公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Cevap doğrudan ve samimi ancak dilbilgisi ve akıcılık üzerinde çalışmalısınız. "I was getting very excited" gibi ifadeler yerine basit past tense kullanmak daha doğal olur. Ayrıca gereksiz tekrarları azaltın (ör. "because that was the most fun, I feel"). Bir konu cümlesiyle başlayın, ardından bir veya iki destekleyici ayrıntı ekleyin ve toplam cümle sayısını 3–4 ile sınırlayın. Öneriler: geçmişteki duyguyu ifade etmek için "I loved" veya "I was excited to" kullanın; nedenlerden biri olarak belirli bir anıyı kısaca ekleyin.

範例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I was usually excited because my family would have picnics there and I could play on the swings. Those visits were my favorite part of weekends.

建議: İyi fikirleri var ama cümle yapıları ve bağlaç kullanımı geliştirilmeli. "parks have their own energy" gibi ifadeler doğal ama daha spesifik örnek eklemek daha ikna edici olur. Ayrıca tense ve tekil/çoğul uyumuna dikkat edin ("it reminds me good memories" → "they remind me of good memories"). Bağlaçlarla cümleleri mantıklı şekilde bağlayın (for example, because, so).

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they remind me of childhood memories. Also, since I live in a big city, I often need green spaces to relax and breathe fresh air, so I visit parks whenever I can.

建議: Güçlü görüş ve sebep sunuyorsunuz; fakat daha düzenli ve daha az gündelik ifade kullanmalısınız. "have a fresh air" → "get fresh air"; "spending bucks" gibi ifadeler yerine daha resmi kelimeler kullanın ("paying" veya "entrance fees"). Ayrıca son cümlenizde bir öneri veya çözüm sunarsanız cevap daha etkileyici olur.

範例: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because it is very crowded and people need places to get fresh air and spend time with family. In my neighborhood there are no free natural parks, so residents often have to pay entrance fees, which I think is unfair; the city should provide more free public green spaces.

建議: Fikirler iyi ancak cümleler çok uzun ve bağlantı zayıf. Park isimlerini ve sebeplerinizi açık, kısa cümlelerle verin. Gramer hatalarını düzeltin ("I have Joseph Parks" belirsiz; muhtemelen "several parks, like Joshua Tree" demek istediniz). Noktalama ve cümle bölme ile akıcılığı artırın. Spesifik bir örnek ve kısa sebep ekleyin.

範例: Yes, I have several parks on my travel list. For instance, I would love to visit Yosemite National Park in the USA because of its waterfalls and giant sequoias. I also want to see Iceland for its unique landscapes, such as glaciers and volcanic scenery.

× When I was a child I was getting very excited to go to the park with my family because that was the most fun, I feel.

✓ When I was a child I got very excited to go to the park with my family because that was the most fun, I feel.

The progressive past 'was getting' is incorrect for a habitual or general past feeling; use simple past 'got'. Also 'I feel' is present and awkward after a past description; consider 'I felt' or rephrase. Suggestion: use 'I felt' if you mean it was your feeling then, or 'it was the most fun, I think' for present opinion.

× Yes I do because parks have their own energy and it reminds me good memories from my childhood and most of the times I'm feeling like I need a natural environment because I'm living in a big city.

✓ Yes, I do because parks have their own energy and they remind me of good memories from my childhood, and most of the time I feel like I need a natural environment because I live in a big city.

Multiple errors: 'it reminds me good memories' needs plural subject agreement and preposition 'of' -> 'they remind me of good memories' (subject-verb agreement and preposition). 'Most of the times' should be 'most of the time' or 'most times'. Present progressive 'I'm feeling' and 'I'm living' are unnecessary for states; use simple present 'I feel' and 'I live'. Suggestions: use simple present for general truths and correct preposition 'of'.

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because I'm living in a very crowded city and there is not enough space for people to just have a fresh air, spending time with their loved ones, etcetera.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because I live in a very crowded city and there is not enough space for people to just have fresh air, spend time with their loved ones, etc.

'There is not enough space' is acceptable but 'have a fresh air' is incorrect article use and collocation; use 'have fresh air' or simply 'get fresh air'. Also 'spending time' should match the structure 'to spend time' after 'for people to'. Use simple present 'I live' for a general fact. Suggestion: use infinitive form after 'space for people to' and omit 'a' before 'fresh air'.

× Also, in my neighborhood we don't have access to stay in a natural park without spending bucks.

✓ Also, in my neighborhood we don't have access to stay in a natural park without spending money.

'Spending bucks' is informal and 'access to stay in a natural park' is awkward collocation. Use 'access to' plus noun (e.g., 'access to natural parks') or say 'we don't have access to stay' -> better: 'we don't have access to natural parks without paying' or 'without spending money'. Suggestion: replace 'bucks' with 'money' or 'paying' and use natural collocations.

× I think it's not fair to be forced to spend money for socializing.

✓ I think it's not fair to be forced to spend money to socialize.

Use 'to' + verb (to socialize) rather than 'for socializing' after 'spend money'. 'Forced to' is fine. Suggestion: use infinitive for purpose or reason: 'to socialize'.

× Yes, I have Joseph Parks in my list that I want to go see one day.

✓ Yes, I have Joseph Park on my list that I want to visit one day.

'Joseph Parks' likely should be 'Joseph Park' (singular proper noun) and 'in my list' should be 'on my list'. 'Go see' is colloquial; 'visit' is better. Suggestion: use correct place name and preposition 'on my list'.

× Most of them are in the USA, for example Yosemite National Park in my list for a long time I have interest in nature so that's why I also want to go to Iceland for their unique and magnificent nature.

✓ Most of them are in the USA, for example Yosemite National Park. It has been on my list for a long time. I have an interest in nature, so I also want to go to Iceland for its unique and magnificent nature.

Run-on sentence that needs splitting. 'Yosemite National Park in my list for a long time' lacks verb and preposition: use 'It has been on my list for a long time.' 'I have interest in nature' needs article: 'an interest' or 'I am interested in nature.' 'Their unique... nature' incorrectly uses plural possessive for a country; use 'its'. Suggestions: split into sentences, use 'has been on my list', 'I am interested in nature' or 'I have an interest in nature', and 'its' for Iceland.