公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Reduce hesitations and correct tense; start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Use past tense for childhood. Aim for clearer vocabulary (e.g., "relaxing").

範例: Yes. I loved going to parks as a child because I enjoyed being close to nature. For example, I used to play on the grass and explore trees, which made me feel calm and happy.

建議: Give a direct topic sentence and add a brief specific reason with a linking word. Use natural phrasing and correct tense/aspect (e.g., "I don't have as much time as before").

範例: Not really. I rarely visit parks now because I don't have as much free time as before; I'm busy studying and working, so I usually relax at home instead.

建議: Be concise and organize ideas: state your opinion, then give two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases (e.g., "comfortable to my eye").

範例: Yes, I would. More parks would be great because they give children a safe place to play and they improve the look of the neighborhood. For instance, a nearby park would make it easier for families to spend time outside.

建議: Use a clear topic sentence and add one or two specific details about the park (location, features, why you want to go). Reduce fillers and finish sentences fluently.

範例: Yes. I would like to visit a large park in Algiers because it is famous for its many trees and colorful flower beds. I want to walk there and take photos of the scenery.

× I like going to parks as a child because, umm, when I was child, uh, I like nature and like the, uh, the grass and everything green and make you more relaxable.

✓ I liked going to parks as a child because, when I was a child, I liked nature, the grass and everything green, and they made me more relaxed.

The sentence refers to past habitual actions, so verbs should be in the past tense (liked, made). Also 'when I was child' needs the article 'a'. 'Relaxable' is incorrect; use the adjective 'relaxed' to describe a person's state. Suggestions: use past tense for childhood descriptions, include articles where needed, and choose correct adjective forms.

× So I would love to come back a child and uh, enjoy.

✓ So I would love to be a child again and enjoy it.

The speaker imagines a hypothetical wish about the past, so 'be a child again' is the correct expression. 'Come back a child' is ungrammatical; use 'be' or 'become' plus article 'a'. Also add 'it' to refer to the experience. Suggestions: use natural collocations for wishes (would love to be), include articles, and add pronouns for clarity.

× I barely go to parks now because I don't have much time as I was.

✓ I rarely go to parks now because I don't have as much time as I used to.

Comparing current and past time requires the expression 'as much time as I used to'. 'Barely' can mean almost never but 'rarely' is more natural for 'not often'. 'As I was' is incorrect here; use 'as I used to' to compare past habit. Suggestions: use 'rarely' or 'hardly ever' for infrequent actions and 'used to' for past habitual states.

× I'm busy in studying and working so I'm not going to parks right now.

✓ I'm busy studying and working, so I don't go to parks right now.

'Busy in studying' is a calque; in English we say 'busy studying'. Also 'I'm not going to parks right now' sounds like a plan; for current habitual lack of visits use 'I don't go to parks right now' or 'I am not going to parks at the moment'. Suggestions: use 'busy' + gerund without 'in', and choose present simple or present continuous appropriately for current routines.

× Yes, I would love to see more parks in my city, like, uh, seeing them and seeing children plays and uh, and enjoy their time.

✓ Yes, I would love to see more parks in my city, to see children playing and enjoying their time.

After 'see' as an intention, use infinitive or gerund forms correctly. 'Seeing children plays' is incorrect: 'children play' should be 'children playing'. 'Enjoy their time' must align with 'children' so use 'enjoying their time'. Suggestions: use 'children playing' for ongoing action and maintain parallel gerund forms.

× It's so comfortable to, to my eye for me actually and, and otherwise to visit that park because it's near to my house.

✓ It's very pleasant to my eyes, and it's convenient to visit that park because it's near my house.

'Comfortable to my eye' is awkward; use 'pleasant to my eye' or 'pleasing to me'. 'Near to my house' should be 'near my house' (omit 'to'). 'Otherwise' is unnecessary and confusing here. Suggestions: use natural collocations ('pleasant to my eye', 'near my house') and remove redundant words.

× Actually, I want to visit park that's, uh, it's in, uh, Algiers, uh, it's uh, a big one and it's beautiful.

✓ Actually, I want to visit a park that's in Algiers; it's a big and beautiful park.

English requires an article before singular countable nouns: 'a park'. Also combine clauses to avoid repetition ('that's in Algiers' rather than 'that's, uh, it's in'). 'A big one and it's beautiful' is wordy; make it concise. Suggestions: include appropriate articles before singular nouns and streamline clauses for clarity.

× It's full of trees and the flowers and umm.

✓ It's full of trees and flowers.

The definite article 'the' before 'flowers' is unnecessary unless referring to specific flowers previously mentioned. Ending with 'umm' is non-grammatical filler. Suggestions: remove unnecessary articles and filler words in formal responses; say 'trees and flowers'.