公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Your answer is clear and relevant with good personal detail, but it is slightly redundant and could be more concise. Aim for a single clear topic sentence followed by one or two supporting details. Use varied vocabulary (e.g. “playground equipment” instead of repeating “rides”) and avoid repeating phrases like “I used to”.

範例: Yes — I loved going to parks as a child. I often went there with my parents and siblings, and I spent hours on the swings and slides. Those visits were fun and helped me make friends in the neighbourhood.

建議: Your main idea is clear, but hesitations and informal filler words (“na uh re”) reduce fluency. Shorten and organise the response: start with a topic sentence, then give one reason and a small supporting detail. Use linking words like “but” or “however” correctly and avoid unnecessary fillers.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. However, I rarely go now because I am busy focusing on my job and career. When I do visit a park, I go to relax and clear my mind.

建議: Good structure and a relevant opinion with reasons. Improve clarity by avoiding vague phrases and slightly informal wording (“recklessly removing”, “they are the happy things”). Be specific about benefits (air quality, recreation) and use linking words like “because” and “therefore”.

範例: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because urban development has reduced green space. Parks improve air quality, provide places for exercise and relaxation, and help communities socialise, so we should protect and create more of them.

建議: Your answer communicates the idea but is wordy and contains grammatical errors (“visit to”, “in near in future time”). Make the response concise: state the main point, give a brief reason and an example plan. Use correct verb forms and simpler time phrases like “in the future” or “if a new park opens.”

範例: Not at the moment — there isn’t a particular park I plan to visit. If the city builds a new park in the future, I would definitely go there with my friends to explore it and spend the afternoon together.

× Yes, definitely I like going to parks na uh re in recent time also, but I didn't get enough time because I need to focus on my job and my career right now.

✓ Yes, definitely. I still like going to parks recently, but I haven't had enough time because I need to focus on my job and my career right now.

The sentence mixes tenses and includes filler sounds. Use present perfect ('haven't had') to indicate limited time up to now. Replace 'in recent time' with 'recently' and remove fillers 'na uh re'. Ensure punctuation and sentence division for clarity.

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because as climate is changing and the government is developing the cities, they are recklessly removing the parks.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because the climate is changing and, as the government develops the city, it is removing parks recklessly.

Use 'the climate' for a general reference and correct tense/structure for the government action. Keep consistent singular 'city' and match subject with verb ('it is removing' or 'they are removing' if plural). Rearranged for clarity and natural English order.

× They are the happy things around in the city, so I think for our better environment.

✓ Parks are important for the city's well-being, so I think we need them for a better environment.

Replace vague pronoun 'they' and awkward phrase 'the happy things around in the city' with a clear subject 'Parks' and natural expression 'important for the city's well-being'. Use 'we need them' to indicate purpose and correct word order.

× I don't think there are any specific park right now in my mind that I need to visit in the future, but definitely I would visit to any specific park that has been developed in near in future time by the government and I would take my friends there.

✓ I don't have any specific park in mind that I need to visit in the future, but I would definitely visit any new park the government develops soon and take my friends there.

Original has word order and tense problems. Use 'have in mind' for common expression, simplify 'any new park the government develops soon' for natural future reference, remove unnecessary 'to' after 'visit', and use 'definitely' in a natural position. Ensure verbs match intended meaning.