公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid filler words (uh) and incomplete sentences. Also correct tense and phrasing (e.g. "used to" rather than "in the past I always").

範例: Yes, I used to go to the park almost every weekend when I was a child. For example, my family visited a nearby park two days each weekend where I played on the swings and fed ducks, which helped me stay active and happy.

建議: Provide a clear topic sentence and correct verb forms, reduce repetition (avoid repeating "definitely" and filler words). Add a linking word to connect the general statement and specific activities. Be specific about frequency or situations if possible.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. If I have free time, I often go with friends to ride bicycles and do some birdwatching, which helps me relax and reduce stress.

建議: Use a complete topic sentence and correct grammar ("they help" not "it's help"). Avoid vague phrasing and filler words. Provide one specific reason and a short example or consequence to support your opinion, using a linking word like "because" or "so".

範例: Yes, I would. More parks would be very useful because they give people green space to relax from busy work; for example, adults could exercise or parents could take children out on weekends.

建議: Give a clearer direct answer first, then add a specific condition or detail. Avoid unclear phrases and run-on sentences. Use correct structures for uncertainty ("I'm not sure" / "If I learn more, I might visit").

範例: I'm not sure at the moment because I don't know which parks are famous near me. If I learn about a well-known park, I might visit it when I have time, especially if it has interesting features like lakes or walking trails.

× In the past I always went to the park like every week for a 2 day per week on the weekend.

✓ In the past I always went to the park every weekend for two days.

The original sentence has awkward phrasing and a quantifier issue. 'Like' is informal and unnecessary; 'every week for a 2 day per week on the weekend' is ungrammatical. Use simple past 'went' (correct) and a clear time expression 'every weekend for two days' to convey frequency and duration.

× But nowadays since I moved to UH schools in other province, I have to uh be the boarding student so I.

✓ But nowadays, since I moved to a university in another province, I have to be a boarding student.

The sentence fragment 'so I.' is incomplete. 'UH schools' is unclear; use 'a university' or the institution name. Use 'in another province' not 'in other province'. Remove filler 'uh' and the trailing fragment to form a complete present perfect context 'since I moved' followed by present obligation 'I have to be a boarding student.'

× Definitely yes. If I have enough times, I will definitely go to the park with my friends, ride a bicycle and maybe, uh, do the bird watching.

✓ Definitely yes. If I have enough time, I will definitely go to the park with my friends, ride a bicycle and maybe do some bird watching.

Use singular uncountable 'time' instead of 'times' for availability. Remove filler 'uh'. 'Do the bird watching' is awkward; use 'do some bird watching' or 'go bird-watching.' The conditional 'If I have enough time, I will...' correctly matches future intention.

× I think it's helped me to relax and uh, reduce stress.

✓ I think it has helped me to relax and reduce stress.

Use present perfect 'has helped' to link past experiences to the present. Remove filler 'uh'. Keep parallel infinitive forms 'to relax and reduce stress.'

× Absolutely. I think it is very, uh, useful. It's help people to relax from busy work.

✓ Absolutely. I think it is very useful. It helps people relax from busy work.

'It's help' is incorrect: third-person singular present needs 'helps.' Remove filler 'uh.' Also, 'relax from busy work' is acceptable but could be 'relax after busy work' or 'relieve work-related stress.'

× If there's, uh, more parts in my city, I think most of people will be happy.

✓ If there are more parks in my city, I think most people will be happy.

'Parts' is incorrect word choice; should be 'parks.' 'There's' (there is) with plural noun should be 'there are.' Remove filler 'uh.' Also 'most of people' is incorrect; use 'most people.'

× Are there any parks you want to go to in the future?

✓ Are there any parks you would like to go to in the future?

The original is understandable but more natural phrasing for a polite future preference uses 'would like.' This matches the question context better.

× Well honestly I don't know like where is the famous park or well known park and not only the park in my city is so I prefer staying my busy but if I learned more I may go to there.

✓ Well, honestly I don't know where the famous or well-known parks are, and not only in my city. I'm very busy, so I prefer to stay here, but if I learn more, I may go there.

The original contains multiple issues: incorrect word order 'where is the famous park' should be 'where the famous park is'; missing plural 'parks' for general reference; 'well known' should be hyphenated 'well-known' as an adjective; 'not only the park in my city is' is unclear—rephrased as 'and not only in my city.' 'I prefer staying my busy' is ungrammatical; use 'I'm very busy, so I prefer to stay here.' 'If I learned more' should be 'if I learn more' or 'if I find out more' to match future possibility; 'go to there' should be 'go there.'

× It's help people to relax from busy work.

✓ It helps people relax from busy work.

Third-person singular subject 'it' requires the verb form 'helps.' Also use the bare infinitive 'relax' after 'helps' rather than 'to relax.'