公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Improve grammar (use correct verb forms and articles), reduce fillers (uh), and make ideas clearer and more specific. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two concise supporting details using linking words. Replace vague phrases (e.g. "show things about what we have in school") with concrete examples and correct word choice.

範例: Yes. I loved going to parks when I was a child because I often played there with my friends. For example, we used the swings and played hide-and-seek, and sometimes we would show each other our school projects. Those visits made me feel happy and energetic.

建議: Use a clear topic sentence and fewer hesitations. Give a brief reason and specific routine details using linking words. Correct article usage (“go to the park”), and avoid repeating ideas.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to the park. Although I have fewer friends now, I usually go for a walk there after lunch or dinner to relax and get some exercise.

建議: Make your opinion concise and support it with specific reasons and suggestions. Fix vocabulary errors (e.g. "UMM" unclear, "perks" -> "parks"). Use linking words (because, so, therefore) and give one concrete example of improvement.

範例: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because the current ones are poorly maintained. For example, they lack benches and proper lighting, so the government should build new parks and improve maintenance to make them safer and more attractive.

建議: Provide a clear topic sentence and a specific reason why you want to visit that park. Avoid vague phrases like "I don't remember your name"—say you can’t recall the exact name but describe it. Use linking words to connect ideas and give one concrete detail about the park's features.

範例: Yes. I would like to visit a park in Canada whose name I can't recall, but I admire its infrastructure. For instance, it has wide walking paths, modern playgrounds and beautiful landscaping, which is why I want to go there.

× I used to going to park when I was 12 because, uh, I like to play with my friends.

✓ I used to go to the park when I was 12 because I liked to play with my friends.

'Used to' is followed by the base form of the verb, not the -ing form. Also 'park' requires the article 'the' when referring to a specific place and tense consistency calls for 'liked' to match the past time frame. Suggestion: Use 'used to' + base verb and keep past tense consistent (used to go, liked).

× I used to going to park when I was 12 because, uh, I like to play with my friends.

✓ I used to go to the park when I was 12 because I liked to play with my friends.

When talking about a particular place like 'park' in this context, English typically uses the definite article 'the'. Also adjust verbs as noted above. Suggestion: Add 'the' before 'park' when it's a known or specific type of place you visited regularly.

× I like to play with my friends.

✓ I liked to play with my friends.

The sentence refers to a past habitual action ('when I was 12'), so use past tense 'liked' to maintain tense consistency. Suggestion: Align verb tense with the time expression (use past for actions in the past).

× We can take swings there, we can walk, we can show things about what we have in school, intuitions and that made me very driver and it is very nice.

✓ We could swing there, walk, and show things from school; those activities made me very happy and it was very nice.

Pronoun and demonstrative issues: 'that' is unclear and 'intuitions' is incorrect word choice. 'We can' suggests present ability; since the speaker talks about childhood, 'could' or past forms are better. 'Driver' is incorrect word for an emotion—likely 'happier' or 'happy'. Suggestion: Use past modal 'could' for past habitual abilities, replace incorrect nouns with accurate words, and ensure pronouns refer clearly to plural activities ('those activities').

× Yes I do, I go to park now but uh, I don't have much friends now uh, but I usually go for a walk after my dinner or lunch.

✓ Yes, I do. I go to the park now, but I don't have many friends. I usually go for a walk after dinner or lunch.

'Go to park' needs 'the'. 'Much friends' is incorrect; use 'many friends' for countable plural. Also remove redundant 'now' and adjust punctuation. 'After my dinner or lunch' is wordy; 'after dinner or lunch' is natural. Suggestion: Use 'the' with 'park', 'many' with countable nouns, and simplify time expressions.

× Yes I do, I go to park now but uh, I don't have much friends now uh, but I usually go for a walk after my dinner or lunch.

✓ Yes, I do. I go to the park now, but I don't have many friends. I usually go for a walk after dinner or lunch.

'Park' when referring to a specific or habitual place requires 'the'. Suggestion: Add 'the' before 'park' to sound natural.

× I don't have much friends now uh, but I usually go for a walk after my dinner or lunch.

✓ I don't have many friends now, but I usually go for a walk after dinner or lunch.

'Much' is used with uncountable nouns; 'friends' is countable plural, so use 'many'. Suggestion: Use 'many' for plural countable nouns and 'much' for uncountable nouns.

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city as a UMM as currently the parks in my area are not that much good.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because currently the parks in my area are not very good.

'As a UMM' is unclear and likely extraneous; 'that much good' is unidiomatic—use 'very good'. 'Because' better connects the reason. Also remove unclear phrase. Suggestion: Replace awkward phrasing with 'because' and 'very good' and remove unclear or irrelevant phrases.

× Uh the maintenance is not good so I really want that.

✓ The maintenance is not good, so I really want more parks.

The pronoun 'that' is vague and doesn't clearly refer to 'more parks'; the conjunction use is acceptable but clarify the object of desire. Suggestion: Make the object of 'want' explicit and link cause and effect with a comma before 'so'.

× Government should make new perks in my city and make them more attractive.

✓ The government should build new parks in my city and make them more attractive.

'Government' needs the definite article 'the' in this context. 'Perks' is a misspelling of 'parks' or the wrong word. Use 'build' or 'create' rather than 'make' for parks. Suggestion: Use 'the government' and correct 'perks' to 'parks'; choose appropriate verbs like 'build' or 'create'.

× Yes, there is a one park in Canada.

✓ Yes, there is a park in Canada.

With 'there is', use 'a park', not 'a one park'. 'One' is unnecessary and awkward here. Suggestion: Use 'there is a park' or 'there is one park' but not 'a one park'.

× I don't remember your name, but I really love their infrastructure so I really want to go there.

✓ I don't remember its name, but I really love its infrastructure, so I really want to go there.

'Your' is inappropriate when referring to a park; use 'its' for a place. 'Their' is plural; 'park' is singular so use 'its'. Suggestion: Use correct possessive pronoun matching the noun's number and avoid 'your' when speaking about places.