公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Improve grammar and clarity by using past tense consistently, remove hesitations, and produce a clear topic sentence followed by specific supporting details. Keep answer within 2–3 sentences and use linking words for coherence (e.g., “Yes, I did. When I was a child, I often went to the park with my family and friends. I remember playing on the swings and exploring the garden, which made me very happy.”).

範例: Yes, I did. When I was a child, I often went to the park with my family and friends, and I remember playing on the swings and exploring the garden, which made me very happy.

建議: Use present tense correctly and make sentences concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add specific details and linking words (e.g., “Yes, I still like going to parks. I usually go early in the morning around 6:00 to exercise; sometimes I go alone, but on weekends I go with friends and family.”). Avoid repetition like “alone” twice and incorrect prepositions.

範例: Yes, I still like going to parks. I usually go early in the morning around 6:00 to exercise; sometimes I go alone, but on weekends I go with friends and family.

建議: Answer the question directly (express preference), then give concise, specific reasons. Correct grammar (plural/singular, articles) and avoid repetition. Use linking words like “because” or “for example.” For instance: “Yes, I would like more parks in my city because they provide clean green spaces and fresh air. For example, large parks nearby have good facilities for families and exercise.”

範例: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because they provide clean green spaces and fresh air. For example, large parks nearby have good facilities for families and exercise.

建議: Be specific about which park and why, use future tense correctly, and avoid filler words. Provide one clear topic sentence and one or two specific reasons with linking words (e.g., “Yes, there is a park near my home that I plan to visit soon because it is beautiful and quiet, with lots of trees and a small lake.”).

範例: Yes, there is a park near my home that I plan to visit soon because it is beautiful and quiet, with many trees and a small lake, which makes it a perfect place to relax.

× Uh, when I was, I am child, I am going to park with my friends and family members.

✓ When I was a child, I went to the park with my friends and family members.

The student mixes past and present tenses. The activity happened in the past so use past simple 'went' and 'was a child'. Also add the article 'a' before 'child' and 'the' before 'park' for specificity. Suggestion: keep tense consistent when describing past experiences and use appropriate articles.

× I remember I enjoy very well in the park and I was some, uh, play in the garden and I play with my friends, uh, these memory.

✓ I remember enjoying the park very much; I used to play in the garden and I played with my friends; those are my memories.

The sentence incorrectly uses present tense 'enjoy' and inconsistent verb forms. Use 'remember enjoying' or 'I enjoyed' for past memories. 'Used to play' or past simple 'played' indicates habitual past actions. 'These memory' is incorrect: use plural 'those are my memories'. Suggestion: use 'remember' + gerund or past simple for past events and correct noun plurality.

× Uh, yes, I go park every day in the early morning around 6:00 AM Uh, sometime I alone, sometime I going alone in the park, but on weekend I go for my friends and family members.

✓ Yes, I go to the park every day in the early morning around 6:00 AM. Sometimes I go alone, and sometimes I go with my friends and family members on weekends.

The student omits the preposition 'to' with 'go to the park' and uses inconsistent verb forms ('I going'). Use simple present 'I go' for habitual actions. 'Sometime' should be 'sometimes' and 'on weekend' should be 'on weekends'. Also 'go for my friends' is incorrect; use 'go with my friends'. Suggestion: use correct prepositions, pluralize time expressions for habits, and consistent present simple verbs.

× In India there are many park and there are many facilities like cleanness in the park and the huge park in my surrounding and also park uh park is so clean and the atmosphere is very fresh.

✓ In India there are many parks and many facilities, such as cleanliness in the parks and large parks in my area. The parks are very clean and the atmosphere is very fresh.

Use plural 'parks' to match 'many'. 'Cleanness' is awkward; use 'cleanliness'. 'Huge park' should be 'large parks' to match plural context. 'Surrounding' should be 'surroundings' or 'area'. Also repeat 'park' unnecessarily; rephrase to avoid redundancy. Suggestion: match plurality with quantifiers, choose natural nouns, and simplify repeated words.

× Uh, MMM, one park by nearby, nearby my home and I think I go, I will go in the future this part because this park is so beautiful and elegant, because the nature is very cool and an atmosphere is.

✓ There is a park nearby my home and I think I will go there in the future because this park is beautiful and peaceful; the natural environment is pleasant and the atmosphere is fresh.

Use 'there is' to introduce existence of a single park (There be issue). 'Nearby my home' should be 'near my home'. For future intention use 'I will go' and add 'there' as the object. 'Elegant' is odd for a park; 'peaceful' or 'pleasant' is better. 'Because the nature is very cool and an atmosphere is.' is ungrammatical and incomplete; rephrase to 'the natural environment is pleasant and the atmosphere is fresh.' Suggestion: use 'there is' for existence, correct prepositions, complete clauses, and appropriate adjectives.