公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Focus on producing a single clear topic sentence in past tense, correct grammar (was → were/when I was a child), avoid filler words and repetitions, and add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Keep under five sentences.

範例: Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child, especially with my brother. We spent hours on the swings and slides because the playground had many fun structures. Also, there were always lots of other children to play with, so we made friends easily.

建議: Give a direct topic sentence in present tense, reduce fillers (uh, like), and organize supporting details with linking words (for example, because, such as). Provide specific activities and one reason why you continue to go.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks now because they offer many activities for relaxation. For example, I often go walking there or spend time with my son and friends. In addition, the green environment helps me unwind after a busy day.

建議: State your opinion clearly and use correct singular/plural forms (parks). Use linking words to explain reasons (because, therefore) and give specific effects (reduce pollution, improve air quality). Avoid repeating words and filler sounds.

範例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because Bangkok has heavy traffic and high pollution. More parks with trees and plants would improve air quality and provide quiet places for people to relax. Therefore, expanding green spaces would benefit everyone's health.

建議: Begin with a clear plan statement (I plan to…) and use correct tense for past visits. Remove repeated words and unclear phrases. Mention the park name or location and give one or two specific reasons why you want to return, using linking words (for example, because, since).

範例: I plan to visit a park in Seoul, South Korea, in the future because I enjoyed it when I went there a few years ago. The park near the Han River had beautiful riverside paths and friendly people, so I would like to go back to relax and enjoy the scenery again.

× Of course, I love to show. No, I love to go. I love to go to the park when I was child.

✓ Of course, I loved going. No, I loved going to the park when I was a child.

This sentence mixes present tense 'love' with a past-time reference 'when I was child'. Use past tense 'loved' to match the time frame and correct article use 'a child'. Also combine phrases into natural 'loved going' rather than 'love to go' for fluency. Grammar problem type ID:6

× Actually, it's a playground.

✓ Actually, it had a playground.

The student is referring to the park as having a playground in past context. 'It's a playground' says the park itself is a playground; to clarify, use 'it had a playground' or 'there was a playground' to match past tense and intended meaning. Grammar problem type ID:3

× Like there are many things to do there and lots of friends there.

✓ There were many things to do there and I had lots of friends.

Because the time reference is past, use past tense 'were' and clarify subject 'I had' for friends. Also avoid repeating 'there' unnecessarily for clarity. Grammar problem type ID:11

× I still love to go to the park, even the activity exchange.

✓ I still love going to the park, even for community activities.

Use 'love going' for natural present habit and replace unclear phrase 'activity exchange' with 'community activities' or 'events'. Include preposition 'for' to connect purpose. Grammar problem type ID:6

× Yeah, but uh, like there are many activity, like new activities to do, like walking or like spend time with my son or my friend, something like this.

✓ There are many activities, such as walking or spending time with my son or my friends.

Use plural 'activities' for countable noun and parallel verb forms: 'walking' and 'spending'. Use 'friends' plural to match general meaning and remove filler 'like'. Grammar problem type ID:14

× Yes, I would love to see more park in my city because I live in Bangkok and there are lots of like traffic congestion, like pollution is a lot in park always come with trees and plants a lot.

✓ Yes, I would love to see more parks in my city because I live in Bangkok and there is a lot of traffic congestion and pollution. Parks usually have many trees and plants.

Use plural 'parks' when speaking generally. Use 'there is' for uncountable nouns 'a lot of traffic' and 'pollution'. Break into two sentences for clarity and use correct article 'many trees' for countable plural. Grammar problem type ID:22

× And yeah, that's why I I need more park.

✓ That's why I need more parks.

Remove duplicated 'I' and use plural 'parks' to match need for multiple green spaces. Keep present tense 'need' for current preference. Grammar problem type ID:26

× I plan to go to the park in Korea actually in Seoul actually like like several year I went there with my my friend and park as close to Han River.

✓ I plan to go to a park in Seoul, Korea. Several years ago I went there with my friend to a park near the Han River.

Split into two sentences to clarify plan and past experience. Use 'a park' for nonspecific park, 'several years ago' for past time, fix duplicated words and use 'near the Han River' for correct preposition. Grammar problem type ID:5

× It's like super good yet abroad men and people over there as everything is nice.

✓ It was great; the people there were friendly and everything was nice.

Use past tense 'was' to describe past visit. Replace unclear phrase 'abroad men' with 'the people there' and 'everything was nice' for clear meaning. Use proper sentence structure and punctuation. Grammar problem type ID:26

× I want to be there again.

✓ I want to go there again.

Use 'go there again' to express future intention to visit the place; 'want to be there again' is understandable but less natural in this context. Keep present tense 'want' for current desire. Grammar problem type ID:7