公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Clarify meaning with correct grammar and a clear topic sentence, then add 1–2 specific supporting details. Use correct verb forms and simple sentence structures to improve clarity (e.g., ‘There wasn’t a park near my house when I was a child. However, my school had a playground where I played with friends.’).

範例: There wasn’t a park near my house when I was a child. Instead, my school had a playground where I played games and ran around with my friends during breaks.

建議: Make a direct topic sentence and give one or two clear reasons using linking words. Correct tense use and word choice (e.g., ‘I still enjoy going to parks because I like the trees and fresh air. When I’m tired, I go there to relax or exercise.’). Avoid fillers like 'uh'.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because I like being among trees and breathing fresh air. When I feel tired, I often go there to jog or sit and relax.

建議: Answer directly then give 1–2 specific preferences with linking words. Improve grammar (subject-verb agreement) and vocabulary (e.g., 'bush walk trail' → 'walking trail through wooded areas'). Keep sentences concise.

範例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because I enjoy exploring green spaces. I often search online for parks with many trees and long walking trails where I can stroll and enjoy the views.

建議: Start with a clear topic sentence about your plans, then give concise specific details and a reason. Fix grammar and word choice (e.g., 'I have a plan to go to a national park in Taiwan. It has spectacular views and fresh air, but the hikes are challenging so I need to train.').

範例: Yes, I plan to visit Taroko National Park in Taiwan because it has spectacular scenery and fresh mountain air. The hikes are quite demanding, so I’m preparing by practicing walking and doing cardio exercises.

× One of us child there wasn't a part near my house I used to go to school.

✓ When I was a child, there wasn't a park near my house where I used to go to school.

The original sentence has incorrect word order and missing connectors causing unclear meaning. 'One of us child' is ungrammatical; use 'When I was a child'. 'Part' is a wrong word; use 'park'. Also combine clauses with 'where' to link the park to the location of the school. Improve by using proper time phrase, correct noun, and a relative clause.

× They has the playground where I can play games with friends or running around.

✓ They had a playground where I could play games with friends or run around.

The verb 'has' does not agree with plural subject 'They' in past context; also tense should match 'used to' so use past 'had' and 'could'. 'Running' should be base form 'run' after 'or'. Use consistent past tense and correct verb forms.

× I'm very likely going to park because I feel like I like trees a uh, fresh air around the parks.

✓ I really like going to parks because I enjoy the trees and the fresh air there.

The phrase 'I'm very likely going to park' is incorrect for expressing general preference; use simple present 'I like going to parks'. 'I feel like I like' is redundant. 'a uh' is filler and unnecessary. Use plural 'parks' and 'fresh air' with 'there' to refer to parks. Keep present tense for habitual preference.

× So when I got tired I will go to park to run to see the cleanings.

✓ So when I get tired, I will go to the park to run and enjoy the cleanliness.

Mixing past 'got' with future 'will' is inconsistent; use present 'get' with future 'will' for conditional time clauses. Use article 'the park'. 'See the cleanings' is incorrect—use 'enjoy the cleanliness' or 'see clean surroundings'. Use 'and' to connect actions and correct noun form.

× I do like to explore parks around the city and I search online.

✓ I like to explore parks around the city, and I search online.

The original 'I do like' is grammatically possible but unusual; simplified to 'I like'. More importantly, tense consistency and punctuation needed. Keep present simple for habitual actions. Add a comma before 'and' for clarity.

× I'm looking for those parts where has many trees, have a long Bush walk trail that I can walking around.

✓ I'm looking for those parks that have many trees and a long bush-walking trail where I can walk around.

'Parts' should be 'parks'. Use 'that have' to introduce the relative clause with correct subject-verb agreement. 'Bush walk trail' should be 'bush-walking trail' or 'walking trail through the bushes'. After 'can' use base verb 'walk' not 'walking'. Fix prepositions and noun forms.

× Take time to see the views around there too.

✓ I also take time to enjoy the views around there.

Sentence fragment lacking clear subject; add 'I' and use 'take time to' plus base verb 'enjoy'. 'See the views' is acceptable but 'enjoy the views' is more natural. Keep present simple for habitual action.

× Hi, I do have a plane go to National Park in Taiwan.

✓ I do have plans to go to a national park in Taiwan.

'Plane' is the wrong word; use 'plans'. 'Go to National Park' needs article and lowercase unless a specific park name is given: 'a national park'. Use 'plans to go' to express future intention. 'Hi' is unnecessary.

× There it's there's a very spectacular view and fresh air, but it takes time to hike on the mountain so I need to practice.

✓ There are very spectacular views and fresh air, but it takes time to hike the mountains, so I need to practice.

Original repeats 'there' and 'it's there's' is ungrammatical. Use 'There are' for plural 'views'. 'Hike on the mountain' is awkward; use 'hike the mountain(s)' or 'hike in the mountains'. Add a comma before 'so' and maintain consistent plural/singular forms.