公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be concise and directly answer the question with a clear past-tense statement, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition, filler words, and grammatical errors. Use linking words like “and” or “because” to connect ideas. Focus on one or two activities and describe them briefly.

範例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I went there almost every day to play football with my friends and meet new people, because it was a safe and open place where we could run around and have fun.

建議: Answer directly and use correct tense and clearer reason phrases. Replace awkward expressions with natural alternatives (e.g., “I rarely go now because I’m very busy at work”). Use one linking phrase like “because” and give a brief consequence or frequency detail.

範例: I rarely go to parks now because I started working and I’m usually busy. As a result, I only visit occasionally on weekends when I have free time.

建議: Respond clearly with your opinion first, then give specific reasons or examples. Avoid vague or incorrect phrases; use natural descriptions (“Suzhou already has many parks, which are beautiful and large”) and explain whether you want more parks and why (e.g., for leisure or tourism).

範例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city. Although Suzhou already has many beautiful and large parks popular with tourists, more parks would provide residents with additional green spaces for relaxation and exercise.

建議: Give a clear, concise statement about which park and why you want to visit. Use correct grammar and avoid repetition. Include one or two specific reasons (history, scenery, cultural interest) and a linking word such as “because” or “so”.

範例: Yes, I would like to visit the Old Summer Palace (Yuan Ming Yuan) in Beijing because it has a long history and beautiful ruins. I’m interested in its architecture and the chance to learn more about China’s past.

× Oh, of course I do. I I mostly everyday go to I mostly go to park every day.

✓ Oh, of course I did. I mostly went to the park every day.

The question asks about childhood (past), so the student should use past tense. 'Do' is present; change to 'did'. Also use past tense verb 'went' and include the definite article 'the' before 'park'. Remove repetition and extra words for clarity.

× Uh, you know, MB Tim the E person, I like to uh, change friends and make new friends here.

✓ Uh, you know, as a shy person, I liked to change friends and make new friends there.

The original phrase 'MB Tim the E person' is unclear; assuming intended meaning 'shy' or similar. Pronoun and tense consistency: since speaking about childhood, use past tense 'liked'. Use 'there' to refer to the park. Clarify and correct pronoun usage and word choice.

× We will play, umm, football play uh.

✓ We would play football.

When recalling habitual past activities, use 'would' or 'used to' plus base verb: 'would play' or 'used to play'. Remove redundant word 'play' and filler words for correct structure.

× Unfortunately, when I start work I seldom to go to the park because I have too much time.

✓ Unfortunately, when I started work I seldom went to the park because I had too little free time.

Talking about a past change, so verbs should be past tense: 'started', 'seldom went'. 'Have too much time' contradicts context; intended meaning is lack of time, so change to 'had too little free time'. Remove unnecessary 'to' after 'seldom'.

× I have no time to do this and suddenly my friends also that when we start works our times is all around the work.

✓ I had no time for that, and my friends were the same: when we started work our time was all taken up by work.

Maintain past tense 'had' and 'started'. Replace awkward pronouns and phrases: 'my friends also' -> 'my friends were the same'. Use possessive/subject-verb agreement: 'our time was' not 'our times is'. Clarify meaning with 'taken up by work'.

× Oh yes, I live in Suzhou. Suzhou is a straight has many a lot of park here and is beautiful and large.

✓ Oh yes, I live in Suzhou. Suzhou is a city that has a lot of parks and is beautiful and large.

'Straight' is incorrect; likely intended 'city'. Use 'a city that has' to connect clauses. 'Many a lot of park' is ungrammatical; use 'a lot of parks' (plural) and include plural agreement.

× Many tourists to go here and umm travel is I but I almost didn't.

✓ Many tourists go there to travel, but I almost never did.

Use simple present 'go' for general truth about tourists, and past tense 'did' for the student's past action. 'Travel is I' is incorrect; clarify to 'there to travel'. Use 'almost never did' for negation in past.

× Oh, yeah, I want to go. The Yuan Ming Yuan Park in Beijing is are it has very long history and it's beautiful, makes it makes me feel like I live in the long history, long history.

✓ Oh, yeah, I want to go. The Yuanmingyuan Park in Beijing has a very long history and is beautiful; it makes me feel like I am surrounded by history.

Correct subject-verb agreement: 'park has' not 'is are it has'. Use 'has a very long history'. Replace repetitive and ungrammatical phrases with a concise expression. Use present simple 'has' when describing a lasting characteristic, and present continuous 'makes me feel like I am' for the effect.