) or 'So I want to visit those parks' (the parks).

Pronoun 'them' must agree with the intended antecedent. If referring to 'New York' (singular place) use 'it.' If referring to 'parks' (plural) use 'them.' Make the antecedent clear to choose the correct pronoun.