公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Cải thiện: Nói rõ ràng, tránh lặp từ và sắp xếp câu theo cấu trúc đơn giản: mở đầu trả lời trực tiếp, sau đó bổ sung 1–2 chi tiết cụ thể. Luyện phát âm những từ khó và loại bỏ tiếng ngắt quãng (uh, um). Ví dụ: nêu tên hoạt động bạn làm ở công viên, tần suất hoặc cảm giác khi đến đó. Hãy hạn chế tối đa 3 câu phụ trợ để không vượt quá giới hạn.

範例: Yes, I liked going to parks as a child. My mother often took me there so I could breathe fresh air and play on the swings. I particularly remember walking along the flower paths and feeding ducks, which made those visits very enjoyable.

建議: Cải thiện: Tránh nhầm lẫn từ (pubs vs parks) và câu không rõ nghĩa. Trả lời trực tiếp, dùng liên từ (because, so) để giải thích lý do, nêu một hoặc hai lợi ích cụ thể của việc đi công viên. Giữ câu ngắn gọn, tránh ngắt quãng.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I often go there when I feel stressed because walking among trees helps me relax and clear my mind, so I can study more effectively afterwards.

建議: Cải thiện: Câu trả lời nên rõ ràng: đồng ý hoặc không đồng ý rồi giải thích cụ thể. Dùng linking words như "however" hoặc "because" để làm rõ lập luận. Cung cấp ví dụ về vấn đề bền vững bạn đề cập (ví dụ: thiếu đất, chi phí bảo trì).

範例: I'm not sure; I see the benefit of more parks, but it may not be practical because the city has limited land and many factories and schools. However, creating small green spaces or rooftop gardens could be a sustainable alternative.

建議: Cải thiện: Trả lời nên trực tiếp và logic: nếu bạn không có kế hoạch, giải thích ngắn gọn và rõ ràng. Tránh lặp từ và đưa ra điều kiện hoặc thời gian cụ thể (ví dụ: after exams). Có thể đề xuất một tình huống khi bạn sẽ đi công viên để câu trả lời tự nhiên hơn.

範例: Not at the moment, because I'm a final-year student focusing on exams. However, after I graduate I would like to visit parks more often to relax and exercise.

× Yes, 'cause you know, uh, in Vietnam in many parts have many have many slightly work to place and sometimes and sometimes my mom's Annie will, uh, will go to this park to, for me to enjoy the fresh air in this place.

✓ Yes, because in many parts of Vietnam there are places with light industry, so sometimes my mom, Annie, would take me to the park to enjoy the fresh air.

The original sentence has multiple structure problems: missing subject for clauses, repetition, and incorrect word order. Use 'because' instead of informal 'cause'. Insert 'there are' for existence (There be issue, ID 3) and 'in many parts of Vietnam' as a prepositional phrase (preposition issue, ID 11). Remove repetitions and clarify who 'Annie' is by using commas. Use 'would take me' for habitual past (past tense issue, ID 5). Suggestion: break into simpler clauses, include 'there are', and place modifiers near the nouns they describe.

× Oh, I think is yes, uh, I uh, I like going to pubs now, especially when I have uh S low low score, because I can stroll around and enjoy the person in this play. Thus, uh help me to enjoy the long day for study.

✓ Yes, I still like going to parks now, especially when I get low scores, because I can stroll around and enjoy the peace in the park; it helps me get through long days of studying.

Multiple tense and word choice issues: 'I think is yes' is ungrammatical (sentence structure, ID 26). 'Pubs' is wrong word for 'parks' (word choice, treated as incorrect adjective/adverb use, ID 13). 'When I have low scores' should be 'when I get low scores' (present tense habitual, ID 6). 'Enjoy the person in this play' is incorrect — likely meant 'peace in the park' (lexical error, ID 13). 'Thus, uh help me to enjoy the long day for study' should be 'it helps me get through long days of studying' (verb form and noun phrases, verb + -ing form, ID 8). Suggestion: use clear subject-verb structure, correct vocabulary, and consistent present tense for current habits.

× I'm not sure because you know, city is or city have many industries and schools, so I think it's not sustainable to have more parks in my city.

✓ I'm not sure because, you know, the city has many industries and schools, so I think it's not sustainable to create more parks in my city.

'City is or city have' shows subject-verb agreement and article errors: use 'the city' and 'has' for third person singular (third person singular issue, ID 2 and subject-verb agreement, ID 27). Also prefer 'create more parks' rather than 'have more parks' for clarity (word choice). Suggestion: include the definite article 'the' before 'city' and use 'has'.

× I recognize it. No because I am senior student and I think I should spend most of my time to learn anything else important time for me to learn and make a great academic performance. So I think I I don't want to go to the park in the future.

✓ No, I don't. I am a senior student and I think I should spend most of my time studying important subjects to achieve strong academic performance, so I don't plan to go to the park in the future.

Several issues: 'I recognize it. No' is unnatural (sentence structure, ID 26). Missing article 'a' before 'senior student' (article errors, ID 22). 'Spend most of my time to learn' should be 'spend most of my time studying' (verb + -ing form, ID 8). 'Make a great academic performance' should be 'achieve strong academic performance' (incorrect use of nouns/adjectives, ID 13). 'I I don't want' has repetition and needs 'don't plan to' for future intention (future tense issue, ID 7). Suggestion: use 'spend time doing something' structure and include articles and clear phrasing for intentions.