公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 答えは肯定的で内容もあるが、文法ミス、語順の不自然さ、省略された語や曖昧な表現が目立ちます。より明確で自然なトピックセンテンス（短く直接に）を使い、続けて理由や具体例を1〜2文で述べ、不要な語の繰り返しを避けてください。また冠詞や前置詞、関係代名詞（which/that）の使い方、文の完結に注意しましょう。

範例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. My favourite park in my hometown was very large and full of beautiful trees and flowers. I often went there with my mother, and we enjoyed picnics and walking along the lake.

建議: 良い点は現在の習慣と最近の変化を述べている点です。ただし文法（動詞の一致、前置詞、関係詞の誤用）や文の終わりの未完が問題です。論理を明確にするために接続詞を使い、原因や結果を具体的に説明してください。短くても文を完結させることを心がけましょう。

範例: Yes, I do. I often visit a park near my house, and recently I have started going there to study English because I can sometimes practise speaking with local people.

建議: 意見は示せていますが、語法と語順の誤り（wish staying the same）、冗長な表現、冠詞や時制のミスが多いです。短く明確な意見文（トピックセンテンス）を最初に置き、理由を一つか二つ具体的に述べてください。適切な接続語で文章をつなぎ、冗長な語を省きましょう。

範例: Not really. I think Vancouver already has many parks, so I would prefer things to stay as they are because residents can easily enjoy picnics and outdoor activities.

建議: 意図は伝わりますが不自然な表現（the states、the best theme park in the world）、文の未完、冗長さ、比較級や定冠詞の誤用があります。目的地や理由を具体的にし、文を完結させてください。計画や同行者についても簡潔に述べると良いです。

範例: Yes. I would like to visit a famous theme park in the United States in the future because it is well known for its exciting rides. I am planning to go there with some friends next summer.

× There is my favorite park in my hometown which is a huge with a lot of beautiful nature.

✓ My favorite park in my hometown is a huge park with a lot of beautiful nature.

The sentence misuses 'There is' and omits the noun after 'huge'. Use a subject-first structure: 'My favorite park ... is ...'. Include the noun 'park' after 'huge' to complete the noun phrase. Also 'There is' is unnecessary here.

× I really liked going there with my mother as my.

✓ I really liked going there with my mother.

The fragment 'as my' is incomplete and creates a sentence structure error. Remove the extraneous words to form a complete, grammatical sentence: subject + verb + object/adverbial phrase.

× Definitely, I often visit a park near my house and recently I started to visit there to study English because sometimes the local people talks to me which.

✓ Definitely. I often visit a park near my house, and recently I started visiting it to study English because sometimes local people talk to me.

Multiple issues: 'visit there' is incorrect — use 'visit it' or 'visit the park' or use '-ing' after 'started' (started visiting). 'Local people talks' violates subject-verb agreement; use 'talk'. The clause ending with 'which' is incomplete and should be removed or integrated. Also split into two sentences or use a comma for clarity.

× Not really, to be honest. I wish staying the same in Vancouver because it has and already has a lot of parks nearby so that we can enjoy picnic or outdoor activities.

✓ Not really, to be honest. I wish Vancouver would stay the same because it already has a lot of parks nearby so we can enjoy picnics and outdoor activities.

'I wish staying' is incorrect; after 'wish' we normally use a past tense or modal structure ('I wish Vancouver would stay...'). Remove the extra 'and'. Use plural 'picnics' and include 'would' for a hypothetical desire. Also reorder 'already' before 'has' or place it as 'already has'.

× Yes, I want to go to a theme park in the states in the future because it is famous for the best theme park in the world and I'm now planning to go there with my friends from.

✓ Yes, I want to go to a theme park in the States in the future because it is famous for being one of the best theme parks in the world, and I'm now planning to go there with my friends.

Use the proper name capitalization 'States' for 'the States' (United States). 'Famous for the best theme park' is awkward; use 'famous for being one of the best theme parks'. Remove the trailing 'from' which is incomplete. Also add a comma before 'and' for clarity.