公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more grammatical, concise and clear. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail using linking words. Correct tense and possessive forms and avoid fragments.

範例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, my younger and older brothers and I often spent weekends there playing football and having picnics, which helped us get along better.

建議: Provide a clear topic sentence and explain reasons with coherent linking words. Fix grammar (articles, verb forms) and clarify schedule constraints. Keep it to two or three sentences.

範例: I still enjoy going to parks occasionally. However, because I work as an editor during weekdays, I usually only visit parks with my husband on weekends when we both have free time.

建議: Answer directly and give a specific reason using clear vocabulary. Avoid hesitations and filler sounds. State the current situation and a consequence or benefit of more parks.

範例: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because there are very few green spaces at the moment, and additional parks would provide residents with places for exercise and relaxation.

建議: Give a direct answer naming a type or specific park and explain why with one or two clear reasons. Remove unclear phrases and unrelated statements. Use correct verb forms and linking words.

範例: Yes, I would like to visit the large botanical garden outside the city with my husband in the future because we both enjoy nature walks and photographing plants.

× Yes I did. I prefer going to park as a child because I have.

✓ Yes, I did. I preferred going to the park as a child because I had younger and older brothers and we often went to the park.

Errors: missing articles before countable noun 'park' and wrong tense/structure. Use 'the park' when referring to a specific place generally visited. The student is speaking about past habits, so use past tense 'preferred' and 'had' for possession in the past. Also combine sibling mention into one clause and use plural 'brothers'. Suggestion: use articles with countable nouns and match past-tense verbs for childhood descriptions.

× Younger brother and older brother and I often went to the park.

✓ My younger brother, my older brother, and I often went to the park.

Missing possessive pronouns 'my' before 'younger brother' and 'older brother' makes the sentence unclear. List items need commas and the correct parallel structure. Suggestion: include possessive pronouns and use commas to separate items in a list.

× I sometimes go to park with my husband because I work as an editor at a company so I don't move weekday so weekday ends.

✓ I sometimes go to the park with my husband because I work as an editor at a company, so I don't move on weekdays until the weekend ends.

Missing article 'the' before 'park'. Incorrect time expression 'weekday' should be plural 'weekdays' and needs preposition 'on'. The clause 'so weekday ends' is unclear; intended meaning likely 'until the weekend' or 'until weekdays end'. Suggestion: use 'the park', 'on weekdays', and clarify the time phrase.

× Yes, I'd like to see more parks in my city because my city is. MMM speak cities or parks? Number of parks? Very few.

✓ Yes, I'd like to see more parks in my city because there are very few parks.

Fragmented and unclear sentence structure. 'My city is. MMM speak cities or parks? Number of parks? Very few.' are disfluent and not grammatical. Use a clear cause clause: 'because there are very few parks.' Suggestion: avoid fillers and combine ideas into one coherent sentence.

× Of course, I direct you go to the parks in the future because I prefer to move with my husband and I like go to traveling. So I usually I wake up.

✓ Of course, I would like to go to parks in the future because I prefer to travel with my husband and I like traveling. Usually I wake up early.

Multiple errors: 'direct you go' is incorrect—use 'would like to go' or 'plan to go' for future intentions. 'Prefer to move with my husband' should be 'prefer to travel with my husband'. 'I like go to traveling' should be 'I like traveling' or 'I like to travel' (use gerund or infinitive correctly). 'So I usually I wake up' is ungrammatical; add clarity e.g. 'Usually I wake up early.' Suggestion: use correct future expressions ('would like to'), use 'travel' collocations, and choose gerund or infinitive consistently.