公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific reason and a brief example. Avoid repetition and idiomatic phrases that may sound unsure ("I think"). Use linking words to connect ideas.

範例: Not really. I preferred staying at home and playing with my toys because I enjoyed building models and reading. For example, I spent most weekends assembling Lego sets, so parks never appealed to me.

建議: Provide a clearer topic sentence then one or two specific reasons or activities you do in parks. Avoid repeating phrases like "right now". Use a linking word to contrast past and present.

範例: Yes, I do. Although I disliked parks as a child, I now enjoy them because I like walking and relaxing outdoors. For instance, I often go to a nearby park to jog and read on a bench.

建議: Answer directly then give a specific reason and an example of what you'd like (e.g. pocket parks, playgrounds). Avoid filler words and repeated phrases. Use linking words such as "because" or "for example" to add coherence.

範例: Yes, I would. Although the city already has several large parks, I would like more small neighborhood parks because they're convenient for families. For example, adding pocket parks with playgrounds near apartment blocks would be very helpful.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence about the park you want to revisit and include specific details (name or features) and a brief reason why you want to return. Avoid repeating the same phrase twice.

範例: Yes, I would like to return to a large park I visited in Denmark when I was 16. It had winding lakes and tall pines, and I'd like to go back to enjoy the scenery and take photos this time.

× I think I'm an indoor cat or I was an indoor cat.

✓ I think I'm an indoor cat.

The sentence mixes present and past by saying 'I think I'm' (present) followed by 'or I was' (past), which is inconsistent. Use the present tense to match 'I think'. Suggestion: keep the present form 'I'm an indoor cat' for clarity and consistency.

× Although I didn't like going to parks when I was a child, right now I'm a grown adult and I quite enjoy going to parks right now.

✓ Although I didn't like going to parks when I was a child, I'm a grown adult now and I quite enjoy going to parks.

The sentence redundantly uses 'right now' twice and mixes timing phrasing. Use 'now' once and place it correctly after the clause. Also remove duplicate 'right now' for conciseness.

× When I was about 16, I went to a very beautiful, very large park at Denmark and I would love to go there again.

✓ When I was about 16, I went to a very beautiful, very large park in Denmark and I would love to go there again.

English uses 'in' with countries and larger regions (not 'at Denmark'). Use 'in Denmark' to indicate location within the country.

× We have a lot of parks in my city actually. We also have very big ones, very large ones, but it's always nice to see trees. So yes, I I would love to see more parks in my city.

✓ We have a lot of parks in my city, actually. We also have very big ones, very large ones, but it's always nice to see trees. So yes, I would love to see more parks in my city.

The original has a duplicated 'I' ('I I') which is a typographical/repetition error; not a grammar list item but fits article/errors grouping here. Also add a comma before 'actually' for natural rhythm. Remove the extra 'I'.

× We have a lot of parks in my city actually.

✓ We have a lot of parks in my city, actually.

Although 'We have' is correct, the sentence benefits from punctuation to separate the adverb 'actually'. This preserves subject-verb agreement and improves clarity. The issue flagged to ensure correct agreement and natural phrasing.