公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be careful with verb tense and sentence structure. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, avoid fragmented sentences, correct word choice (e.g. 'as a bun' → 'as a family' is redundant since you repeat family; remove repetition). Use one or two supporting details with linking words. Aim for 2–3 well-formed sentences.

範例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. My family and I often visited local parks on weekends, where we played games and had picnics together, which created many happy memories.

建議: Use present tense for current habits and keep sentences concise. Avoid repeatedly saying 'now'. Correct grammar (e.g. 'I haven't gone to parks now' → 'I don't go to parks much these days'; 'my family don't' → 'my family doesn't'). Provide a brief reason with a linking phrase.

範例: Not really. I don't go to parks much these days because I'm busy with my nursing studies, and my family members also have tight schedules, so we rarely have time to visit parks.

建議: Be more precise with vocabulary ('amusement parks' vs 'public parks') and avoid informal fillers like 'kinda'. Start with a direct opinion, then give specific reason and an example. Use linking words such as 'because' or 'for example'.

範例: Yes, I would. I think more public parks would be beneficial because they provide safe outdoor spaces for families. For example, a small playground or green area near residential neighborhoods would encourage parents to bring children out more often.

建議: Answer directly and avoid contradictions (don't say 'haven't thought' then name a place). Use correct terms (Disneyland is an amusement park/theme park). Provide a brief reason why you want to visit and maybe one detail about it.

範例: Yes, I would like to visit Hong Kong Disneyland in the future. I've heard the themed attractions and shows are very impressive, and I think it would be a fun experience to visit with my family.

× Yes, I absolutely love going to parks as a child and we often do it as a bun.

✓ Yes, I absolutely loved going to parks as a child and we often did it as a family.

The student is describing past habitual actions, so past tense 'loved' and 'did' should be used rather than present 'love' and 'do'. Also 'bun' is incorrect word choice; 'family' fits context. Suggest using past simple for childhood habits and selecting appropriate nouns.

× As a family.

✓ We went as a family.

This sentence fragment lacks a verb. Combine with previous sentence or add a verb ('went') to form a complete sentence. Ensure subject and verb are present.

× We together go there and just enjoy our time together and have some fun.

✓ We went there together and just enjoyed our time and had some fun.

Tense mismatch: describing past events requires past forms ('went', 'enjoyed', 'had'). Also adverb 'together' should follow the verb. Use consistent past tense and place adverbs correctly.

× Well I haven't gone to parks now because I was busy with my nursing and also my family don't have the time so I don't usually go to parks now.

✓ Well, I haven't been going to parks recently because I have been busy with my nursing, and my family doesn't have the time, so I don't usually go now.

Multiple issues: 'haven't gone to parks now' is awkward; use 'haven't been going' or 'haven't gone recently' for recent habits. 'Was busy' should match present perfect continuous 'have been busy' for ongoing situation. Subject-verb agreement: 'my family doesn't' not 'don't'. Remove redundant 'to parks' in last clause. Use consistent tense for ongoing circumstances.

× Yes, of course, I would love to see more parks, especially that now we don't have much amusement parks to go to and that is kinda sad because it can really bring families together.

✓ Yes, of course, I would love to see more parks, especially because we don't have many amusement parks to go to, and that is kind of sad because they can really bring families together.

'Much' with countable plural 'amusement parks' is incorrect; use 'many'. 'That now' is awkward; 'because' is better. 'Kinda' is informal; use 'kind of'. Pronoun agreement: use 'they' to refer to parks. These changes correct quantifier usage, formality, and clarity.

× Well, I haven't thought about it, but I think parks that would like to go to in the future would be in Hong Kong, which is Disneyland.

✓ Well, I haven't thought about it, but I think a park I would like to go to in the future is Disneyland in Hong Kong.

Sentence structure unclear and pronoun reference wrong. Use 'a park I would like to go to' not 'parks that would like to go to'. Place 'in Hong Kong' after 'Disneyland' for clarity. Maintain correct verb form 'would like'.

× I think that would be great.

✓ I think that would be great.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable. It uses a modal 'would' to express a hypothetical preference, which fits the context, so no change is needed.