公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more grammatical, concise and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid sentence fragments and repetition, correct verb forms and pronouns, and add a brief specific detail. Use one or two linking words if adding detail.

範例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often went with my older sister and we would stroll along the paths while chatting about school and our friends.

建議: Avoid repeating connectors and reduce redundancy. Use correct tense and infinitive forms (e.g., 'to relax'), and keep it within 3–4 sentences: a topic sentence plus a brief reason and an example of what you do there.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy parks, but recently I have been too busy to visit often. When I have free time, I usually go to the nearby park to relax, take a walk and read.

建議: Remove filler words (umm) and tighten the answer. Give a clear reason and one specific benefit for residents. Use linking words like 'because' and 'so' correctly and avoid repeating ideas.

範例: Yes, I would. My city has few parks, so residents lack public space to relax. More parks would provide places for exercise, family activities and community events.

建議: Finish your sentences and be specific. Start with a clear topic sentence, name the park or city, and give two concrete activities you would try. Correct prepositions (e.g., 'in the park') and avoid vague phrasing like 'to be honest.'

範例: Yes. I would like to visit Gardens by the Bay in Singapore because it offers many activities — I want to see the outdoor performances and try the waterfront fishing area if possible.

× Yes, I did. When I was a little girl. I really love going to parks with my family, especially my older sister and I used to stroll around the parks with my older sister and we was just gossiping about our daily issues.

✓ Yes, I did when I was a little girl. I really loved going to parks with my family, especially with my older sister; we used to stroll around the parks and gossip about our daily issues.

This sentence contains multiple issues: sentence fragments ('When I was a little girl.' should connect to a main clause) and tense inconsistency (mixing past 'did' with present 'love' when referring to childhood). Also pronoun/word order and verb agreement: 'especially my older sister and I used to' is awkward and 'we was' is incorrect subject-verb agreement. Suggested corrections: combine the fragment with the main clause, use past tense 'loved' and 'used to' for past habits, reorder to 'with my older sister' and use 'we used to' (plural verb 'used' with 'we').

× Yes I do, I still like going to parks, however due to my busy schedule lately I have hardly gone to the park. However, when I have free time, I will definitely go to my nearby park for relax.

✓ Yes, I do. I still like going to parks; however, because of my busy schedule lately I have hardly gone to the park. When I have free time, I will definitely go to my nearby park to relax.

Problems: inconsistent punctuation and repeated 'However'. 'due to' is better rendered as 'because of' in this context. 'for relax' is incorrect collocation — use the infinitive 'to relax'. Maintain present perfect 'have hardly gone' for recent experience and future 'will' for intention. Use proper sentence boundaries and punctuation to improve clarity.

× Yes, I would umm, because my city doesn't have very many parks, umm, so I don't feel like the residents have enough space to unwind themselves, so of course parks.

✓ Yes, I would, because my city doesn't have many parks, so I don't feel the residents have enough space to unwind; therefore, more parks are needed.

Issues: redundant fillers 'umm' should be removed in writing. 'have very many' is awkward — 'have many' is sufficient. 'unwind themselves' uses an unnecessary reflexive pronoun; use 'unwind' or 'relax' without 'themselves'. The final fragment 'so of course parks' is incomplete; make it a full clause such as 'therefore, more parks are needed.'

× Yes there are. To be honest, I have heard a park in Singapore that has a lot of recreational activities such as you can watch a group dance on the park or you can even go fishing on the.

✓ Yes, there are. To be honest, I have heard of a park in Singapore that has a lot of recreational activities; for example, you can watch group dances in the park or even go fishing there.

Problems: missing preposition 'of' after 'heard' — use 'heard of a park'. 'such as you can watch a group dance on the park' is awkward: use 'for example' and 'watch group dances in the park'. 'go fishing on the' is incomplete — use 'go fishing there.' Also ensure prepositions 'in' and 'there' are used correctly for location.