公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Improve grammar, sentence structure and clarity. Begin with a clear topic sentence, use past tense consistently, add 1–2 specific supporting details and a linking word. Avoid redundancy and unclear phrases.

範例: Yes. I enjoyed going to parks as a child because my family often had weekend picnics there. For example, we would bring food, play games, and I loved riding the small merry-go-round. These outings were a happy part of my childhood.

建議: Use a direct topic sentence answering the question, keep tense consistent, and avoid confusing words (pub vs park). Give one clear reason with a linking word and one specific example of when you might visit a park.

範例: Not really. I rarely visit parks now because I need to focus on my studies and work. However, if I have a free weekend, I might go for a short picnic or to sketch landscapes to relax.

建議: Answer directly and use clearer nouns and adjectives (green spaces/nature instead of 'power'). Provide a reason with linking words and one specific benefit for the community. Avoid unrelated or unclear comments.

範例: Yes, I would. More parks would provide green space and recreational areas for families, which would improve air quality and community health. For instance, children could play safely and adults could exercise or relax outdoors.

建議: Clarify the meaning and answer the question directly. If you mean parks you want to visit, list 1–2 specific parks or types of parks and explain why. Use simple, correct vocabulary and avoid unrelated medical terms or unclear expressions.

範例: Yes, I would like to visit a botanical garden and a large city park in the future because I enjoy seeing different plants and I find large parks peaceful for walking and taking photos.

× Yes, I really like going to park as a child because when I was childhood I always go to the park with my family and I go there to have a picnic, to have a lot of something that I want to do when like ride by, that's all.

✓ Yes, I really liked going to parks as a child because when I was a child I always went to the park with my family to have a picnic and do many things I wanted to do, like riding bikes.

Multiple tense and noun-number problems: 'like going to park as a child' should be 'liked' (past habit) and 'parks' or 'the park'; 'when I was childhood' is incorrect word order and article use — correct is 'when I was a child'; 'I always go' should be past tense 'I always went'; 'to have a lot of something that I want to do when like ride by' is ungrammatical — rephrase to 'to do many things I wanted to do, like riding bikes'. Suggestion: use past tense consistently for past habits, use articles with 'child' and plural for general places, and simplify list of activities into clear gerunds or infinitives.

× I think no, I don't because I think I want to focus on my study, my life, my career, job and my future job, so I don't have time to go to pub.

✓ I don't now because I want to focus on my studies, my life and my career, so I don't have time to go to the park.

Tense and count errors and wrong word choice: 'I think no, I don't' is awkward — use 'I don't now' or 'Not really'; 'my study' should be plural or 'my studies'; 'career, job and my future job' is repetitive — simplify to 'my career'; 'go to pub' is incorrect article and wrong place — should be 'go to the park' if referring to parks. Suggestion: choose single clear nouns, keep present tense for current habits, and use correct articles ('the park') or plural 'parks'.

× When I go to pub, if I go to pub, I will go to picnic, to arrive by, to draw a picture something.

✓ If I go to the park, I will have a picnic, ride a bicycle and draw pictures.

Modal/phrase choice and verb form errors: 'When I go to pub, if I go to pub' is repetitive and uses wrong article — 'the park'; 'go to picnic' should be 'have a picnic'; 'arrive by' is nonsensical here — likely 'ride a bike'; 'draw a picture something' should be 'draw pictures'. Suggestion: use correct verbs and collocations (have a picnic, ride a bike), remove repetition, and maintain conditional structure 'If I go... I will...'.

× Don't like that?

✓ Don't you like that?

Missing subject: question lacks the subject 'you'. 'Don't like that?' is informal and ungrammatical in standard English. Suggestion: include the subject and auxiliary verb for questions: 'Don't you like that?'. Use full question forms in formal responses.

× Yes I would like because when they when the city have a lot of power, we have a lot of natural, a lot of fun, a lot of kids to play their self.

✓ Yes, I would, because when a city has many parks, we have a lot of nature, fun, and places for children to play by themselves.

Multiple structure and word choice errors: 'when they when the city have' is redundant and wrong subject-verb agreement — use 'when a city has'; 'a lot of power' is incorrect for parks — likely 'parks'; 'a lot of natural' should be 'a lot of nature'; 'a lot of kids to play their self' should be 'places for children to play by themselves' and 'themselves' (reflexive) must agree. Suggestion: correct subject-verb agreement, use correct nouns (parks, nature), and proper reflexive pronoun 'themselves'.

× It make me fresh and make me feel good.

✓ It makes me feel refreshed and makes me feel good.

Subject-verb agreement and word form: 'It make' should be 'It makes' (third person singular). 'Fresh' used as result is unnatural — use 'refreshed'. Suggestion: ensure third-person singular verbs take -s and choose appropriate adjective forms.

× The song make me ho hilarious.

✓ The atmosphere makes me feel happy and relaxed.

Unclear and incorrect words: 'The song make me ho hilarious' is ungrammatical and unclear. Likely intent was to express joy or amusement; 'make' needs third-person 'makes' and 'ho hilarious' is meaningless. Suggestion: use clear vocabulary like 'happy', 'cheerful', or 'relaxed' and correct verb form.

× There are three-part that I won't go to in the future because you know when I have a lot of park that make me feel I'm depressed because I feel more phrase, I feel more GERD and more reliable.

✓ There are three parks that I won't go to in the future because when there are many parks I feel depressed and more stressed, and I feel less relaxed.

Article and noun errors, plus vocabulary issues: 'three-part' should be 'three parks'; 'when I have a lot of park' should be 'when there are many parks' or 'when I have a lot of parks'; 'that make me feel I'm depressed' needs 'that make me feel depressed'; 'I feel more phrase, I feel more GERD and more reliable' contains unclear words ('phrase', 'GERD' and 'reliable' misused). Likely intent was to say they feel stressed or overwhelmed. Suggestion: use correct plural nouns, correct clause structures ('that make me feel...'), and choose accurate emotion vocabulary like 'stressed', 'overwhelmed', 'depressed', or 'less relaxed'.