公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Keep your answer short and directly state your main idea first (topic sentence). Then add one or two clear supporting details using correct tense and simple connectors (e.g., "because", "when"). Focus on grammar (subject-verb agreement, correct verb forms) and clearer vocabulary ("when I was a child", "relatives"). Limit to 2–4 sentences to be natural and effective.

範例: Yes, I did. When I was a child I often went to the park on weekends or school holidays because my relatives visited and we spent time together playing and having picnics.

建議: Start with a clear topic sentence ("Yes, I still like going to parks"). Use correct noun forms and numbers ("two younger siblings"). Use linking words to explain reasons ("because", "especially"). Avoid repetition and filler words. Keep answer within 2–4 sentences and correct prepositions ("bring me", "on holiday").

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because I often take my two younger siblings there on school holidays. We play games and have snacks together, so it is a fun family activity.

建議: Give a direct answer then support it with specific reasons and a brief prediction. Use correct place names and grammar ("I was born in a small city called Savar/Shabar"). Replace vague words with clearer ones ("few parks", "local authorities"), and use linking phrases ("because", "in the future"). Keep it concise and coherent.

範例: Yes, I would. I was born in a small city called Shabar and there are very few parks, so more parks would improve residents' quality of life. I hope the local authorities will plan better park facilities in the future.

建議: Answer directly ("Yes, I would like to visit Shahudin Park"). Give two or three specific details: location, age, and reasons why you want to go (e.g., scenery, facilities). Use correct comparative forms ("more beautiful than my city's park") and tidy up numerical expressions ("30 kilometers from Savar"). Limit to 2–4 sentences and avoid fillers.

範例: Yes, I would like to visit Shahudin Park. It was established in 1927 and is about 30 kilometers from Savar; I have heard it has beautiful gardens and better facilities than the parks in my city, so I want to see it for myself.

× I actually the answer is yes.

✓ I actually, the answer is yes.

Missing punctuation and awkward word order. Add a comma after 'actually' to separate the discourse marker from the clause. Alternatively rewrite as 'Actually, the answer is yes.' to be clearer.

× When I eat, when I are child I like going to park or when my school was a day off or or when my my relative circum to my home and I.

✓ When I was a child, I liked going to the park when my school had a day off or when my relatives came to my home.

Multiple tense and agreement errors: 'are' should be past 'was' for 'I was a child' (past), so the main clause should be past 'liked'. 'Eat' is incorrect word; likely meant 'as' or 'ago' so removed. 'Going to park' needs definite article 'the park'. 'My my relative circum' is incorrect; use plural 'relatives came'. Also simplified and corrected word order and removed repeated words.

× Yes still I like going to parks now because I have a 2 little sister and brothers brothers us when their school is holiday, especially on holidays they they go to the bars and bring with me and and they like umm also enjoy with me in the park.

✓ Yes, I still like going to parks now because I have two little sisters and brothers who come with me when their school is on holiday. Especially during holidays they go to the parks and bring me along; they also enjoy being in the park with me.

Number and article errors and word choice: use 'two' not '2'; 'sister and brothers' should be plural 'sisters and brothers'. Use relative clause 'who come with me'. 'School is holiday' corrected to 'school is on holiday'. 'Bars' is wrong word — likely 'parks'. 'Bring with me' corrected to 'bring me along'. Tidied repetition and clarified sentence structure.

× Yes, I like to see more parts in my city because us I really born a little city.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because I was born in a small town.

Word choice and structure errors: 'parts' should be 'parks'. 'Us I really born a little city' is ungrammatical; correct to 'I was born in a small town'. Use conditional 'would like' for preference.

× The name is cities Shabar.

✓ The name is Shabar City.

Incorrect word order and plural: 'cities Shabar' should be 'Shabar City' with 'City' after the name and singular form.

× Uh, uh, it's few who park in there.

✓ Uh, there are only a few parks there.

'It's few who park in there' is incorrect. Use 'there are' to state existence and 'a few parks there' for correct noun and preposition 'there'.

× So I see in future, uh, the magistrate or the umm or the professional team aim improve park facility.

✓ So I hope that in the future the magistrate or a professional team will aim to improve park facilities.

Tense and verb form: 'I see in future' is unnatural; use 'I hope in the future' or 'I hope that in the future'. 'Aim improve' needs 'will aim to improve'. 'Facility' should be plural 'facilities'. Added articles and corrected word order.

× Uh, yes, uh, I in the future, I go to, uh, a park.

✓ Yes, in the future I will go to a park.

Future intention requires 'will' for simple future: 'I will go'. Removed filler words and corrected word order.

× This park name is, is Shahudin Park.

✓ This park's name is Shahudin Park.

Use possessive 'park's name' or 'The park is called Shahudin Park.' Repetition removed.

× This is established in 1927 and in Dhaka, it's for 30 kilometers to our Savar city.

✓ It was established in 1927 and is about 30 kilometers from Dhaka to our Savar city.

Use past tense 'was established' for a past event. 'For 30 kilometers to our Savar city' is incorrect preposition and structure; use 'about 30 kilometers from Dhaka to Savar' or 'is about 30 kilometers from Dhaka.' Clarified meaning.

× And I know, oh, this park was very beautiful then my city's park.

✓ And I know this park is much more beautiful than my city's park.

Comparative needed: use 'more beautiful than' not 'then'. Use present tense 'is' if still beautiful, or 'was' if speaking historically. Corrected word order and removed filler.