公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Cần cải thiện ngữ pháp cơ bản (thì và động từ), tránh lặp từ và tiếng ừ/khựng. Nên mở đầu bằng câu chủ đề rõ ràng, sau đó thêm 1-2 chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ: hoạt động bạn làm ở công viên, tần suất). Dùng liên từ đơn giản để nối ý và giữ dưới 5 câu.

範例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. My family often had weekend picnics there, and I sometimes made new friends while playing. We usually brought food and games, so it was always fun and lively.

建議: Cần sửa cấu trúc câu và động từ (become/feel relaxed, go jogging). Tránh ngập ngừng, hoàn thành ý rõ ràng: nêu lý do chính, sau đó nói các hoạt động cụ thể. Giữ câu ngắn gọn và mạch lạc bằng liên từ đơn giản.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me relax after a busy day at work. I often go there to jog or simply sit on a bench and read, which helps me unwind.

建議: Cần tránh lặp từ và sử dụng cấu trúc rõ ràng để giải thích vì sao cần thêm công viên (lợi ích cụ thể). Nên dùng từ vựng phù hợp (important, bring families together, children stay active) và nối ý bằng linking words (for example, because, so).

範例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide green space and bring families together. For example, parks offer safe places for children to play and help people exercise, so they improve both health and community life.

建議: Cần sửa ngữ pháp (opened, hasn't had time, it hosts many public activities). Nói hoàn chỉnh lý do muốn đến (ví dụ: loại hoạt động) và kết thúc câu. Sử dụng cụm từ miêu tả chính xác và tránh ngập ngừng.

範例: Yes, there is a new park that opened last month which I want to visit. I haven't had time yet, but I heard it hosts concerts and yoga classes, so I'd like to go and join a class or watch an event there.

× Yes, I like to go into park as a child, when I was a child, my family or my family has always, uh, go there to, uh, have a picnic on the weekend.

✓ Yes, I liked going to the park when I was a child; my family always went there to have a picnic on the weekend.

The sentence mixes present and past tenses and omits the article 'the' before 'park'. Use past tense 'liked' and 'went' to match 'when I was a child'. Use 'going to the park' or 'the park' because specific place needs an article. Also remove repetition and incorrect verb 'has always' with plural subject; 'always went' is correct here.

× I, uh, sometime I can make a new new friend.

✓ Sometimes I could make a new friend.

Use 'sometimes' as the adverb at the sentence start and use past modal 'could' to match past context. Remove duplicated 'new'. 'Can' indicates present ability; in past narration 'could' is more appropriate.

× I sometimes I could make a new friend on the.

✓ Sometimes I could make a new friend there.

The original repeats subjects and trails off with 'on the.' Use 'there' to indicate the park. Keep past modal 'could' for past habits.

× Yes, I like to going to park now because I feel like, uh, I cannot, I can be more relaxing after a busy day at work and umm, I can uh, jogging or just like uh, just like sitting on.

✓ Yes, I like going to the park now because I can relax after a busy day at work, and I can go jogging or just sit there.

Use 'like going' (verb + -ing) or 'like to go'; 'to going' is incorrect. Use 'the park' with article. 'Can relax' (not 'be more relaxing') expresses ability. Use 'go jogging' and 'sit there' for correct verb forms and preposition.

× Yes, I think, umm, I want, yes, I think, umm, it must be uh, more park in my city because I think, uh, the park is very important.

✓ Yes, I think we need more parks in my city because parks are very important.

'Must be more park' is incorrect; use 'we need more parks' or 'there should be more parks'. Use plural 'parks' when speaking generally. Simplify repetition and use present tense for general statements.

× It, it's make a family, it's like, uh, happier or stay together for a picnic and uh, the child can uh, be like, uh, active.

✓ They help families be happier and stay together for picnics, and children can be more active.

Use plural subject 'they' or 'parks' to match plural verb. 'It's make' is wrong; use 'they help' or 'they make'. 'The child' should be 'children' for general meaning. Use 'be more active' for clarity.

× Yes, uh, there, there is a park in my city that had opener uh, the previous month, but I haven't had time to go there.

✓ Yes, there is a park in my city that opened last month, but I haven't had time to go there.

Use 'opened' (simple past) instead of 'had opener' and 'last month' instead of 'the previous month' for natural speech. 'There is' is correct for stating existence, keep tense consistent.

× I heard it have not except many public activity like concert or yoga classes and uh, I'd like.

✓ I heard it does not yet host many public activities like concerts or yoga classes, and I'd like to go.

'I heard it have not except' is ungrammatical. Use reporting verb 'I heard' + present simple 'does not yet host' for current state. Use plural 'activities' and plural 'concerts'. Complete the sentence 'I'd like to go' to show intention.