公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and use a clear topic sentence. Avoid fillers (uh, you know) and grammatical errors (tense and articles). Give one or two specific details about what you did in the park using linking words. Keep it within 2–4 sentences.

範例: Yes. Parks were my favorite place as a child because I could play football and climb trees there. For example, I used to meet my friends every weekend and we would spend hours on the swings and playing hide-and-seek.

建議: Start with a direct topic sentence and then give specific activities and reasons. Use linking words (for example, such as, and) and correct noun forms (the park/parks). Avoid vague phrases like "go everywhere." Keep responses cohesive and under five sentences.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. For example, I often go jogging there in the mornings, and I also like walking with friends because it helps me relax and get fresh air.

建議: Give a clear opinion and reason, avoid asking a question back to the examiner, and eliminate hesitation. Use linking words (because, so) and specific reasons (health, community, green space). Keep it to 1–3 sentences.

範例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide green space for exercise and community events. For instance, new parks could encourage people to be more active and improve air quality.

建議: Answer directly with a clear plan and use correct verb forms. Mention specific park name and a reason why you want to visit (e.g., attractions, size, history). Use linking words like because or since to explain. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

範例: Yes, I would like to visit the Taman Mini or Mancas Park in Jakarta because I have heard it has beautiful gardens and cultural exhibits. I want to explore different parks outside my city to learn about new landscapes and relax.

× Yeah, of course I like to play around Park, uh, would be my favorite place to go to play and to enjoy my childhood, you know, in probably my, my city, uh, there is the most, uh, you know, famous park.

✓ Yeah, of course I liked to play around the park; it was my favorite place to go and enjoy my childhood. In my city there was the most famous park.

The student mixes present and past tenses when talking about childhood. Use past tense (liked, was) to describe habitual actions in the past. Also add the definite article 'the' before 'park' when referring to a specific place, and remove filler words for clarity. Suggestion: Use simple past for past habits (I liked to play, it was my favorite). Use 'the' for specific nouns (the park).

× Absolutely, I like to go everywhere, including park.

✓ Absolutely, I like to go everywhere, including the park.

When referring to a specific place type generally, use the definite article 'the' before 'park'. The present tense 'like' is fine here because the student describes current preferences. Suggestion: Add 'the' before places like 'park' when speaking generally about that type of location (including the park).

× There are a lot of things that we can do apart like jogging, running or just walking around and also we can have fun with our friends to feel fresh air.

✓ There are a lot of things we can do apart from that, like jogging, running, or just walking around; we can also have fun with our friends and enjoy the fresh air.

The phrase 'apart like' is incorrect. Use 'apart from that' or 'besides' to introduce examples. Also 'to feel fresh air' is unnatural; use 'enjoy the fresh air'. Reorder clauses for clearer flow and add commas between list items. Suggestion: Use 'apart from' to contrast, 'like' to introduce examples, and 'enjoy the fresh air' for natural expression.

× Oh yeah, of course, umm, the new parts would be so great, but I, I don't think that it could uh, different or complete the company.

✓ Oh yeah, of course, new parks would be great, but I don't think they would be very different or complete the city.

The student uses 'parts' and 'company' incorrectly. Likely meant 'parks' and 'city'. Use plural agreement 'parks' with 'would be'. 'Complete the company' is semantically wrong; 'complete the city' makes sense. Also use consistent conditional modal 'would'. Suggestion: Check noun choice and subject-verb agreement; use 'parks' and 'they' when referring to parks, and 'city' instead of 'company' if referring to urban completeness.

× Wow. Who is the most uh, which one is the most famous park in Ballenbang?

✓ Which one is the most famous park in Ballenbang?

The original repeats question forms and includes filler words. Use a single clear question form 'Which one is the most famous park in Ballenbang?'. Suggestion: Avoid repeating question words and remove fillers for clarity.

× Yeah, but I think my next park will be go, uh will be visited, will be in Jakarta or we call it as Manas.

✓ Yeah, but I think the next park I will visit will be in Jakarta, or what we call Manas.

The original has incorrect verb sequence 'will be go' and 'will be visited'. Use 'I will visit' for future action. Also use 'what we call Manas' instead of 'we call it as Manas'. Suggestion: For future plans use 'I will [verb]' or 'I am going to [verb]'; avoid redundant 'will be' constructions and use 'what we call' when introducing a local name.

× So I like to explore more other parts outside my city.

✓ So I would like to explore more parks outside my city.

The student says 'I like to explore more other parts' which is awkward and possibly mismatched tense. For a future desire 'would like' or 'want to' is more natural: 'I would like to explore more parks outside my city.' Also replace 'parts' with 'parks' for clarity. Suggestion: Use 'would like to' for polite future intentions and choose the correct noun ('parks').