公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Give a direct, clear topic sentence and then one or two specific supporting details. Use correct tense and avoid filler words. For example, start with "Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child." Then add specific memories (what you did there, who you went with) and use linking words like "because" or "and" to connect ideas.

範例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child because they had a playground where I spent hours on the swings and slides. Also, I often went with my parents and younger sister, so it was a chance for us to play together and relax.

建議: Answer directly and use natural, grammatical phrases. Say who you go with and why it is enjoyable. Use one linking word (e.g., "because" or "so") and give a brief specific example of an activity you do there.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because I can relax there with my friends and family. For example, we often have picnics and play frisbee, which is a fun way to spend an afternoon.

建議: Keep your answer focused and clear: state your opinion first, then give one or two clear, specific reasons. Avoid unclear names or fragmented phrases. Use linking words like "because" and "so" to connect ideas and use correct grammar (e.g., "elderly people" not "old people go out not in").

範例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because many neighborhoods lack green spaces. For example, older people and children would benefit from nearby parks where they can exercise and meet friends.

建議: Give a clear, direct response and elaborate with a brief reason or example. If you mean you have no specific park in mind, say so and add how you choose parks (e.g., convenience, features). Avoid hesitations and questions in your answer.

範例: I don't have a specific park in mind, but I usually choose parks that are close to home or have good facilities. For instance, I would go to a park with a playground and walking paths because it is convenient for a quick weekend visit.

× Yes, because when I entered, I think the parks it's any nice for me and uh, any until now, yeah, I think.

✓ Yes, because when I was a child, I thought the parks were very nice for me and I still think so now.

The student mixes past and present incorrectly. Use past simple ('was', 'thought', 'were') to describe feelings when younger and present simple ('still think') for current opinion. Remove filler words and incorrect 'it's any nice' structure; use 'very nice' or 'nice'. Suggestion: Use consistent tense when describing past experiences and contrast with present using 'still' or 'now'.

× Yes, because until now I can to go with my friends, my family and I think this it's so nice saying.

✓ Yes, because up to now I can go with my friends and my family, and I think it is very nice.

Incorrect infinitive form 'can to go' — modal 'can' should be followed by base verb without 'to' ('can go'). 'This it's so nice saying' is ungrammatical; use 'I think it is very nice.' Also 'until now' better as 'up to now' or 'still'. Suggestion: After modal verbs use base verb form; simplify phrasing to 'I think it is very nice.'

× Yanni and my city yes, because and nanny went Todd old people go out not in thus not in Diani the site it's closed at Yani. I think all that we will go to parks in winter.

✓ Yes, in my city we need more parks because elderly people do not have many places to go; some sites are closed. I think we will visit parks more in winter.

The original is largely unintelligible with incorrect word order and unclear pronouns. Fix by clarifying subject ('in my city'), using 'elderly people' instead of unclear phrases, and correcting verb forms ('do not have', 'are closed', 'will visit'). Maintain future tense for predictions ('will visit'). Suggestion: Make sentences clear and concise: state the problem, who is affected, and the expected outcome.

× No, but when I want to go to parks, I'll go. Where are the parks? Any, uh, where? My home, yeah.

✓ No specific parks, but when I want to go to a park, I will go. Where are the parks? Anywhere near my home would be fine.

Use 'a park' not plural when speaking of an unspecified single instance ('go to a park'). 'I'll' is fine for future but 'Any, uh, where?' is nonstandard; use 'anywhere'. Clarify 'my home' to 'near my home'. Suggestion: Use 'a' for a non-specific countable noun and 'anywhere' for unspecified locations; keep tense consistent for future plans.