公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Give a clear topic sentence, correct tense and grammar, reduce repetition, and add one specific supporting detail. Use linking words to connect ideas and keep it within 3–4 sentences.

範例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often went with my family, and we would have picnics and play games, which created many happy memories. Because the parks were close to our home, we visited almost every weekend.

建議: Start with a clear topic sentence, fix grammar (subject-verb agreement), remove filler words, and finish the thought with a specific reason or activity. Use one linking word to show contrast.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, but I am quite busy these days. Therefore, I only manage to visit about once a week to jog and relax, which helps me stay healthy and reduce stress.

建議: Provide a concise, grammatically correct response: state your opinion, give two specific reasons with linking words, and avoid hesitations. Use precise vocabulary (clean, fresh, recreational space).

範例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they make urban areas cleaner and improve air quality. Additionally, parks provide recreational space where families and children can play and exercise.

建議: Avoid a blunt one-word answer. Give a brief explanation and offer a contrasting possibility (e.g., when goals are achieved). Keep it natural and specific, and correct repetition.

範例: Not at the moment, because I am focused on several important goals like finishing my degree and improving my career. However, once I have more free time, I would like to visit new parks to relax and spend time outdoors.

× Yes, of course. I really, really enjoy it. The feeling when I went to parks with my family when I was young because it's a good time to my family, make a lot of memories.

✓ Yes, of course. I really enjoyed it. I felt happy when I went to parks with my family when I was young because it was a good time for my family and we made a lot of memories.

Mixed tenses and incorrect verb forms: the student used present tense 'enjoy' then described past experiences, so past tense 'enjoyed' fits. 'The feeling when I went to parks...' is an incomplete clause; rewrite as 'I felt happy when I went to parks...'. 'It's a good time to my family' is incorrect: use past 'it was' and preposition 'for' not 'to'. 'make a lot of memories' should be past 'we made' to match the past context. Suggestion: keep consistent past tense when talking about childhood and use correct prepositions and complete clause structures.

× Yes I do, however I quite busy nowadays so I just go to the park once a week because uh, I have to stay healthy and.

✓ Yes I do; however, I'm quite busy nowadays so I only go to the park once a week because I have to stay healthy.

Missing auxiliary verb for present continuous: 'I quite busy' should be 'I'm quite busy'. 'Just' is better as 'only' for frequency here. Sentence ended with 'and.' incomplete; remove or complete the clause. Ensure punctuation and use of contraction or full form. Suggestion: use 'I am' + adjective for current state and avoid sentence fragments.

× Yes, of course, because umm, they it will make the city more clear and fresh and people in the city will have a place to play.

✓ Yes, of course, because it will make the city cleaner and fresher and people will have places to play.

Pronoun confusion: 'they it' is redundant and unclear; choose one pronoun ('it' referring to parks). Adjective choice: 'more clear and fresh' is non-idiomatic; use comparative adjectives 'cleaner' and 'fresher'. 'People in the city will have a place to play' is fine but 'places' is more natural when referring generally. Suggestion: use one clear pronoun, use correct comparative adjectives and pluralize when speaking generally.

× No, because I have a lot of goals I have to achieve in the future, so I don't have time to think, to think a lot about parks.

✓ No, because I have a lot of goals I need to achieve in the future, so I don't have much time to think a lot about parks.

Repetition and word choice: 'I have a lot of goals I have to achieve' repeats 'have'; replace second 'have to' with 'need to' or restructure. 'I don't have time to think, to think a lot' repeats phrase; use 'don't have much time to think a lot'. Ensure future-planned goals use present modal 'need to' or 'have to' depending on tone. Suggestion: avoid repetition, choose varied verbs and use 'much' with uncountable 'time'.