公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Cần sửa ngữ pháp cơ bản, sử dụng thì phù hợp và tránh lẫn lộn từ. Trả lời nên rõ ràng với một câu chủ đề + 1-2 câu bổ sung cụ thể. Hãy dùng từ đúng (park, playground), chia thì quá khứ (when I was ten / I used to go), và tránh tiếng “uh” quá nhiều. Ví dụ: nêu hoạt động bạn làm ở công viên (play, fly kites) và cảm xúc kèm lý do ngắn gọn.

範例: Yes, I loved going to parks when I was ten. I often visited a big park in Hanoi where I played on the swings and flew kites with my friends, which made me feel very happy because we could run around and enjoy the fresh air.

建議: Cần mạch lạc và ngữ pháp rõ ràng: dùng thì hiện tại đơn cho thói quen (I still like / I usually go). Tránh lặp từ và cấu trúc rời rạc. Thêm một lí do cụ thể và một hoạt động bạn làm ở công viên để phong phú nội dung. Giữ tối đa 3–4 câu.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I usually go there to relax and get fresh air after work. I often take a short walk or sit on a bench and read, which helps me unwind.

建議: Cần dùng cấu trúc rõ ràng để bày tỏ ý kiến (I would like to see more parks because…). Tránh lỗi từ vựng nghiêm trọng (malls park / prison incorrect). Nên nêu lý do cụ thể (health, recreation, space for children) và một ví dụ thực tế. Sử dụng linking words như “because” hoặc “for example”.

範例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because we have few green spaces and many people need places to exercise and relax. For example, a new park with playgrounds and walking paths would give families somewhere safe to spend time outdoors.

建議: Câu trả lời thiếu rõ ràng và nhiều lỗi từ vựng/ý tưởng không liên quan. Trước hết, xác định một công viên cụ thể hoặc loại công viên bạn muốn thăm (national park, botanical garden). Dùng thì tương lai (I want to visit / I'd like to go) và giải thích lý do rõ ràng (scenery, fresh air, hiking). Tránh filler như “umm” và từ sai (prison).

範例: I would like to visit a national park in the future, such as Ba Vi National Park. I want to go there to enjoy the fresh air, see the mountains and go hiking, because I remember feeling very relaxed when I visited similar places as a child.

× Yes, I like going to pass as a children's when I was a 10 years old, I going to Hanoi city and I am playing a parchment.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks when I was 10 years old; I went to Hanoi city and I was playing on a see-saw.

The sentence mixes present and past tense. Use past tense 'liked' and 'went' for childhood actions. 'a 10 years old' is incorrect; use '10 years old' without an article. 'pass' is likely 'parks' and 'children's' is unnecessary. 'I am playing a parchment' is ungrammatical; likely 'playing on a see-saw' or similar. Suggestion: keep consistent past tense for past events and use correct nouns and prepositions.

× It's very, uh, funny of very happy and I think, uh, it's this plane is very beautiful and wonderful and.

✓ It was very fun and made me very happy, and I think the place was very beautiful and wonderful.

Using 'funny of very happy' is incorrect collocation. Use 'fun' and 'made me very happy'. 'This plane' should be 'the place'. Maintain past tense 'was' to match earlier past context. Suggestion: use appropriate adjectives and correct noun ('place') and correct linking verbs.

× Oh yes I am. Well yes I still like going to park.

✓ Oh yes. Well, yes, I still like going to the park.

Mixing 'I am' without a complement is incorrect. 'going to park' needs an article 'the' or 'a' depending on meaning; here 'the park' is natural. Maintain present simple 'like'. Suggestion: remove extraneous 'I am' and include correct article.

× I go there to relax and go to and get some fresh air and it's a good plan to my out for a walk for the more I usually work in.

✓ I go there to relax and get some fresh air; it's a good place to go for a walk, especially when I am stressed from work.

Original sentence is fragmented and contains incorrect phrases: 'go to and get' redundant, 'a good plan to my out' makes no sense. 'for the more I usually work in' is ungrammatical. Rephrase to coherent structure and use 'place' not 'plan'. Suggestion: simplify clauses, use appropriate vocabulary ('place', 'go for a walk', 'stressed from work').

× Oh yes, I would like to see more fun in my city because it's my country don't have don't have a malls park.

✓ Oh yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because my country does not have many mall parks.

'would like' is fine, but 'more fun' should be 'more parks'. 'it's my country don't have don't have' is double negative and ungrammatical; correct form is 'my country does not have'. 'a malls park' is incorrect noun phrase; use 'many mall parks' or 'mall parks'. Suggestion: avoid double negatives and use correct singular/plural forms and auxiliary verb 'does'.

× And for example, I could park and for example, I could go to prison and people relax.

✓ For example, I could go to a park where people can relax.

'I could park' is incorrect verb use; use 'go to a park'. 'go to prison' changes meaning; likely intended 'park'. Preposition and article use needed: 'to a park' and 'where people can relax'. Suggestion: choose correct verbs and prepositions and use relative clauses for clarity.

× Oh, I think it's umm, the top is a tuition.

✓ Oh, I think the top place is Tu Liem.

Original is unclear: 'the top is a tuition' is ungrammatical. If referring to a place name, use proper noun 'Tu Liem' (example) and present simple 'I think the top place is...'. Suggestion: use correct noun and present tense for current opinion.

× I want to go in the my future because, umm, when I was uh, uh, ago years I went to prison study and in here it's uh, I am, I feel it's very fresh.

✓ I want to go in the future because when I was young I went there to study, and it felt very refreshing.

Mixed tenses and incorrect words: 'in the my future' should be 'in the future'. 'ago years' and 'I went to prison study' are incorrect; likely 'when I was younger I went there to study'. Use past tense 'went' and 'felt'. 'very fresh' should be 'very refreshing' to describe atmosphere. Suggestion: use correct time expressions, appropriate adjectives, and consistent past tense for past experiences.