公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be careful with verb tenses and repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence in the past tense, avoid repeating phrases, and add a specific supporting detail to make your answer more vivid. Use linking words like "often" or "also" to connect ideas naturally.

範例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often went there with my friends to play football and climb trees, and sometimes I would sit quietly on a bench to read. Those visits were relaxing and helped me feel happier after a busy school day.

建議: Use present tense and correct word choice. Replace filler words and unclear vocabulary with precise expressions (e.g., "a sense of calm"). Add one specific example of what you do in parks now and a linking word to make the answer coherent.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. They are very peaceful and give me a sense of calm, so I often go there to jog or read a book on weekends.

建議: Organize your response with a clear topic sentence and concise reasons. Avoid grammar errors and run-on sentences; use linking words like "because" and "therefore" correctly. Offer one specific reason and an example of benefit to residents.

範例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide peaceful green spaces for people to relax. For example, additional parks would give families safe places for children to play and improve air quality in busy neighborhoods.

建議: Keep sentences short and correct small errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give specific details about what attracts you (wildlife, scenery, activities). Use linking words such as "because" or "for example" to connect ideas.

範例: Yes, I would like to visit Kofun National Park in the future. I read about it in a newspaper and it seems fascinating because it has lush forests and diverse wildlife, so I hope to go there to see the animals and hike the trails.

× Yes. Honestly, I really love visiting the park as a child because I used to go there with my friends and play with them.

✓ Yes. Honestly, I really loved visiting parks as a child because I used to go there with my friends and play with them.

The student mixes present simple 'I really love' with the time marker 'as a child' which refers to the past. Use past tense 'loved' to match the past time frame; also pluralize 'parks' or keep 'the park' consistently. Suggestion: keep tense consistent with time adverbials (use past when speaking about childhood).

× Sometimes I just sit in the park in the park and heal.

✓ Sometimes I would just sit in the park and relax.

The original repeats 'in the park in the park' (redundant) and uses 'heal' incorrectly; 'heal' is usually intransitive for recovering health, not appropriate here. Use 'would' or past simple to indicate habitual past action and 'relax' to express resting. Avoid repetition and choose the correct verb for the intended meaning.

× Absolutely yes. I really want to visit parks until now because they are very peaceful and give me a sense of, uh, constable.

✓ Absolutely. I still want to visit parks because they are very peaceful and give me a sense of calm.

'Want to visit parks until now' is incorrect: 'until now' does not fit; use 'still' for continuing desire. 'Constable' is the wrong word; the correct noun is 'calm'. Also remove filler 'uh' and adjust punctuation. Use present simple 'want' for a current preference.

× Honestly yes, parks are one of the most places that I really want to visit, so because they are really peaceful and give people a sense of calm and relaxed cities is really need to have more of them for people to enjoy.

✓ Honestly, yes. Parks are some of the places I really want to visit because they are peaceful and give people a sense of calm. Cities really need to have more of them for people to enjoy.

This sentence has several structural errors: 'one of the most places' is ungrammatical (use 'some of the places' or 'one of the most popular places'); redundant connectors 'so because' should be reduced; 'calm and relaxed' is awkward as a noun phrase—use 'a sense of calm'; 'cities is really need' has subject-verb agreement and word order errors—use 'cities really need'. Break into two sentences for clarity.

× In the future I'd like to visit Kofun National Park. I saw it on a newspaper and it looks fascinating. I it is a Green Park with animals and I really want to visit them in person.

✓ In the future I'd like to visit Kofun National Park. I saw it in a newspaper and it looked fascinating. It is a green park with animals and I really want to visit it in person.

Use 'saw it in a newspaper' (preposition 'in' with 'newspaper'). Maintain tense consistency: if referring to the article you saw, past 'looked' fits, but 'it is' can remain present for a current fact. Fix 'I it is' (extra 'I') and use correct pronoun 'it' for the park rather than 'them'. Capitalization: 'green' should not be capitalized unless part of a proper name. Improve pronoun reference so it clearly refers to the park.