公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Cải thiện thì và ngữ pháp: sử dụng quá khứ đơn cho hành động trong quá khứ (vd. “asked”), điều chỉnh trật tự từ và cụm từ thời gian (ví dụ “every afternoon”), và tránh lỗi chia động từ. Ngoài ra, làm câu tự nhiên hơn bằng một câu chủ đề ngắn và 1-2 chi tiết hỗ trợ có liên quan.

範例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I always asked my grandmother to take me to the park every afternoon, and we often fed the ducks and played on the swings.

建議: Sửa ngữ pháp và mạch lạc: dùng thì hiện tại hoàn thành hoặc hiện tại đơn thích hợp (vd. “I'm in high school” hoặc “I've been in high school”), sửa danh từ đếm được số nhiều/số ít (vd. “much work” hoặc “many tasks”), và tách ý thành câu ngắn rõ ràng. Thêm một liên từ thích hợp để liên kết lý do (because/as) và tránh lặp từ.

範例: Not really. I'm currently in high school and I have a lot of schoolwork, so I don't have time to walk in parks as I used to.

建議: Cải thiện tính mạch lạc và từ vựng: sửa lỗi số nhiều (parks, homes → home), loại bỏ phần lắp ("but and is it located...") và nối ý rõ ràng bằng linking words (for example, because, and). Cố gắng trả lời trực tiếp rồi giải thích cụ thể vì sao bạn muốn thêm công viên (ví dụ tiện lợi, không khí trong lành, nơi cho gia đình).

範例: Yes, I would. My city has only a few parks and they are quite far from my home, so I wish there was a park nearby where my family and I could relax and exercise.

建議: Cải thiện ngữ pháp và độ tự nhiên: tránh dùng cấu trúc lắp, dùng thì phù hợp cho dự định trong tương lai (I hope/someday I will be able to afford/ I hope to afford), và làm câu gọn hơn (tối đa 3-4 câu). Thêm chi tiết cụ thể về lý do bạn muốn đến đó để tăng nội dung.

範例: Yes, I'd love to visit Times Square Park in New York. I hope to save enough money to fly there someday because I'm curious to see the atmosphere and famous sights around the park.

× Yes, absolutely. When I was a child, I always ask my grandmother to take me to the park every day afternoon.

✓ Yes, absolutely. When I was a child, I always asked my grandmother to take me to the park every afternoon.

The verb 'ask' should be in the past tense 'asked' to match the past time reference 'When I was a child' (subject uses past). 'every day afternoon' is unidiomatic; use 'every afternoon'. Suggestion: Use past tense for habits in the past (used to/always + past verb) and prefer 'every afternoon'.

× No, I don't like going to the parks now, since I get into high school, there's many work to do and I don't have time for myself to walk around in the park.

✓ No, I don't like going to parks now. Since I entered high school, there is a lot of work to do and I don't have time to walk around in the park.

'Since I get into high school' is incorrect tense and phrasing; use past 'entered' or 'started' because the action of starting high school is completed. 'there's many work' has verb agreement and count noun issues: 'there is' with singular, but 'many work' is wrong; use 'a lot of work' or 'much work'. 'time for myself to walk' is wordy; use 'time to walk'. Suggestion: Match tense for events that began in the past and use correct quantifiers for uncountable nouns.

× Yeah I would like to see more park in my city since it has only a few park but and is it located far away from my homes? I wish there was a park near my house.

✓ Yeah, I would like to see more parks in my city since it has only a few parks and they are located far away from my home. I wish there were a park near my house.

Use plural 'parks' when referring to more than one. 'it has only a few park' should be 'it has only a few parks'. 'homes' should be singular 'home' referring to the speaker's residence. 'I wish there was' is acceptable informally but subjunctive 'I wish there were' is more correct for unreal present wishes. Suggestion: Make nouns agree in number and use the subjunctive 'were' for hypothetical wishes.

× Yes, there's a park I want to go to in the future and it's called Times Square Park. It's located in New York, United States. I wish someday I will afford the money so I could fly there and see in the park myself.

✓ Yes, there is a park I want to go to in the future; it's called Times Square Park. It's located in New York, United States. I hope that someday I will be able to afford the trip so I can fly there and see the park myself.

'There's a park I want' is okay but 'I wish someday I will afford the money' is ungrammatical: 'afford' needs object and modal phrasing; use 'be able to afford the trip' or 'afford the money' is awkward. Also 'so I could fly' mixes conditional/modal forms; use 'so I can fly' after 'I hope/someday I will'. 'see in the park' should be 'see the park'. Suggestion: Use appropriate modal constructions ('be able to', 'can/will') and correct preposition/object usage ('see the park').