公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 文法と表現を簡潔に直し、理由を具体的に述べましょう。主語と形容詞の使い方（"I was shy"）や動詞の形（"to go"→"going"）を正しく使うと自然になります。さらに、短い補足（例：怖がりだった、友達がいなかったなど）を加えて説得力を高めてください。

範例: I didn’t like going to parks as a child because I was very shy. For example, I felt uncomfortable talking to other children, so I preferred playing at home with my toys.

建議: 数と冠詞の使い方（"a lot of people" や "in the park"）、および語の誤り（"crowd price"→"crowds"）を直しましょう。理由を整理して、接続詞でつなぐと流れが良くなります（例えば "because... so..." の構造を明確に）。

範例: I don’t like going to parks now because there are a lot of people in the park, and I don’t feel comfortable in large crowds. Therefore, I usually prefer staying at home where it’s quiet.

建議: 文法と論理の整理が必要です。"I do not think to increase parks" は不自然なので "I don’t think we need more parks" のように言い換えましょう。理由を一つに絞り、冗長な表現を避けて具体例（土地が限られている、既存の公園が十分など）を添えると説得力が出ます。

範例: I don’t think we need more parks in my town because it is very small and there isn’t enough space. The existing parks are also small but sufficient for local residents.

建議: 固有名詞や場所の表現を正確にしましょう（"Shiba Park" など）。また、未来の希望を述べるときは理由と期待する体験（例：夜景を見る、ピクニックをする）を具体的に述べると良いです。文法は "it is near" や "I want to see" に直しましょう。

範例: I would like to visit Shiba Park in the future because it is near Tokyo Tower. I’m especially looking forward to seeing the beautiful view of Tokyo Tower at night and maybe having a picnic there.

× I did not like to go to parks as a child because I was a shyness.

✓ I did not like going to parks as a child because I was shy.

The adjective 'shy' should be used to describe a person, not the noun 'shyness.' Also after 'like' the gerund 'going' is more natural than the infinitive 'to go' in this context. Suggestion: use 'shy' and 'like going' to make the sentence grammatically correct and natural.

× I do not like going to parks now because there is a lot of people in park.

✓ I do not like going to parks now because there are a lot of people in the park.

The construction 'there is' is singular; with 'a lot of people' (plural) you must use 'there are.' Also 'in park' needs the definite article 'the' to refer to parks in general context or 'in parks' for general plural. Suggestion: use 'there are' and 'in the park' or 'in parks' depending on intended meaning.

× I am not good at crowd price so I prefer staying at home.

✓ I am not good with crowds, so I prefer staying at home.

The phrase 'crowd price' is incorrect. The correct expression is 'good with crowds' or 'not good in crowds.' Also add a comma before 'so' to join the clauses. Suggestion: use 'good with crowds' to express discomfort around many people.

× I do not think to increase parks in my city because my town is very small.

✓ I do not think we should increase the number of parks in my city because my town is very small.

The verb 'think' normally takes a clause (e.g., 'think we should...') rather than 'think to increase.' Also 'parks' needs a quantifier like 'the number of parks' for clarity. Suggestion: use 'think we should increase the number of parks' to express opinion about a future action.

× So if we make parks in my city it is very small, so we I don't need more power.

✓ If we made parks in my city, they would be very small, so I don't think we need more of them.

The original mixes tenses and has awkward pronoun and noun references. Use a conditional 'If we made... they would be' to match hypothetical situation. 'We I don't need more power' is ungrammatical; replace with 'I don't think we need more of them.' Suggestion: use a conditional structure and clear pronouns referring to 'parks.'

× I want to go to Shiva parks because it is nearing Tokyo Tower.

✓ I want to go to Shiba Park because it is near Tokyo Tower.

'Shiva parks' appears to be a misspelling of 'Shiba Park.' Use the singular proper noun 'Shiba Park.' 'Nearing' is the present participle and is awkward here; use 'near' to indicate location. Suggestion: correct the place name and use 'near' for location.

× It seems to see beautiful Tokyo Tower at night.

✓ You can see the beautiful Tokyo Tower at night there.

The phrase 'It seems to see' is ungrammatical. Use 'You can see' or 'It is possible to see' to indicate visibility. Also include the definite article 'the' before 'beautiful Tokyo Tower.' Suggestion: use 'You can see the beautiful Tokyo Tower at night' for natural phrasing.