公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Focus on tense consistency, correct plural/singular forms, and reduce filler words. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Keep answers concise (max 4–5 sentences).

範例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. My family and I often cycled together there on weekends, and we usually visited a popular park near our home. I especially remember playing games with my sister on the grass, which made those weekends fun and relaxing.

建議: Use correct tense and smoother phrasing; avoid awkward expressions like 'over the moon' mixed with unclear grammar. Begin with a direct statement, then explain why with specific details and linking words. Remove redundant phrases.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. After a long day of studying, I often walk or sit in a park to relax because the fresh air and quiet paths help me relieve stress and clear my mind.

建議: Improve vocabulary accuracy (e.g., 'environmental' -> 'green spaces' or 'pleasant surroundings'), grammar (subject-verb agreement), and concise structure. Start with a topic sentence, then give two clear reasons using linking words like 'because' or 'so'.

範例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because more green spaces would improve air quality and offer residents places to relax. Also, parks provide opportunities for families to spend time together, which would make people in my village happier.

建議: Correct grammar (word order, prepositions, and verb forms), avoid repetition, and be specific about the park. Use a clear topic sentence, then add one or two supporting details (e.g., what you expect to see or do) with linking words.

範例: In the future, I would like to visit a park near the Gold Coast in Queensland, Australia. I have seen photos online of its beautiful beaches and coastal parklands, and I hope to walk along the shore, see native birds, and enjoy the scenery while I explore the area.

× Back then, when I was a child, I really enjoy going to the park with my families, especially in the weekends after the school days.

✓ Back then, when I was a child, I really enjoyed going to the park with my family, especially on weekends after school.

The speaker refers to past habitual action so use past tense 'enjoyed' (present tense issue). 'Families' is incorrect because 'family' (singular or collective) is used to refer to one's relatives. Use 'on weekends' not 'in the weekends' and 'after school' is the natural phrase. Suggestion: use past tense for past time frames and correct noun forms and prepositions.

× I went there for, uh, cycling with my families and my sister.

✓ I went there to cycle with my family and my sister.

After 'went there' the infinitive 'to cycle' is more natural than 'for cycling' in this context. 'Families' should be 'family'. Suggestion: use 'to' + base verb for purpose and correct singular collective noun.

× We usually go to the park near my homes.

✓ We usually went to the park near my home.

The context is childhood so past habitual 'went' fits (present tense issue). 'Homes' is incorrect; use 'home' to refer to one's residence. Suggestion: match tense to time frame and use correct noun form.

× In my teenage life, I really like to go to the park after I am very exhausted from my classwork.

✓ In my teenage years, I really liked going to the park after I was very exhausted from my classwork.

The sentence refers to past habitual teen behaviour so past tense 'liked' and 'was' should be used (present tense issue). Also 'teenage years' is the common phrase and 'liked going' is more natural. Suggestion: use past tense and idiomatic expressions.

× When I went to the park, I'm over the moon because I released my stress after doing struggle task from the school so.

✓ When I went to the park, I was over the moon because I released my stress after doing a difficult task from school.

Mixing past and present 'I'm' is incorrect; use past 'I was' to match 'went' (verb form issue). 'Released my stress' is acceptable but 'after doing a difficult task' is clearer than 'doing struggle task'. Include article 'a' and remove unnecessary 'so'. Suggestion: keep tense consistent and use appropriate adjective and article.

× Of course, I really, really want to see the great environmentals surrounding my cities.

✓ Of course, I really, really want to see great environments surrounding my city.

'Environmentals' is not correct; use 'environments' or 'environmental surroundings'. 'Cities' should be 'city' if referring to the speaker's city. Suggestion: choose proper noun forms and pluralization for meaning.

× And one more thing that I really want because I want to see the people in my village happy by going to the park, enjoying time with their families, and that make me happy too.

✓ And one more thing I really want is to see the people in my village happy by going to the park and enjoying time with their families, and that makes me happy too.

The original has incorrect clause structure; add 'is' to complete 'one more thing I really want is...'. 'That make me happy' must be 'that makes me happy' to agree with singular subject 'that' (pronoun/subject-verb agreement). Suggestion: include linking verb 'is' and ensure subject-verb agreement.

× In the future I want to go to the park that located near Gold Coast, Brisbane of Australia.

✓ In the future I want to go to the park that is located near the Gold Coast, Brisbane, Australia.

The relative clause needs a verb 'is located' (verb omission/present tense) and include article 'the' with 'Gold Coast'. Also 'Brisbane, Australia' is the correct place order. Suggestion: use complete relative clauses and proper place names with articles.

× Actually Australia is my dream place so I searching online for the parts that near where I really want to leave.

✓ Actually, Australia is my dream place, so I searched online for the parts that are near where I really want to live.

Tense inconsistency: 'is' is fine but 'I searching' should be past 'I searched' to match narrative; could also use 'I search' for present habitual. 'Parts' should be 'parks' (typo) and 'leave' should be 'live'. Also insert 'are' in relative clause. Suggestion: correct verb forms, typos, and use appropriate tense for the narrative.

× So it's a very gorgeous and stunning park I ever.

✓ So it's the most gorgeous and stunning park I have ever seen.

The original sentence lacks auxiliary verbs and comparative structure. Use 'the most' with superlatives and 'I have ever seen' to complete the thought. Suggestion: use present perfect 'have seen' for life experience and proper superlative form.